Good for you. Thank you for sharing your strength and hope, people like you keep me sober. Get your support. Stay strong, stay sober. You CAN do this, you are NOT alone.

Good to know you came through that trial and that you are reaching out for more support. Whatever the method of recovery chosen, no man or woman can seem to manage it without the support of other people who have "been there."

I second what was already said! Really great that you made it through this challenging time with a clear head and have realized your support group could be helpful to you now. Way to go!

Good job on getting through that dipso. It's amazing how our brains can decide to play down any bad things that happened!

Drinking isn't the sloution to our problems ,acceptance is the solution good that you are learning this.

Dipso,

Fighting with anyone I love sets me to wanting to run to the drink most times. I can't stand the pain & frustration of arguing with someone I love so I just want to get numb. But drinking only hurts me and them in the worst way.

I'm so glad you didn't drink girl. Remember that when you want to get drunk & say "fuck it to the world", we are really saying fuck it to ourselves. Done it so many times. I know I'm worth more than that and so do you. I know it! xx

Just keep trying, one day at a time.

your an alcoholic, is their any other denial problems you would like to share with us !!

I have such compassion for you. When you're thinking about taking that first drink, follow that thought through to its natural conclusion. Picture yourself drunk, sick, baffled and demoralized. This is how I handled it when I glamorized or fantasized about picking up in early sobriety.

Emotional relapse involves the kind of thinking you're describing here. It's just one step away from physical relapse. Scary stuff. *hug* I'm so glad you're posting about it here. Keep up the good work! Just don't pick up that first drink.

Thank you to all the positive posters. Great advice as usual.

Intralegacy, Im not sure what the purpose for to yours though.

Dreaming, you summed it up perfectly. Bato, Thanks for the idea of viewing myself drunk.

Good to hear you.

Two passages from the big book come to mind - I know you are not paryicularly keen on AA, but you may find them informative:

Men and women drink essentially because they like the effect produced by alcohol. The sensation is so elusive that, while they admit it is injurious, they cannot after a time differentiate the true from the false. To them, their alcoholic life seems the only normal one. They are restless, irritable and discontented, unless they can again experience the sense of ease and comfort which comes at once by taking a few drinks-drinks which they see others taking with impunity. After they have succumbed to the desire again, as so many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again. This is repeated over and over, and unless this person can experience an entire psychic change there is very little hope of his recovery.

And:

The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.

Oh and this is quite apropos too:

Therefore, the main problem of the alcoholic centers in his mind, rather than in his body. If you ask him why he started on that last bender, the chances are he will offer you any one of a hundred alibis. Sometimes these excuses have a certain plausibility, but none of them really makes sense in the light of the havoc an alcoholics drinking bout creates. They sound like the philosophy of the man who, having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he cant feel the ache. If you draw this fallacious reasoning to the attention of an alcoholic, he will laugh it off, or become irritated and refuse to talk.

I am happy that the alcoholic inanity did not run its full course this time for you.

Good for you for recognizing & not drinkin. Fighting with loved ones was a big one for me too. I would run to the nearest bottle of vodka to cover that icky emotion.

I'm having to learn to handle anger now, something I've not known how to do as a grown up. It's hard, but it's worth it to me. Never thought I was a fighter, but I'm finding strength I never knew I possessed! :)

You must have learned some valuable tools in your recovery thus far...you felt like drinking, you recognized your feelings, and you clearly articulated them to a support group. That's excellent! You won this time, and you will do so again.

Thanks again everyone, HUW I appreciate your examples. They are very similar to what i ve learned in my support groups.
My only difference of opinion is that I believe I am not powerless over the first drink, I believe i am powerful and strong enough against right up until it goes in my mouth and then im pretty screwed, because if i have one, i wont stop.

If that was the same thing you were saying then oops :)
I fully believe the onlt thing that can make me drink is me, the only thing that can stop me drinking is also me.

But the decision is a bit of a bitch. :P

Holycrp - love the avatar - happy st paddys to you, its my first one sober ever.

well done.......very proud of you x