Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
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God Bless
Lionel
Sandy and Donald went into their local pub in great good humour and ordered two large whiskies.
Are you lads celebrating something? " asked the bartender. "
We certainly are, " said Sandy. " We've just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time. A hundred pieces it had and it only took us six months."
" Six months. But that's quite a long time, said the bartender.
I don't think so, said Donald. It said on the box, three to five years."
A brain goes to a local bar
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"You're already out of your head."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual. "Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks the bloke why.
"Well" the guy says, "I have a friend in Ireland and a friend in Australia. We have our birthdays on the same day. We can't be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other. We have been doing this for 55 years since we were 18."
The next year the man comes in and asks the bartender for two beers. The bartender, a bit taken aback, places two beers in front of the guy and watches him say "happy birthday, happy birthday!"
The bartender asks "So which one died?"
"No one."
"But you only ordered two drinks!"
"Yeah, well, I've given up drinking."
God Bless
Lionel
Sandy and Donald went into their local pub in great good humour and ordered two large whiskies.
Are you lads celebrating something? " asked the bartender. "
We certainly are, " said Sandy. " We've just finished a jigsaw puzzle in record time. A hundred pieces it had and it only took us six months."
" Six months. But that's quite a long time, said the bartender.
I don't think so, said Donald. It said on the box, three to five years."
A brain goes to a local bar
A brain walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a pint of beer please."
The barman looks at him and says "Sorry, I can't serve you."
"Why not?" askes the brain.
"You're already out of your head."
HAPPY BIRTHDAY
A guy walks into a bar and asks for three beers. The bartender puts them up and then watches the guy go through a peculiar ritual. "Happy Birthday, happy birthday, happy birthday" Each time he says the word he drinks the beer. Then he pays and walks out.
One year later he enters the bar again and orders the same thing. The bartender watches him go through the same ritual. Curious, he asks the bloke why.
"Well" the guy says, "I have a friend in Ireland and a friend in Australia. We have our birthdays on the same day. We can't be together so we have agreed that on this day we will each go into our local pub and have a round of drinks for each other. We have been doing this for 55 years since we were 18."
The next year the man comes in and asks the bartender for two beers. The bartender, a bit taken aback, places two beers in front of the guy and watches him say "happy birthday, happy birthday!"
The bartender asks "So which one died?"
"No one."
"But you only ordered two drinks!"
"Yeah, well, I've given up drinking."
deleted_user
I like the last one the best! Thanks for the giggle!
deleted_user
Good, very good...)
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