If alcohol is causing physical damage, and/or life problems (i.e. work, legal, emotional) then one has an alcohol problem. Short of that one might be considered a heavy drinker and that type of drinking bears a bit of watching as physical ailments can occur and life problems can surface.

it is not your place to determine if your husband is an alcoholic....it is an individual decision to declare alcoholism....you might try alanon instead to learn about dealing with a drunk husband or just how you should be thinking about his drinking....

Hello rummi,

You have posed some good questions to which there are no simple answers. As I understand it, the reason for drinking and the inability to stop when you want to are more important than the amount of alcohol, although that is a factor too.

The trouble is that few active alcoholics recognise the real reason for their drinking. All sorts of genuine excuses will be manufactured and believed but the real reason is that the person has developed an obsession of the mind for alcohol. Such a person may drink every day or could use his or her willpower to stay alcohol-free for weeks or months, at least in the early stages of alcoholism. A person who crosses the line into alcoholism will also develop an abnormal physical reaction to alcohol. This results in a craving in the body for more alcohol once a drink is taken and this craving will lead to many more drinks.

A heavy drinker may at times drink more than an alcoholic and he may even have an obsession for alcohol but he or she will be different to the alcoholic in one crucial area. The heavy drinker will not develop a craving for alcohol and can therefore stop easily at any time during a drinking session. The alcoholic on the other hand will often keep drinking but will seldom have enough.

Your husband may drink the same amount as you do but that does not prove anything. Based on that criteria, he could be a heavy drinker or he could be an alcoholic. However, the fact that he drinks all day, taking sips of whiskey or vodka may mean that he is an alcoholic or potential alcoholic. It looks like he may be drinking just enough to satisfy the craving in the body. I am very familiar with this way of drinking because that was how I eventually drank. I knew how much I would drink every day and most of the time I stuck to that amount. However, alcoholism is a progressive condition so I had to adjust the amount upwards after a period of time and it kept going up until drinking became a big problem. I also hid the truth about how much I drank from other people and if your husband is an alcoholic he may be drinking a lot more than you think. I also drank straight liquor but if I had been drinking weak beer or wine the results would have been the same.

The test for your husband is can he happily go without drinking some days or quit completely for a long period of time? Can he take a couple of drinks, stop at that and not sip anything for the rest of the day? All I can tell you for sure is that his drinking is a lot like mine and I am an alcoholic. Buy a copy of the Big Book (Alcoholics Anonymous) or read it for free online and it may answer some of your questions.

Few normal drinkers will sip whiskey or vodka all day so you are right to be concerned.

For me it became clear when I wanted to STOP. When I stopped, which I did often, I'd obsess about drinking. I'd drink a bottle of wine most nights, and then I wouldnt drink for a month or 3 or whatever. But in that period of time I'd think about it alott. I'd then decide I wasnt alcoholic as I'd stopped, and I'd drink again. I'd start off with a few, then within a week I'd be drinking a bottle of wine again, sometimes more. I never drank before 5 p.m., I didnt have any DUI's, I had (have) a great career, family, etc. I always kept up a front. I was still a miserable alcoholic.
So what is the amount? I don't know. Varies from person to person. But if you want to stop, or think you should and don't., you likely have a problem.

Just the fact that you both argue about it means that you both have a problem with it.

There is no difference in alcohol if it is mixed with juice or you drink it straight. You are drinking four drinks in a short period of time (four shots = four drinks) If you do this frequently or multiple times a week, you might want to look at your own drinking habits.

As for your husband, he might have a problem or be on his way to one. Sipping a drink all day is not a good sign.

For myself, by the time I quit I was drinking a lot every single day. I wish I had had the foresight to stop before it got so far out of hand. But I kept minimizing the problem and putting off doing anything about it until it was destroying my life.

thank you all for your replies. My husband does not drink everyday nor does he have the loss of control when he drinks. In other words we can go to dinner and have a drink or two and call it a night very easily. I dont believe he obsesses over when his next drink will be but I could be wrong.I gave the example that I can have two strong pina coladas in a period of two hours however that rarely happens. In fact I can say that it happens perhaps 3 or 4 times a year if Im sitting by a beach. Most often the scenario is a drink on a Saturday of Friday night with dinner every so often.

Now my husband does drink more frequently than I. He will buy a bottle and drink it in a week like I mentioned and then not drink for 2 to 3 weeks. I dislike his drinking so it does become a problem for me and I often will argue the point. You see I dont allow alcohol in our home so he has to conceal it from me and If I find it there is definite trouble. So he argues his point with me that although I accuse him of over drinking he says he drinks just as much as I over time.

I totally agree with the statement that If im questioning whether or not their is an issue with alcoholism it is most likely the case that it is. What I really wondered was consumption. How much does an alcoholic drinker consume? Is it a bottle a day or a week or a month? Some of you say its not so much the quantity but rather the obsession that makes you an alcoholic. Perhaps this is true and if it is then I would say my husband is not an alcoholic but rather a problematic heavy drinker . To be honest this is confusing!

Hello rummi,

From what you have stated in your latest post it looks to me as if your husband is not an alcoholic. However, if he sips whiskey and vodka all through the day he is probably on the road to alcoholism. Maybe if you did not ban alcohol from your house and he could openly have a few drinks without having to try to conceal it that it would be a healthier approach.

As for consumption, I do not think that anyone can put a figure on the quantity that would make someone an alcoholic. For many years I drank four drinks of a half glass of whiskey and half pint of beer about three times per week and rarely drank more than that. Then I started to keep a bottle of whiskey at home, in addition to the normal drinking and at first, the bottle would last for a week or longer. Then it was two bottles per week, and eventually a bottle every two days. I made a rule that I would make the bottle last for two days (otherwise I might have been an alcoholic according to my twisted logic) but there came a point when I really struggled to leave enough in the bottle for the second day. It was then that the one visit per day to the pub became two visits and eventually three visits, along with the bottle at home. What I am getting at is that alcoholism is a progressive condition and the amount that is consumed will keep increasing as time goes on.

Your husband drinks a bottle in a week and although that could be considered to be heavy drinking it does not necessarily make him an alcoholic. However, in my opinion it does put him in the danger zone. For many people who have a problem with alcohol, the more that you tell them not to drink, the more they will drink. It is better that the decision to take action comes from the drinker rather than through pressure from someone else. As someone else has suggested, maybe Al-Anon would help you.

Hi rummi, based on my own experience ... drinking too much alcohol is gives you a very strong determination to face your fear. In my case, I am very alcoholic person ... and now, after I get my result, the result is it attacts my internanal organ which is truly bad for my health. I was 13 when I learn to drink until now im 22 .. continues drinking of alcohol and taking drugs is very horrible :( and its too painful ....

Thank you Pj54! Your reply is very helpful in my attempt to understand this dilemma. My husband tells me all the time that if I simply stopped controlling him he would not have the need to hide his liquor. Wow, a bottle a day huh? I cant imagine how anyone can function with that amount of alcohol in their system. No, he is not at that place as of now however I do believe you are right in saying that alcoholism is progressive and he sure could be going that way. I will consider Alanon and thank you again for everyones time! God Bless you all!!

If your husband can't go days without booze, he has a problem.
Is he alcoholic? No one here can tell you that.

i knew my drinking was a problem when it started to ruin my life yet i still carried on doing it. i knew it was a problem when i hated it but still did it. There is no definate answer to your question, every case is different.....