Crap! I forgot to mention that this is one of my own key problems with recovery. It would take me all day to explain that, though. Just know it is relevant to my alcoholism and therefore this forum.

you are so right,howtolive,,and being honest with both ourselves and people is one of the hardest things to do,not just in sobriety,,but life in general!! a lot of people do not even know how to begin to be honest with themselves,and others,hell i myself still struggle with it,,but i do know,that the pay off is greater then anything,,great statement,,,amber

This post reminds me of when Sarah was small... I told her several times that she must behave. She got very angry and asked me why. This is how I explained it to her, "Because Washi when you do something nice for someone it feels good for about 5 seconds and then it goes away. BUT if you do something wrong it stays forever and those things are called regrets. The thing about regrets is they pile on your head one after the other until you lose your face in shame." She behaved after that.
To me "Unto thyself be true, and it must follow like the night the day; thence thou canst be false to NO man" Means to be as good and kind as you can to yourself and others... if you deal fairly with all then the regrets will not burden you and weight you down. I can only be true to myself when I deal fairly with others... That may be just me. I don't know. xxoo Angel

Well said wingedwolf,,and your leaving the board,,oh I think not,,lol...amber

Hmmm... I gotta stay. I have to keep fighting no matter what. Keeps me sane. (LIKE OMG! Did she just say she was sane? NOT!) lol

I would really like to post something meaningful and elloquent on this thread of my gal Olive Oil but alas, my thunder was stolen by the winged one.

I, as an alcoholic am a liar. I am learning to be honest with myself, and with others. I am learning...

Big problem for me too, Anna. I am so used to beating the tar out of myself that I can't even believe I'm a good person when I hear my kids have said it about me behind my back. (o; Those are the things though that make me smile and feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Those are the times that make me want to give myself some TLC, because why the hell not!?!?!

I'm starting to feel more love these days for myself BECAUSE I'm allowing love in more. Anna, you have taught me so much about How To Love in the short time we have known each other! It makes me feel so blessed, and it makes me want to take you by the neck and choke the love IN you that I want you to feel for YOU!

Girl, you've helped me turn around and see myself and be myself in a short amount of time, and I thank you for loving me enough to teach me how to be better to myself. When I do that, I feel I'm beginning to know myself and be truer to myself.

I love ya, girl!

If what I wrote doesn't make sense or I've repeated myself it's because that girl howtolive would NOT shut up like I told her to in chat!!!!!


(o;

Be the best that you can be. "to thine own self be true. Hamlet? A Father speaking to his son. My interpretation is Dad saying don't listen to gossip or compare yourself with others. Don't set yourself or them unrealistic expectations. Have integrity, and be the best that you can be, for you. I love this little poem...

"Be the best that you can be
Pursue your goals persistently
Make your fondest dreams come true
and most of all believe in you"
Anon

Being honest with myself is the hardest thing - i can be totally honest with everybody else, in fact i have become the world's worst liar, used to be the greatest, but still to myself it's a struggle, i do it and you should see me going at it in the mirror - i then laugh at myself . i am honest with myself MOST of the time, and when i am not it does come back to bite me in the butt - and then i tell myself - well had you just been honest you wouldn't have to deal with this - so suck it up and deal with it - lol.

Peace!

Angel - loving the avi!

"Know thyself"
In recovery I know I will spend some considerable time alone.I need to learn to be ok with this its normel in every life at some stage
"To thine own self be true"
In sobriety and recovery honesty has been an amazing gift.I didnt realise how much of a deceitful lieing life I had spiraled into in order to maintain active alcoholism Discovering I am instintively an honest person is a great relief

How2Live,

I TOTALLY agree that honesty is very important to one own recovery! BUT, honesty is only part of the total package. Some people use honesty in sobriety like they used deciet in addiction...to hurt everyone around them.

All back to motive. What drives a person to do what they do? I spend a lot of time in meditation trying to understand myself and what MY motives are.

Good post though!
Wayne-