Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi folks,
First I want to admit that the voice in my head won out on why I should care, it's a crap shoot if I'm going to die from COVID, etc., etc. The virus hit close to home (5 family members, 2 near death, plus a 91 year old mother who I cared for, and now isolated in a LTC). And I know lots of people have worse stories....that doesn't seem to help.
i happened to speak with a real estate agent yesterday, and she is really depressed....she stated she resented that her neighbour is getting full pay and drinking 3 bottles of wine a day, while she can't drink in case she has to show a house. (Jealous) Many people in Canada are fearful of where we are going to end up as a society, we must get back to work before it collapses. The media says we're growing gardens to keep busy....true for some....many like us are doing it for food security.
Now we fear Civil War south of us as the US president tries to muscle down citizens....in my opinion, he is waving a red flag in front of a bull (Melennials).
I know I can control how much media I watch...it's the new COVID lifestyle that I find emotionally exhausting....I do well, stay strong for about 3 -4 days, then I crash into a bottle of wine.
There are no in-person supports available, and "virtual" lifestyle is so, so empty, depressing. We have just started opening up our safe bubbles, and I can at least see my grand daughter once every two weeks.
Sorry for the ramble, but I'm trying to figure out how to replace the "social network" I had built to replace the loneliness that is a factor in recovery. Before the outbreak, I had made friends through attended church again...weekly trips to the library,,...a women's exercise group.....and overnight, it stopped!
So, since it looks like the world is definitely going to have a second wave....(the U.S. forgot about social distancing...)...how does one deal with loneliness in a COVID world? Youtube Yoga feels empty; Zoom family gatherings lacks hugs; you get the picture...you are probably living it too.
How do you keep it all in perspective,...
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Many people with addictions issues are committing suicide (my daughter’s best friend’s spouse, age 46 stepped in front of a train; my daughter’s partner walks around town now with a water bottle filled of vodka...they were friends......she has turned him over to his family of origin, and referred him to Wellness Centre. My neighbour stopped in upset because her friends daughter (age 27) jumped off a bridge in front of a train. All this in one little town....All have the same history......addictions and they can’t take the isolation........These are just a few examples....
So, yesterday my daughter and I talked about setting boundaries for ourselves so that we can focus on our own needs....getting and staying well through this.
I may have to hide under a rock while focusing on my breathing to get to day 30:) No urge to drink under my rock.
Daisy
To create this island paradise takes some effort. We need to spend some quality time with ourselves and come to the place of acceptance.
I’ve been so blessed these past few years after my ‘accident’ to have had a LOT of time to myself. Soul searching is bringing me home to me.
Now the whole world has more time to look at the nature of our true self. But that means being willing to take full responsibility for ourselves. Unfortunately not everyone is strong enough for this. At least at this time.
In the island analogy to inner peace it’s important to see that it’s not an ivory tower that shuts the world out. We are humans who all feel the same and when we really come to know ourselves we can be available to others.
That’s the beauty of it.
Well done on day 17 and talking with your daughter about real life. Sobriety creates a beautiful reality. Or maybe I should say let’s us live in reality beautifully. Cause weather it’s roses or smelly diapers it’s real
You know, I have been checking in on DS for about two years and I was reminded recently that this is (or could be) a community of support. Obvious of course, but I wasn’t putting my energy into it enough. Glad you are here to remind me that we all are in this together even if we’re miles apart.
This is a part of me that is changing. I am a private person and it’s been a little lonely. I have people in my life that I don’t share enough with. Why? It may be a away I perceive myself? Working on changing how I live with the habitual thinking of my past. It takes time and practice to shake off old behaviors.
Anyway, here’s to change:) hope you’re feeling well
I honestly feel that there will be and always is something to stress about. I have depression and have experienced some lows recently. I have to remain faithful and give it to God. A few summers ago, I called my dad crying because the news was so depressing. I quit watching it. I look at general stories through my phone and leave it at that. Truthfully, the media only portrays what they want you to see anyways. A friend works with police and learned about a recent news story that was airing with only part of the story rather than it's entirety. Point is, quit watching if it is upsetting you and keep yourself busy doing something else. I have been sober over 5 years and I no longer have to numb myself or escape. Now I do a lot of walking my dogs, mowing grass, and reading. Find a healthy habit and indulge! Also, never worry about babbling. It is so good to express what you are feeling. Remember that you are never alone! Keep trudging.
So, Sunday...Fathers day will be my “test”....the In-Laws are coming for dinner.....big wine drinkers....their practice is to make sure my husbands glass or theirs is NEVER empty.......and a constant question....”Are you sure you won’t have a drink?.......No thank you, I’m fine.” It’s like an abusive dance.
Other than that, I do love their company....conversations ....catching up in the beginning.......but by the time they leave, my mind is emotionally exhausted....alone with a passed out husband and his loud snoring to listen to.
I strongly believe in family.....and God. It’s the alcoholic generational culture on both sides that is my big challenge.
If every time you connect with a family member, whether in person, or by phone, FaceTime......whatever......the conversation is interlaced with alcohol.....the risk is high.
Going back under my rock now.......it’s where I do my yoga (and breathing).
We can get through this Pandemic together!
Have a wonderful day!
:)
They can’t accept your decision or they just can’t understand? Maybe when they ask you just say no I don’t need any silly juice, I’m silly enough already.
My mother in law loves that I don’t drink. As we’re leaving after a get together she always says to me; you’re driving right? I lost my mom two years ago to alcohol and she hadn’t been in my life for years before that so my mil has been very close for 30 years. She has noticed the changes in me. Understands my conviction too because I’m usually asked to open the wine. And carve the turkey even though I’ve been vegetarian since I met my wife. It’s fine though.
One of the many great little things about my sobriety is that I rarely snore anymore. Unless I fall asleep on my back lol. Which is rare. It’s probably a combination of not being ‘under the influence’ (drunk) and the physical condition I’m in now that I have energy to exercise.
I keep breath-right strips on my night table and my wife will give me an elbow if I do start. They really work
Well with 20 days of self care I’m sure you won’t be swayed. I think if it was Xmas with those intolerably short days it might be different. But it’s the solstice tomorrow and that’s a lot of light to keep us heading in positive directions.
First 90 degree day yesterday so summer is officially here.
Other than our small cluster, everyone is still very nervous about catching COVID.....so, the positive side is there is a nice lull in pressure for many get togethers......
I’m really hoping to solidify healthy habits during this time.....my daughter says I don’t look so tired....I shared with her my abstinence......as you said...role model.....what a motivator!....thank you!
Poor garden has gone from 2 nights of frost to week of scorching draught!.....lots of heat warnings.
Thank you for checking on me....in a small world, it’s tough finding those who find purpose in abstinence.
D.
Nice job on Sunday. I knew you could do it. And telling your daughter. This makes it more real and harder to give up. As my months went by the sobriety took on a life of its own. It is like a little treasure that is close and dear to me. Too precious to just throw away after 31 months of soul work.
I have a large garden 16 raised beds 4x16’ and 70’ of squash, cucumber and sugar pumpkin beds. I couldn’t bear throwing away the thinned out butternut squash plants so I made room in the compost enclosure. Last year the butternut and pumpkin lasted till February with pies and soup every week.
I started too early for the frost kept coming. Then a hail storm when I thought I had gotten through it. Spinach,peas, chard and parsley’s made it though it took a while for them to get the growth boost.
Swimming in greens now. Breakfast and dinner. Ready for those tomatoes and basil.
J
And all I can reply is Ah, I don’t know. But I do when I really look.
Keep up your spirit without spirits:)
All good here.....I cleared out the main fridge this morning....my husband had put wine in it last night...I told him “No thank you”..::and please keep your beer in secondary fridge...:in-laws have reloaded their cottage with dozen bottles of wine and whiskey...:they are having hard time accepting that I’m not available....:I just don’t want to be around the “party” environment.
Am looking forward to when they open up the library and gym, etc.....going for a walk.
Thanks for checking on me.
D.
In laws are my trigger as well. It is not that I want to drink, they drink a steady stream of wine but never get drunk, just when they get that glassy eyed look I get envious. See I can’t have 2-3 glasses. But they are my wife’s parents and we have to get together. I just show up a little late , let all get their glasses full, always have a tumbler, and finally I just don’t drink.
See alcohol is a lie. It makes life dull so it’s not so sharp. The problem was I did not have the Ability to cope because I always just used alcohol, it takes time but eventually I am able to cope with life without booze you can do it too I promise
When I quit I instinctively knew that it had to be for life. That was the best way for me to think. That mind set has made it simple to be around alcohol. Never again is pretty final. Over the winter I remodeled a restaurant and had the place to myself every day. Bar included. In three months the thought didn’t cross my mind. I’m very thankful for this of course and can’t help but wonder what it was that made it fairly easy for me to let go when so many struggle.
The best I can figure is that the fear from my accident (knowing that without all my focus the permanent damage would be worse) allowed that shift to take place. It also put me into an accelerated mid life crisis that forced me to look at my actions and become responsible for them.
Or Mercury was in retrograde lol. Anyway great focus Daisy