Please don’t feel guilty or question your feelings about having to care for your mother. These are very legitimate and normal responses for those who have loved ones with addiction problems. Al Anon is a great resource for the families of addicts and I highly recommend their support if you have a local meeting. I’d also speak with your father about possibly coming up with a third option that doesn’t require her moving in with you and your family. Perhaps continued rehab or an inexpensive apartment may be more appropriate until your mother comes to term with the consequences of her addiction. Wishing you the best and please stay in touch. I’m sure others here will have more ideas as well!

I have been through this with my own parents. There is nothing you can do to stop your mother from doing what she wants to do. Sometimes, the threat of a divorce is all the motivation they need to quit, but not always.

No matter what happens, the worse thing you can do is hold on to any guilt over it. That's what happened to me., I tried everything to get my own mother to stop drinking and nothing worked. It negatively affected every decision I made in my life because the subconscious mind sees it as, "I'm guilty and I deserve to be punished"! That's pretty much what I did for the next 30 years. I almost didn't make it myself.....So don't do that to yourself.

Eventually, I went through treatment for my own addiction to drugs and alcohol. Luckily I made it because I was motivated to get the help I needed to stay sober.. I lost my wife, I lost my job and all my friends. I had no place to go and I was broke. I had to hit a low before I was willing to do everything it took to stay sober.

You need alot of support for yourself and Alanon is a great place to find support. You can google meetings in your area or attend them online from the comfort of your home.

https://al-anon.org/

In the meantime, we will keep you and you mom in our thoughts and prayers.

God Bless

Thank yall so much for the encouragement. Not much has changed since yesterday. I told him he was enabling her because when she ask for more alcohol he gives it to her. I'm sure he is tired of fussing with her but that makes me mad he gives it to her and then wants to divorce her because she wont quit. He has a problem too his just isn't as bad but he wont admit it. I called her to see how she was doing and he answered the phone, said she was asleep. I said well I was just checking because she said she wasn't going to drink today so i wanted to see how that was going. He said apparently not well and then she picked up and said she was fine. She did not sound fine. I am not blaming him at all. I am sure he is not happy and I cant blame him for being tired of it but I do think he needs to stop enabling. I wish I could just step out of it and let them sort it out. My mom has been through so much though and she really is a great mom so its hard to just watch her suffer. I wish I could have my sober mom back. It is like she isnt the person she used to be. I dont want to give up on her. I feel like my mental state is so fragile and I just dont know how much I can take. My anxiety is so high and when it flares up I get super depressed. I am a praying person and I know God has a plan but it is so hard to understand and get through this stuff. I will look up Alanon. I am sure we probably dont have anything near me but I guess that is one blessing of covid and people doing alot of zoom type things now. Trying to find a bright side! :)

There is another group here that you might be interested in. It's not very active but it could be beneficial for you to read some of the posts:

https://www.dailystrength.org/group/adult-children-of-alcoholics

Again, good luck. I hope you can find some peace.

God Bless

Both my parents developed serious alcohol problems in their late 50s. Their 60s and 70s were filled with one binging episode after another, medical detox after medical detox. Two very responsible parents, great people, but somewhere something went very wrong.

Try to get your mother to search for “Abraham Hicks and Law of Attraction” on YouTube. You should listen to a few videos yourself. Being in touch with your vibration and source energy can help you find the wisdom to make the best decisions on your situation.

It’s extremely tough watching your parents destroy themselves, my heart breaks for you. There is a gift there though, you are getting to see up close just how horrible it is to live like this. My experience with my parents was a tremendous help in my making the decision to take responsibility for my own alcohol addiction at 39. Since then my life has been amazing.

Try to get your mom to come here and find other forums like it. She will find people just like her who changed their lives and are grateful to listen and offer guidance. Then one day she may be the one helping someone where she was, and I can tell you that is the greatest feeling ever!!!

Choose Freedom, Choose Never Again!

Puckchaser