Well i too do sweat it sometimes. Its not the booze but the "pleasure" i can see in their eyes... this is a very normal thing. there also may be past things resentments that come up too.. all normal part of life. but today i dont hide in the bottle. dont let the other senses fool you sight ooooohhh pretty thick glass.. sound laugh etc. and dam smell... so to day i try to just not focus on the what im not doing and focus on the what i am doing sure id enjoy the first drink but it would be like a glass chain back to the bottle... f that.. and so just walking out front / garage... etc calling another person somewhere... its all just an illusion and booxe is a drug. a depressant .. and addictive. i Choose to pass on it today...other people can do as they do,,, i have no control o=ver that and so just ask a little prayer for THEM to be happy... you are doingwhat it takes by recognizing and not reacting... good job
1is2many

booze is rat poison to me. It will lure me in and kill me. F that Cheese

get a tumbler / yeti of ginger ale real good stuff from a bottle , add fruit.. make your drink enjoyable , the best is to just enjoy yourself and dont worry about what others think... and ps... this addiction./ affliction is family related... ppl have genes and behaviors and traditions and funerals etc... booze is a drug

Face it, you can't take it or leave it the way other people can. And BTW, how do you know that some of these people don't have a drinking problem? Look out for yourself first; other people will do as they want to regardless. You're better off without it and that's what's important. I like what 1 is 2 many suggests about making your own refreshment and just join in the good time. No one will notice that you are not partaking; if anyone says anything, just smile and tell them you're on the wagon. Simple as that.

If these are people who don't spend a whole lot of time with you then surely they can give up the bottle for a few hours to help you out and if they can't do you that one little favor, if they feel like they cannot give it up for just a short amount of time then they also have a drinking problem.

When I left outpatient treatment, the first thing I did was get rid of all my drinking buddies and replaced them with my new AA friends and I never sweat at all over my times with my new friends.

Your friends are triggers when they are drinking around you. When faced with a trigger repeatedly, you will eventually succumb to that trigger. It's just....a matter...of time.

God Bless

You said it, keeping in mind how much better life is without it. Also really looking at our tendency to find distractions. What are we distracting ourselves from? Thinking that life has to be different or better is the trap. I don’t watch tv and there are times when I realize that I’m bored. Can only read and cook so much. Walk, exercise..... great. It’s also ok to just be ok with being bored. Let some space in instead of reaching all the time for something to fill it up. The beauty of music is the space between the notes too. I often drive in quiet. Just to see the landscape and feel the wind. Don’t need news, music or phone calls. Just the feeling of being there for myself.
I seldom sit in meditation anymore to have this feeling because I give myself ordinary moments throughout the day to calm my mind. Just like the practice of daily sobriety allows me freedom from my old behavior the practice of not needing to stuff myself with distractions gives me a lot of peace.
Who’s with me on this? This habit breaking (imho) is the key to walking away from the pull of all the compulsive things that we pick up. It took time to pick them up so I need to allow time and effort to put it down and keep walking. This distraction seeking is sneaky because we’ve been conditioned all our lives. Wisdom is stepping back and seeing this as a little crazy:) I am slowly making my life simpler instead of complicated and I like it much more this way. For one thing time seems to stretch out. Days feel longer and more satisfying.
Drinking just made it all a quick blur. When I’m dying I won’t regret missing the little things because that’s pretty much the biggest part of life when you look at it. Lose the resistance by shifting your mind into the real world. The one of genuine awareness. A shot of vodka or the chance for a shot at another moment of clarity?

I wish I could say something wise like the other posters on here. The truth is I relapsed a few times this year, and when I go back to digging that hole it gets deeper and deeper. I go on some other boards out there where people describe the consequences of their drinking. I guess I won't go into any details, and a quick search will provide one with enough information. I remind myself that I am like all of those other people. I have something within myself that makes limiting alcohol impossible. I need to not drink at all - that is the only way to protect myself from destruction. Coming on here and posting helps. I was thinking I'd like a drink 15 minutes ago. After typing out a response to your question, not so much.

Loveydovey, you spoke what is true and honest for you at that moment. That is wise. Understand that I am one of those people who just can’t drink has somehow become a strength and not a weakness. When I was a kid I fantasized about flying. I know I can’t fly so I don’t entertain that anymore.

Finallyawakenow, I love reading your posts. I am looking forward to getting where you are. A year ago, I knew I could not drink anymore. But that thought was painful. I felt like I was going to be missing something. You are from New England, right? Well, I loved Rose Kennedy cocktails, and the thought of never having another filled me with sadness. A year later, and a few hills and valleys navigated, I am finally at peace with the thought of never having another Rose Kennedy. I will never do a lot of things, like you said, and that is ok. I think the thing to do is to focus on what I can do, and now that I am in my 40s, to try some of the things I always wanted to do with the space freed up by an absence of alcohol.

That is a good question. My experience was when drunk and around my family, it was always a bummer and they were always greatly concerned at my behavior, so me not drinking around them was always a relief, even if they were drinking.

I think it is important to know that people without alcoholism, unless they have taken the time to educate themselves, or have dealt with someone who has severe alcoholism, won't know how torturous it can be mentally and physically for the alcoholic when they are drinking around them.

I think that is also why it is so important for alcoholism to be an inside job, and also finding a group that can relate to an experience you just mentioned so key.

Some of my family members didn't drink when I was around, out of consideration for me, some of them did drink because they wanted to more than be considerate, some of them like I said before didn't know and may never know how alcohol being around an alcoholic could be torturous. Either way, if I working on myself, treating what is on the inside of me, learning about the illness of alcoholism, and what to do to treat it, situations like this become easier and easier to handle, as I grow and change.

I've only been at this for a few weeks, but as a practical measure, I bring my own drink - it's usually tonic water, or soda water with a twist of lime or lemon, so it feels like an adult beverage, and it helps keep me from feeling deprived.