Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
What a awful day.
Forgot to take my camporal, coming up to a trigger time for me then went to my mothers.
My mother is not a kind or gentle woman, as a child I was put through a lot of mental and emotional abuse.
My younger sisters had little of this but were regularly beaten for their transgressions. Beating would be from either my mother or father and included kicks, punches and the use of belts and whatever else was around. Marks and bruises were frequent.
So, while in my mums house this topic came up, one of my sisters said it about the beatings with belts - my mother denied it and called her a liar, another sister said it happened her too and was also labelled liar. I then confirmed to have witnessed it and my mother began a tirade against me - claiming I was telling stories and putting seeds into their minds - which i have never done. I have shared what had happened me but only when they were reminiscing too.
so she challenged me on what she had ever done to me - I came right out and told her 2 specific things the worst being that she told me when i was young that my dad and his sisters wanted her to abort me and even had knitting needles there to do it, and she was the one who saved me. A hateful thing to tell to a child. Well she denied it, told me I was sick etc.
Well, I left with my sister to do other stuff, when we returned I figured Id be the bigger person and go give her a hug.
Huge mistake - she'd been saving more ammunition.
Now my mum has always been a huge trigger for me, and I admit - the thought was really crossing my mind.
Plus I had my partners 2 little ones. So I phoned him and asked could the kids go as I wasnt in a good place to look after them.
So now - here I am, pissed off royally. I just wish when it started that I could have seen it was high risk and got the hell out of there. Ive taken the camporal.
I'd love a drink right now, but i know it would be a mistake.
My partner keeps alcohol (not my type) at home, Im debating if the greater victory is to open and bin it - or ignore it.
Gah - sorry for the vent, but it had to come out somewhere.
Forgot to take my camporal, coming up to a trigger time for me then went to my mothers.
My mother is not a kind or gentle woman, as a child I was put through a lot of mental and emotional abuse.
My younger sisters had little of this but were regularly beaten for their transgressions. Beating would be from either my mother or father and included kicks, punches and the use of belts and whatever else was around. Marks and bruises were frequent.
So, while in my mums house this topic came up, one of my sisters said it about the beatings with belts - my mother denied it and called her a liar, another sister said it happened her too and was also labelled liar. I then confirmed to have witnessed it and my mother began a tirade against me - claiming I was telling stories and putting seeds into their minds - which i have never done. I have shared what had happened me but only when they were reminiscing too.
so she challenged me on what she had ever done to me - I came right out and told her 2 specific things the worst being that she told me when i was young that my dad and his sisters wanted her to abort me and even had knitting needles there to do it, and she was the one who saved me. A hateful thing to tell to a child. Well she denied it, told me I was sick etc.
Well, I left with my sister to do other stuff, when we returned I figured Id be the bigger person and go give her a hug.
Huge mistake - she'd been saving more ammunition.
Now my mum has always been a huge trigger for me, and I admit - the thought was really crossing my mind.
Plus I had my partners 2 little ones. So I phoned him and asked could the kids go as I wasnt in a good place to look after them.
So now - here I am, pissed off royally. I just wish when it started that I could have seen it was high risk and got the hell out of there. Ive taken the camporal.
I'd love a drink right now, but i know it would be a mistake.
My partner keeps alcohol (not my type) at home, Im debating if the greater victory is to open and bin it - or ignore it.
Gah - sorry for the vent, but it had to come out somewhere.
I have been in those sad shoes of yours in connection to your mom with both my parents. I'm so proud for you having the wisdom to not pick up alcohol. The book "Toxic Parents" Reed recommended is excellent advice. I know what you went through was horrible. You know the truth and that's all that matters. I would stop arguing with your mother and pray for her instead. Forgive her. Dang I know that's hard. I'm giving you this advice and I still have a problem with doing this. Just don't let your past and her lies hinder the great girl you are. Don't let it control your happiness and recovery for today. Just live in the moment dipso. Let God help you love yourself and put YOU first.
I was there to pick up a sister to help her with stuff at her new house.
I go to my mums about once a week and am always very vigilant about when the atmosphere can turn dangerous.
I forgot my meds, because I forgot them - i have memory probs, but since yesterday Ive put a strip of each medication into my glove box.
As for the kids, they love hanging out with me, so they had stayed overnight and their dad was working.
Ktharp - it didnt sound harsh, I prefer straight talking. And I have learned from yesterday and put steps in place to minimise it.
Mike - I plan on taking meds for the first year on my docs advice. After that no meds. As for the crap that needs dealing with I am doing it with the help of those very close to me, a rehab clinic, self awareness and knowledge.
As I said AA is something I may try.
Triggers - I have had a lot of CBT so I understand and believe in them.
Thank you for taking the time to respond and share your opinion.
Coogee, you are so right. I am changing, which is why I was able to move forward yesterday instead of slip back.
This place and people like you guys give me strength when Im feeling vunerable.
I wish peace for all of us who had similar experience, I believe it truly shapes you for the rest of your life. The trick is to take control back.
For many years I thought i drank because of an abusive relationship, i thought i drank because i was depressed... That wasnt true, I drank because that was how i coped.
Now I cope in other ways. Just like many of us here.