I'm sorry you drank, but you did remind me of something. It ain't any different out there than then when I stopped. Cunning, baffling. powerful. Words right out of chapter 3 of the big book. One is too many and a thousand isn't enough.
I think you'll find a ginger ale will go a long way, as well as finding out that a drink isn't necessary to have fun. Don't cave to others.
You'll get there, just remember that you are fighting a pretty dangerous foe - and it's in your own mind...

Hugs,
Dennis

Heyyy, I'm so sorry to hear you feel this way. I fell off the wagon on Friday night and felt the same pretty much yesterday. All I can suggest is that you take one day at a time and don't beat yourself up about this. Learn from it for next time you're in a similar situation, or if it really is too hard still to not have a drink at the moment then avoid the situation completely until you're strong enough to deal with it. I do hope you'll feel better about what's happened soon. xxx

I don't know a single alcoholic, including and definetly myself, who can go out and have a drink. As soon as I take a drink the craving kicks in full force and I'm essentially its whipping post. I'm totally powerless over alcohol once I take that first drink. The key is NOT taking a first drink. Sounds simple but try getting drunk without taking a first drink;-)
On a serious note this wasnt a "slip" as described. You went out drinking with friends. What is the suprise here? You got drunk. What did you *really* think would happen?

How were you blindsided?

You are early in sobriety and thought you could have one or two drinks with friends. You put yourself in the situation and you chose to drink. If your drinking is at the point where it is a problem, are you really surprised that you can't stop once you start?

BTW -- about being the "oddball" in the group because you aren't drinking. My experience is that when I am out and I am the only one not drinking, NOT ONE CARES. The only time it has ever become an issue was with me, when I realized I did not enjoy being around people whose goal was to get shitfaced, and I excused myself and went home.

They say this is the only disease that actually talks to you and tells you you don't have it. Pretty persuasive, too, as you just found out. Don't listen. And don't beat yourself up. You had to meet the enemy at some point, and now you know what a powerful force you're up against. Learn from this experience, and you'll be better prepared next time.
A word of warning -- you need to put sobriety first. If that means you have to skip a night out, or leave early, or be the "odd ball," then that's what you do. It won't be the end of the world, and even if it is, then it wasn't the world you want to live in anyway. I'd much rather be an oddball than a drunken idiot!

If you want sobriety, if it is really want you want you'll will need to change people, places and things , including drinking buddies. Also most slips are planned drunks

It wasn't like you went to the carnival and a tiger jumped you - this wasn't a blindsiding. Sit in a barber's chair long enough and you'll get a haircut, as they say. I know this isn't what you want to hear, but like has been said, what did you expect would happen? We alcoholics can't drink, period. This disease will be the one killing you, not your friends. If you feel the oddball / odd one out now, you'll definitely be the odd one out when they're burying you. Strong words, but alcoholism kills. Way too many people that don't need to die, who thought they can control their drinking. We can't.

As ExJ said, most people really, really don't care if you're drinking or not. Perhaps let them know you're not drinking. You don't have to get into details, but tell them it's not it for you any more. Find other ways to connect and hang out with your friends - a movie or doing something physical like a hike, etc.

Sorry that you had the drinks...but you don't need to put yourself in those positions.

If you are an alcoholic, going out with that group in the first place was a misjudgment.

If you are not an alcoholic, the same comment can be made. There's always an alternate choice and a plan in advance is key. Having to feel you have to "fit in" with drinking can be replaced with "no, I'm driving" or "I'm on medication" or whatever.

You drank because you're an alcoholic, and drinking is what we do unless we decide, day by day, moment by moment, that we are going to be willing, just for now, to turn our desire to drink over to a higher power (or to the better angels of our nature, as some of our non-AA friends may say).

Relapse is not unusual, and the only important thing now is what you do today. Think of it as a painful moment of clarity. You learned something: being around people who are drinking is a trigger for you. After a couple similar relapses like yours, I realized I had to stay away from situations like that. It was about five years before I was comfortable around people drinking. Some people can handle that situation just fine. I couldn't. Maybe you can't, either.

Also -- you can't have 1 or 2 drinks with friends early in sobriety, or any other time in sobriety. For alcoholics, 1 drink is always the END of sobriety! (I think you meant being with friends while THEY have 1 or 2 and you have none, but just in case!)

i went to a restaurant with friends and they were all drinking, i did not go out with intentions of drinking but felt different when everyone else were drinking, it was a restaurant not the local watering hole. i just wanted to clarify that . I did feel out of place and so i had a drink and kept drinking but to clarify it was a nice family atmosphere restaurant

yes you are right i wanna be able to go out with friends and they have a drink and it doesn't affect me .They don't have a drinking problem . i do

I used to do the same thing over and over again. I just decided one day that this cycle had to end! For me, being hard on myself did not help at all. When you are ready and fed up (like me) you will stop doing old behaviors.

I'm sorry that you drank - it's rough when you slip up...trust me, I know. The only thing you can do is to learn from it and try to get as many days between you and the slip-up as possible. Soon you'll find that you are back on track provided you have the right mindset and keep in mind not just how badly you felt after the relapse, but also how much better you will feel each day you make it through without a drink. I wish I could drink like a normal person, but I can't. I have proven that to myself time and time again and now I've had enough. When you are sure that you have had enough of the suffering that drinking heavily brings, then you will have a powerful inspiration to keep away from alcohol.

I wish you all the best in your recovery :)

I'm with you, I don't get why it's so hard for me to have just one drink. I have gotten really good with making excuses why I can't have one. Just yesterday I reached the summit of a mountain after a 10-hour ascent. My friend passed around a flask asking "How 'bout some victory whisky?" and I said "I'm too worn out for a shot, I have to focus on the descent".

In my heart I know it would be easier to tell my friends, including my hard-living climbing partners, that I can't drink at all. But I keep making excuses. I hope you are able to find the strength to just tell those around you 'No thanks, one is the first of many.'

Have you tried reading the first 3 chapters of the AA big book. It helped to explain why I continually fell for the same old idea of this time it will be different I will just have a couple etc. That is the mental aspect of alcoholism. We cant get drunk if we don't take the first drink but my mind is my worst enemy in terms of efforts to stay away from that first drink. That is why I need a program so i am not relying on myself.

The drs opinion also describes the phenomenon of craving which kicks in once I start drinking and pretty much guarantees that I cant control the amount I drink.

Until I had some grasp and acceptance of the fact that my thinking and will wouldnt keep my away from a drink and that once I drank i would get drunk I didnt have a hope of staying sober. It was that knowledge that gave me the desperation needed to do what was needed to recover.