Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I was headed to a relapse - it should have happened yesterday or in the next few days.
I was attending group, was positive to get through xmas, new years and to be coming to my 8th sober week.
But I seemed to be missing my antidepressents and camporal. I could feel I was down - since 3rd jan Ive been isolating, depressed, tearful and negative.
I missed my pills on thursday, my partner collected my prescription on fri so although I missed it for 2 days but then on saturday the chemist closed early and on sunday it all went tits up.
I woke, feeling down - then my relationship turned into a fricking bloodbath. I ripped shreds of him verbally - It went on all day and night, I packed my stuff, tried to smash a lamp which refused to smash and I cried and felt the most horrible raw pain. The pain was horrendous because Ive never had to feel anything before.
So 6pm craving like mad (partner had left to get away) I roared about the unfairness of it all, I wanted a drink but I had awareness to fight it. I knew it was a medication crash - I wished I was dead. We had alcohol in the house.
All I could tink of was how could I cope with this pain, then what about future pain when someone dies etc - I really was losing it.
I called my sister who asked was I drinking so I could drive up. She talked me through it - i told her I was planning on it. She said she would come over with my other sister. I thought it might make things worse.
Then my partner came home, I yelled at him some more, cried etc. Then hugged and I went to bed.
Today I went to see my keyworker and told her all about it. I also apologised to my boyfreind and told him I hadnt taken my pills. He was so good, he said I should have told him because it would have been understandable.
Today, I am grateful I didnt drink, but it did give me a very big fright.
sorry to dump this all lol, it didnt feel like it was that much when it was in my head.
I was attending group, was positive to get through xmas, new years and to be coming to my 8th sober week.
But I seemed to be missing my antidepressents and camporal. I could feel I was down - since 3rd jan Ive been isolating, depressed, tearful and negative.
I missed my pills on thursday, my partner collected my prescription on fri so although I missed it for 2 days but then on saturday the chemist closed early and on sunday it all went tits up.
I woke, feeling down - then my relationship turned into a fricking bloodbath. I ripped shreds of him verbally - It went on all day and night, I packed my stuff, tried to smash a lamp which refused to smash and I cried and felt the most horrible raw pain. The pain was horrendous because Ive never had to feel anything before.
So 6pm craving like mad (partner had left to get away) I roared about the unfairness of it all, I wanted a drink but I had awareness to fight it. I knew it was a medication crash - I wished I was dead. We had alcohol in the house.
All I could tink of was how could I cope with this pain, then what about future pain when someone dies etc - I really was losing it.
I called my sister who asked was I drinking so I could drive up. She talked me through it - i told her I was planning on it. She said she would come over with my other sister. I thought it might make things worse.
Then my partner came home, I yelled at him some more, cried etc. Then hugged and I went to bed.
Today I went to see my keyworker and told her all about it. I also apologised to my boyfreind and told him I hadnt taken my pills. He was so good, he said I should have told him because it would have been understandable.
Today, I am grateful I didnt drink, but it did give me a very big fright.
sorry to dump this all lol, it didnt feel like it was that much when it was in my head.
Your profile doesn't indicate AA, have you given it any thought? I'm just suggesting because with AA comes a fellowship of support where you could call ppl at a time like that. I hope today is a better day.
Where are you in the steps?
I was lucky that I realised what I was doing. The outpatient group I go to has given me so much self awareness and understanding of the tricks this thing has up its sleeves.
Ktharp and Huw I am not in AA. I originally didnt want to go incase I met anyone I knew. But also I understand logic and the mind more than blind faith - although I am a spiritual person and have had a few personal religious experiences.
At this stage, Its something i am considering - One of the girls at outpatients swears by it. Myself and 1 man (who has his 1 yr anniversary tomorrow) want to ask her about it.
For me I think it is something I am willing to try - My job requires that I travel and stay at hotels alone a lot. So as its a dangerzone for me, I am giving it thought while on the road.
Europgal - stopping meds is not an option just right now - but its something I want to do once i get 1yr behind me.
Jan and Jacker - thanks. If im honest I could have recognised the signs before I did.
I gave my partner the permission to sit me down, give me a hug and ask "where are we at with stinking thinking right now?" if he sees me start to get down, stop grooming, going out etc. I am going to sit my kid sis down to and enlist her in the same thing, ie if she doesnt hear from me for a few days etc.
Its not the first time this has happened with my meds, and I relapsed this way before. So now I have set a reminder on my phone to reorder at the third of every fourth week. Also Im going to keep my pills sommewhere visible so my partner can see.
I guess Im trying to put more safety blocks in place to keep me sober.
Thanks everyone, I know I dont post for help much but this place is a great support for me.