I understand a lot of what you're saying...there are things that I know need to be done...I'm just not doing them...I have a mental bloclk to I do believe...someithing keeps me from doing many things....I start things and rarely ever finish them...so yes I can relate...there's times that I get detached from ppl and that's scarey for me..or they will say something and I don't know how to respond and sometimes I don't respond at all...do you ever just not know what to say? It's not that I don't care because I do it's just I don't know what the right thing to say is...I pray it gets better for you my friend...

PS... I don't think I'm lazy. When I find something that interests me, I am super intense about it. I always described myself as a "Get Shit Done" personality. When I played soccer competitively, I easily trained twice as much as anyone else. When I am under pressure to "perform" at work, I can go full speed 16-18 hours/day. I was always a self starter and did things for myself.

It just feels like something isn't right. Hard to describe.

Are you a trauma survivor? Some of these characteristics are very typical of untreated/unresolved trauma. As to some other things: it's just stepping outside your comfort zone and trying things on. You were meant to have a joyful life. I have learned this slowly through mindfulness and a therapy called DBT which incorporates mindfulness practices of eastern traditions with cognitive behavioral skills. Cool stuff.

Chris, let me refine your point a bit if you don't mind. We should act on TRUE feelings and we always have to check those. Acting on feeling that comes from a loving and compassionate place which betters you and those around you is good. Acting otherwise is not so good. We shouldn't act on our perceptions. We should question our perceptions and how we feel about them. I hope that doesn't sound too complicated...

Remember that link that I sent ya. It's gonna take time - nothing happens overnight.

Hugs!

Oh wow Olive, Yes, I think many of us can relate. I certainly can! I didn't have a clue how to live like a normal sober person either!! I was scared to death. I am learning as I go and it's glorious. I have to touch on some of the specific things you've mentioned cause they are/were SOOOOO ME! :)

I don't focus on projects long enough to finish. (I just never started projects, I lived like a disorganized pig and now I LOVE my home and I'm almost anal in my organization! Ask me where a sewing needle is...lol! )

I don't do thoughtful things like bday or holiday cards or even thank you cards. (NOPE! Stopped going cards years ago, NOW I have a box of random cards and send them out all the time! Feels great!)

I don't do phone convos with my family. (NEVER answered the phone, people stopped calling, now I call them)

I hate hearing the news. I hate when people talk to me about the news. (I think that's a good thing! Yes, it's good to be "informed" but when it's full of so much negativity, I think listening to inspiration & happy thoughts are much more healthy)

I can't boring tasks, people, or conversations. (This is learning tolerance...it will come and you'll feel so much better and not near as irritated & anxious! Well, not as irritated & anxious as OFTEN! HA!)

I feel disconnected from people. I don't form close relationships. (I stopped talking to people, I stopped socializing & avoided everyone at all costs, now I actually chit chat with the ups man and fed ex delivery dude at work! I talk to strangers in the grocery store, it's amazing!)

Honestly, working with my sponsor has changed the way I view things and the way I treat people. All of those things that I thought would never "be me" are now exactly who I am and who I was always meant to be. Give it time, do the work, it will happen. (if you build it, he will come) hee hee.. :)

For me the projects must catch my attention....be something I enjoy.

I'm getting better at sending Birthday cards and such.

I don't like talking on the phone much rather talk in person....Though, I make a point of calling my mom at least once a week, just to say hi...do you need anything?

planning my day never works anyhow...just gotta do the next thing in front of me.

I try to practice less perfection, it is really getting easier with these little grandbabies running around my house. Looks like a day-care...but like I said I'm beginning to enjoy the clutter....LOL Priorities have a way of changing.

I don't care much for watching the news but I read the news on the internet each morning.

Boring is really a mind set for me.....I told my sponsor a long time ago that I was bored and she said, "well then, don't be so boring....LOL

I really have some close connections to the people in my life....internet....not so much. I like to look people in the eyes and see what I'm hearing.

howtolive....I really relate to everything you are saying. But I can tell you from my own experience that if you focus on what is wrong instead of what it right.....it has a way of growing.

Hmm. Thanks all. I have just always felt a little abnormal when it comes to living. I do connect with people if I can make them smile. I love to chat people up in grocery stores and such, but if any conversations go beyond the basics, I lose interest UNTIL I know someone. If I can talk things emotional or intellectual, I am golden. It's all the small talk crap and how was your day shit that can't stand.

No Anne, no trauma. I should mention I have been drinking most of my life and had an alcoholic father who was very intelligent but did nothing but work, drink, read, listen to music, and talk on the phone. SHIT, that is me. Argh. I just never saw him get better. Maybe that's it. Wow, that opens up a can of freakin worms, so I'll just say...

Thanks all, esp angel for making me think about what i need to do, hc for reminding me to trust the process, and carebear for reminding me to be patient. Rman, you are right i need to do stuff. problem is i can't get myself to do anything mundane. prayersand thanks for reminding me i am not alone.

What you are describing is the spiritual malady. As we recover, we learn how to do those things, we learn 'how to live'. If we didn't I would have been drunk and therefore dead, a long time ago.

It's a bit corny, but I used to hear people say 'Don#t leave before the miracle happens.'

depending on how long you drank, it does take time. Have patience with yourself.

I can relate HTL. And it did take time to change those cants and donts to cans and wills. Its not just patience needed, but practice. Not all at once, but taking a small part of what you want to achieve, and practicing it until it happens.

Hey, I don't watch the news either, but I listen to it on the radio. I don't write out holiday cards, but I do send out well wishes on emails and texts. I don't always follow my day plan either, that always remains subject to change without notice.

Like Angel mentioned, look at the don'ts long enough, and thats all you'll see. When I read you don't do thoughtful things... I thought rubbish, you gave me a hug the other day, and that was thoughtful. Came just at the right time too. Your doing great.