Actually, you truly have control of what you choose to put in your body.
I would assume, nobody forced you to drink whatever you did.
If you continue to drink, you will more than likely always get the same result.
There is nothing wrong with having a brand new outlook and going forward and saying 'I no longer drink, I quit'.
It will bring your more happiness than what your going through now.
Get some help because whatever you tried before is not working.
I wish you well, I know this is an issue, I have seen you here before.

This was me just awhile ago. It is possible to live without booze. I believe you can too. Just get your but into action, Stop being on defense and go get Sober.

Cmon

1is2many

Abshoefreakshow - I get what you're saying that I am the one doing the act and therefore, I am in control. The alcohol doesn't go in my body by itself.

But isn't loss of control one of the biggest problems with alcoholism? Because really...if we all had so much control, would alcoholism really even be a problem? We could all just decide not to drink and then the term alcoholism wouldn't even exist.

But isn't loss of control one of the biggest problems with alcoholism? Because really...if we all had so much control, would alcoholism really even be a problem? We could all just decide not to drink and then the term alcoholism wouldn't even exist.

I think you just solved your issue.
Not drinking means not loosing control.

Abshoefreakshow - so you are saying that you think we have control prior to the first drink, and then lose control when we start drinking?

If that is what you are saying, I might have to agree. It is much easier for me to not drink than to control how much I drink.....it is always hit or miss with whether or not I get completely out of control and I never know what type of drinking day it's gonna be until I do it.

I think I agree with Abs on this point. I have control until I take the first drink. Then I lose all control. It is just one after another. I have done this enough in my last 2 months of relapse and on and off trying to stop to know that at least for me, what Abs says is true. I may be weak as hell up till that first drink, and I may be squirrely, and pissed or depressed or whatever excuse I want(ed) to give myself before taking that drink. But I do know I was in control. After the first sip, it was gulping and downing them.

It is a combination of things to get past those weaknesses that lead up to our justifying that first drink (IMO). I started seeing my shrink again in conjunction with my AA meetings. I have delved deeper in being honest with who I am and facing things I was not willing before to face. I think in doing this work, the addidion of my shink, it has helped bring me more peace to ease the angst that would otherwise be creeping up on me.

Unlike others, I have not worked the steps in AA. I tried, and had a disaster with my first sponsor with the 5th step. It was so bad that I would not work the steps with another AA person. But I DID go to meetings, pray, and do my own work. But it obviously was not enough.

Adding my shrink has added a big element to my new sobriety. But a shrink is only as good as we give them the broken and hurt parts of us to work on. Which I am doing now.

I am willing to tiptoe back into step work. But I am going at my own pace now. I am on my 8th day and gaining some confidence again. The urge has subsided, but I am early on again. No pink clouds and unicorns this time either.

So my two cents is AA, the steps if you can do them, therapy if you can afford it, and before taking that first drink, when you still control that next action, pause, consider what you are really getting ready to do, and try and delay the moment, try and understand that "this too will pass" is really a real saying. And tomorrow is another day.

I am glad that you are here. Thank you for your honesty and posting this.

Abshoefreakshow - so you are saying that you think we have control prior to the first drink, and then lose control when we start drinking?

I am not saying anything. And I am not going to get in a debate either way.
I was trying to simplify it and make it a plain and simple and as a matter of fact. No alcohol no issues like you just had.
I was trying to make it easier for you and help you in your life.
Maybe by eliminating alcohol from your life, which you have control to make the decision of, you have more control of your decision making.

Maybe control is not the real issue. I for one believe you do have control but the only way you will really be able to eliminate alcohol ingestion permanently from your life is to believe your decision to not drink alcohol ever again will improve your life and make you happier overall than the insane roller-coaster of alcohol addiction. Stop forcing your body to deal with the alcohol. It is a poison in any amount.

@Jayus- hence the label, "alcoholic." We loose control when it comes to the drink. Some can have a glass of wine; we drink the whole bottle. And we need it the next day, and so on.

But some people use the label, "I'm an alcoholic," as an excuse to staying a drunk... "I can't help it... I'm an alcoholic!"

That's a lie.

I'm going to say something very controversial, but when we give in to that desire to drink, it's because we're weak. Period.

Be strong. Don't take that first drink.

That said, if you are trying to detox, you may need professional help. But if you are like me, you just have to flip the switch and say that's it... No more drinking. EVER. Period, the end, full stop.

I got a PM the other day from some mystery person, accusing me of not being a "real" alcoholic just because I have been sober 4 years. Like because it's only 4, that's not enough, yet at the same time, BECAUSE I've been able to stop for 4 years, I'm also not really a drunk.

Not going to play that comparison game. All I know is, I drank WAAAAAAAY too much for WAY too long and then I just stopped cold turkey and my life has dramatically improved.

You can do it, too.

I am really sorry that happened. I used to be the same way, and it's so embarrassing and scary. I understand what you mean about not being in control, and it's terrifying. I am thinking of you today and hope you are feeling better soon.

Abshoefreakshow- wasn't trying to debate, just was wondering what your opinion is.

I don't think anyone is ever right or wrong about matters like this...we are all different and so should our opinions be.

Deliann- I do feel very weak but want to be strong. It's a bad day today but I will be strong and stay sober. I will never use my problem as an excuse to keep drinking and never do.

Annab- thank you for your kind words

Deli, I don't think your comment should be controversial at all. I agree it is weakness when we take that first drink with the intent of feeling better on a temporary basis. We accept what we clearly understand in advance will be the consequences of the drink because for the moment we want to feel better, regardless of what we know in our hearts will be the cost. The promise of feeling better with a simple drink of alcohol is a very strong motivation to cave in to our weakness.

Here is a bunch more opinions ,experience along with some research . science and the list goes on . It would Be a great distraction while gathering your wits a bit....I hope its useful...One line in one of the articles said, Participation in recovery does not alway define what your really seeking through a particular treatment but clean and sober time is even achievable without your permission:)) Go Figure!!! Control could be a illusion requiring just you participating to become better equipped to understand yourself:))

https://alcoholselfhelpnews.wordpress.com/2007/04/01/alcohol-characteristics-and-effects/

J if you believe you have no control, then that is a good place to start to recover.

What do you intend to do to change??

G8

G8- I'm not sure what I need to change. I'm going to try to stay busier....read the AA and 12 step books....spend time on here.

Was thinking of trying online AA meetings. I'm afraid to see ppl I know in a local meeting.....Some ppl may think that is silly and maybe it is. But I am who I am. Plus I'm in sales and do tons of meetings over the web and literally think they are just as effective.....so I'd like to think web AA meetings would be just as good?

I've never done an AA meeting so I think it might be something to try.