Hello. I know. It is so damn hard!
My hubs had to quit for three months and he was able to go back to light drinking with no problem.

I don't think that is going to work for me.

Last evening I had him hide the booze in his truck and take away my keys so I can't go get more.

I am feeling lousy and scared. Good luck. We have to BELIEVE we can do this.

Aww good luck to you too. We can support each other. I can never drink a small amount once I start I keep going. I really want to stop now.

Same here! Last night I had hubs pour me ONE strong cocktail and hide the rest. I slept better than I expected to but I cheated a little.

There were a couple of liquer bottles left. Awful tasting stuff but I snuck a few hits on them during the night.

This morning I confessed and poured the rest of it out.

I am lucky Hubs is being very loving and supportive.

Hello hati,

Good to see you back.

You cant quit and you are drunk all weekend and you say I can never drink a small amount once I start I keep going. I am afraid that those are signs of alcoholism and that you may be in denial about the reality of where you are with drinking. Until you are prepared to be honest with yourself and admit that you have a real problem you will continue to struggle. Forums like this can offer you support but that alone will not get you sober. In fact, such support can sometimes be like enabling as it allows you to kick the can down the road one more time and postpone the inevitable.

I am sorry to be blunt with you but as I see it you have but two choices. You can struggle on as you have been doing and get progressively worse, with bad consequences for you and for those who care about you. Alternatively, you can face the reality that you cannot drink safely and then put everything into getting sober.

The starting point is to understand where you are at right now and then to look at where you would like to be. The video at the link below will give you VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION. Then you can decide. I hope that you will choose wisely.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pVBDQPC2XQ

hati, first of all hi! Long time no see. I related to telling us that you pretty much stay sloshed on the weekends.

I used to be an avid runner when I was drinking. What kept me going was knowing a cigarette and drink (vodka), waited for me when I was done running. Like I was operating on some kind of warped reward system.

I earned every hangover I ever had. Dancing to the music and always paying the fiddler. Never called in sick due to a hangover, etc, etc. It took me 26 yrs to get to AA. I was 37 then. I likened myself to Humpty Dumpty because I was so broken inside.

That's not my life now. I'm still married to the same sweet man as when I was at my worst. Our 2 kids who were 8&12 have grown into awesome, accomplished, compassionate adults. I'm able to laugh at myself. Laughter is always abundant. You deserve a shot at this kind of life. My prayers go out to you and all those trying to stayed stopped from drinking. Hugs, Dianna

I pray you get sober hati. Time to make new memories......sober.

Giday H, know what you mean about not knowing if I was and alcoholic or not. Know this was the crux of me getting sober. Till I knew my truth about me the lingering doubt would always get me drunk.

Whilst getting sober I heard a lot of stories about people being alcoholic and they shared stories of car crashes, breakdown of relationships, goal/institutions, bankruptcies etc etc etc. I had not yet seen these things and they kept me doubting if I was an alcoholic.

It was not till I read and listened that I heard what made me an alcoholic is when I put alcohol in I can not control how much I drink. All of the other stuff is the drama. For me is was simple because I could not control how much I drank once I started to drink I am an alcoholic.

Know this simple truth allowed me to find a solution.

Wishing you the best G8

hati...I hope you find your way...you have realized it is a problem now...so that is the first step as you know.

Keep coming...I love posts and I love to post...so the more the merrier...

Thanks everyone I needed to hear the truth. I quit AA when they booked me into do the chair and I didnt want to do it. Also I had a sponsor but she cancelled everytime we were meant to meet. Pathetic really to just go out drinking again!

I have always said I don't think it matters whether you call yourself a alcoholic or not. If you know it is making you sick and or making your life he'll in some other way you know you need to quit and that's the bottom line

Its not pathetic...hati..its a real travesty...that's all.

I quit AA one time too because they wanted to travel to so many commitments and were basically making me feel if I didn't go on EVERY one..I would fail. So I quit and drank too.

And I always refused to "chair" even thou they said you shouldn't and I did end up going to AA anyway and maintaining 8 years sobriety at one time.

Give it another chance...set you boundaries..stick to them and when asked to do something your not comfortable with...just say what works for you...may not work for me? I PASS.

Well hati, how 'bout we make this our new mantra? Failure is not an option! We are going to DO this!

Yes that sounds like a good mantra. Thankyou everyone you have all made a lot of sense to me especially the one who said that doubting they were alcoholic kept them drinking. That is so me. I would listen in AA and think well Ive not done anything that bad praps im ok to drink sensibly. But clearly being drunk all weekend and annoying my family means I have a problem.

Welcome back- you should utilize every possible means to support your effort.

If AA wasn't for you, for whatever reason, I urge you to seek other ways including this forum.

For me, I am still struggling to maintain any significant length of sobriety and it completely frustrates me to the point of wanting to give up. But someone with almost 30 years said to me- keep trying, Peg. We are hard wired to drink and it doesn't go away overnight for most of us.

Peace to you.
Peg