She was a DOCTOR, i am nothing, nothing, ahe would be soooo pisssed an hate me....but she is on another Plane, I KNOW THAT.....

I think sometimes we "I" question my strength. Just as I question my faith. I always come to the same conclusion. "I don't know"... Maybe we aren't suppose to "know" maybe in "knowing" would take the purpose of life away. Just a thought.

I miss my grandma. She is a very special angel. Cuz she is my angel.

I wonder if she is my angel.....sometimes I hope she is NOT...not seeing me doing what I told her

Sounds to me that your depressed to the point of needing some professional attention.

Seriously... A crisis line might help

Do you have someone to talk to? If not...a Crisis line might really help....your depression is getting the best of you...don't let it Fight!

I'm so sorry you are hurting Ashley. Nothing is wrong with you. Having those feelings even after years of losing a loved one is normal. Just feel it. The pain of loss in death which can be far too soon in our minds doesn't go away but it gets more manageable and after the grieving, we can hang onto the happy, fun, loving memories and the pain lessens. Just let it move through you. I understand how you feel. I lost my brother years ago, but I smile and feel happiness now; knowing he is still here but in a different way. I miss him everyday. Somedays I cry and that's OK. I lost a HUGE part of myself when he was killed (hit by a car), but through the years I have found peace with it. I hope you will too hon. Hugs, Julie xx

Our angels don't look at us like that...I don't think. They see us differently than we see ourselves. LOL x-ray vision LOL

chin-up Ash...

Ashley,

Try to think a positive thought about yourself right now. She loves you as you are and I think it would sadden her to see you hurting yourself with mean words about yourself sweets.

Yeahm you don't sound ok, do you need any help?

I wonder if she is my angel.....sometimes I hope she is NOT...not seeing me doing what I told her I would never do.....I ashamed of myself....we used to always talk about me being an alcoholic, she was a pys., both of my parents were hard core alcoholics, and we used to debt that I had to be "super" CARFUL......I laughed at her.....I would never be like my mother and father....guess where I am? my father, and if I dont stop, my mothher.............

I miss the one woman who put life into perspective for me...I will never understand god but I know he knows better than ME..........

Ash doesn't sound like she ever "Really" left you. You still hear her words and even understand them. I don't know about you but that is comforting to me.

Prayers for you, Ashley. I'm sorry you're having such a hard time.

You CAN do this!