I am on 5 1/2 months, and likewise, we used to load up the cooler and sit out at the pool and have beer after beer.

Now we know we just enjoy the pool. I made alcohol central to everything I did, breakfast, lunch, dinner, kids' sporting events, work functions, leisure, travel.

Now we just enjoy everything without alcohol.

When I was going through the same thing I had a friend once tell me if you leave alcohol alone long enough it will leave you alone. Of course, I asked when that happens? He said, as long as you don't drink. Social occasions and activities little by little became less connected to alcohol, although I'd be lying if I said the thought doesn't hit me occasionally. At my best I treat it as passing thought. Kind of like a bird flying through my mind not a pet living there all the time. The simplistic AA slogan is Let it Go...So go down to the dock and enjoy the birds of alcoholism flying away...

Slowly get used to it. I used to do nothing without alcohol, especially any social function. It took a long time and now when I think it seems normal, I realize I still do think about it. I thought any event without alcohol was boring. We had tail gate parties at YAFL games, cocktail cheerleader practice for our kids (mom's drinking), dinner out, dinner in.....then it became more than heavy social drinking. I needed an eye opener to keep me functioning in the day time. Scary. I had nightmares about where I had bottles hidden in the house. holly

Thanks guys! The crazy thing is I wasn't even thinking about drinking, don't want a drink! Had a great and productive day! It's just what would have been "normal" for me!! I will be glad when it is what would be abnormal for me :-)!!!

I have a cup of tea now at happy hour time . Still missing it too , but someone said on here, I am romancing the "rat Poison" =) I know, it
was like that for me when I stopped smoking too . Seems like it was 4 years when I finally didn't think about it first thing in the morning. I quit smoking over 12 years ago, and I still dream that I have started again. It was so hard for me to quit, I never want to go through that again!!! I am gonna try to find some fun non-alcohol drinks for summer.

I love my crisp ice tea now. Earl Grey hot in the morning. Last summer I did a variety of great infused waters, mint was just the best. Cucumber water is my favorite has a great scent. Fancy fancy. h

I just watch the thought and either distract myself immediately by doing something productive (playing with my dogs is a favourite) or use EFT to deal with any cravings. I am starting to find on day 10 of my sobriety that I look forward to a cup of herbal, fruity tea now at the end of the day rather than wine and on the weekend it will be a bottle of red grape juice mixed with soda instead of wine - yum!

Hi LN, the strange thing was that although my drinking was a miserable, sick and unhappy affair for years before I recovered, every time I was on another attempt to stay sober my mind would start romancing the drinking.

All the evidence of reality was superseded by some hazy notion of a cool glass of white wine (in reality I chugged neat vodka) on some sunlit late summer evening (when I was more likely passed out or puking).

Looking back I had the delusional mindset of the alcoholic where I could not seem to differentiate the true from the false and I was suffering from a mental obsession with alcohol.

All that disappeared quite quickly as I worked through my programme of recovery. I realised I no longer was entertaining any notion - realistic or romantic - that a drink would be a nice or good idea.

For me it has not come back, although I fully realise I am not cured but so far, so good!

Hello lostnursetoo,

This has reminded me of how irrational my thinking was when I was drinking and during the brief periods that I stopped drinking before going to AA.

I rarely drank in bars that were frequented by sensible people, rationalizing that there was no fun in such places. The truth was that I choose bars where there were other people drinking in much the same way that I was because I would not draw as much attention to myself . When I was not drinking I would picture what it was like in my favourite bar. In my imagination, the place would be buzzing with excitement, people singing impromptu songs, others telling jokes and the barman run off his feet dishing out the magic juice. There would be an odd disagreement and the threat of a brief fist fight before the brave lady who ran the establishment would get between the guilty parties and calm them down or lead them to the door. The reality was that there were very few of those occasions that had lit my imagination. Very often, it was just me, the barman and the drink.

Around this time of year I would start doing a particular physically demanding job outside. At some point the thought came to me that the work would be easier if I had a few drinks before starting. Sometime later it seemed that another few drinks would be a justifiable reward for a hard few hours of work. Later still, I started to enjoy a few cans during the work as well. Eventually, I came to believe that the job could not be done at all without those drinks. I have done the same work for several years now without any drinking and it has not been any more difficult.

I can only speak for myself but I know that without that Twelve Step programme of Alcoholics Anonymous I would still find something romantic about drinking myself to death.

Ln I replaced what I had been relyin on with my existing brain wave action with something far more stimulating for me ,lots of reading, lots of fellowship with others and activities centered around recovery fun, I know of many other men and woman who found this same type of stimulation through reaching out and finding what suits them . For Me it was AA and finding out how it was I had gotten to the place I was at ,,which would continue to torment me unless I found a way to let it be and began to feed myself healthier information based my reality at hand which stunk of me thinking I could figure it all out myself( I know there may be reasons why your not able to do that even if you want to:)) But a decision has to reached before you;ll be able to move forward I Think!!
Billy

It gets better. I just acknowledge the thought and then think of a negative consequence. Usually for me its to remember my liver was about to explode and kill me.

I will say that was my default and I will prob always think of it but as time passes it gets easier time

Good job today. better job staying sober

1is2

Very hard one. I had to change alott of "habits" to stay sober.
One thing that was a constant for me was I drank while I cooked dinner for my family. In early sobriety I was SUPER aware of that time of day...my "witching" hour. So...we ordered in alott, we ate out, my husband even cooked which was a first. Until I replaced that "this goes with that" kind of reaction and was able to again cook, enjoy it, and not with the wine.
I still occasionally have that "a nice glass of wine" thought. I just acknowledge it, and move on. It gets easier and easier and the cravings are completely gone. The thoughts occasionally pop in and I just know that I don't have to act on them.

Practice makes progress!

But go away completely, never to return? Hasn't happened. The smell of red wine in fine restaurants still makes me feel nostalgic, even after 17 years. But I'm not bothered by the fact that I can't have it anymore. It's just a fact of life for me now, and the thought passes happily away. You'll get there.

I think it is just a simple matter of associating drinking with an activity. Kind of like a girlfriend of mine who would pick up her cigarettes and lighter as soon as the phone rang :-)!! Just need to pair my dock sitting with something other than alcohol. And for the record, sat on the dock and just existed. It was awesome!!

Glad you enjoyed your time on the dock!

I agree about mental associations with drinking and drinking as a habit (like sticky and cooking -- that was one I had too.) They are there, but you can make new associations, like you did today when you went to the dock without a drink, and you can create new habits too.

:-)