Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi, Im now 6 weeks sober and feeling good in myself. My problem is my hubby. He is still drinking heavily. He is going through a bad patch at work so drinks to cope with it. He is a very kind lovely person but has such low self esteem. He told me tonight he doesnt like himself and yet worries what others think of him. He didnt have a great childhood and sometimes I think hes quite depressed. I try to tell him the drink doesnt help but he doesnt listen. I dont know what to do to help him. I would be grateful for any advice.
Maybe a doctor would help but doubt I could get him to go.
Maybe a doctor would help but doubt I could get him to go.
It is probable that drinking heavily is making depressed and that if he could quit, even if just for a month, he feel a lot better about himself.
Good for you on six weeks -- stay with it, maybe he will see the light and follow your lead. But if he doesn't, you still have your sobriety and that's pretty special.
(From the Al-Anon ODAAT One Day At A Time)
Pg. 98 Someone says at an Al-Anon meeting: But I must cover up for the alcoholic; what would my neighbors and relatives think of me if I didnt? Another admits that she must make excuses to the boss, lest the alcoholic lose his job. Another goes to work to help pay the bills that should be the responsibility of the head of the household.
Can we really delude ourselves into believing that such stop-gaps will work? Do we imagine they will do anything but prolong the alcoholic agony, since we know the disease is progressive? We would do well to realize that the inevitable collapse may be far worse than if we had allowed him to face up to his own responsibilities and mistakes, free of our interference.
Just Remember
If I take no part in protecting the alcoholic from the consequences of his drinking, and allow disaster to overtake him, then the responsibility for what happens is not mine. I should not create a crisis to bring the alcoholic to his sensesbut I must have the courage to keep hands off and let the crisis happen.
My Prayer
I pray God to help me understand that the alcoholics fate is not in my hands. I will leave to Him whatever action is to be taken, and guard against interfering with the working out of His plan for us.
And
Pg. 196 Wise words from an AA who counsels with families of alcoholics: Yes, the alcoholic can be forced to get sober.
The spouse: But Ive tried everything. He wont listen to reason. Ive yelled and complained, paid the bills, threatened to leave nothing works.
Of course not. This is you applying the force, and that never works. I suggest you stop taking action. The only force that can change the alcoholics pattern is the pressure that builds up inside him when the family refuses to react any longer. When he cant count on your helping him, when you wont assuage his guilt by fighting with him, and you refuse to get him out of trouble then hell be compelled to face up to things. In other words, try inaction instead of constantly figuring out something to do about him.
Just Remember
It is not easy to restrain ourselves from reacting to what others do that seems to affect us. A healthy detachment brings about the very changes we were powerless to make by continually fighting the problem.
God helps those who dont try to take over His work.