Oh, and my husbands still has a couple of drinks in the evening. He's in a great mood and it really makes me angrier.

Hi there!

It sounds like a what AA refers to as a "dry drunk" JustBeth. I tried to white knuckle this about a year ago on my own and held on for about 5 weeks before I seriously crashed and burned. I got to where I had to have a drink first thing in the morning and drank until I went to bed. I sometimes had to drink in the middle of the night to get back to sleep.

I was sorry to see that your husband still drinks. I recently spent some time with my adult kids and we went out to dinner and they both ordered drinks. I just know that I can't do it. It is poison for me because I won't have a couple- eventually I will be back to where I was destroying my own life.

It can be hard if one focuses on what they miss (the feeling of drinking) so I have to consider and focus on what I gain by not drinking. Life eventually gets better and better without alcohol OP. I hope you can find some support out there.

JustBeth.....Give yourself a pat on the back for a sober week. My husband doesn't drink so I dont know how to console you there (I did enough drinking for him & I ) But I do understand the "grouchies" Your body and mind are trying to adjust and process thoughts and feelings without alcohol, this passes pretty quickly when you start seeing and feeling the benefits of being sober...ie...no hang-overs, mental fog etc...I would just tell your hubby that you are not trying to be a grouch but your having some struggles and to not take it personal. A good funk relief for me are things like...tea and hot bath, time with a close friend, being outside in nature...Dont give up, dont give in...you'll feel better b4 you know it! hugs....
Pegrat...you sound alot like me.....

Its really hard to be around someone who is drinking/eating what you cannot. UGH. So maybe you could find a movie, book, friend, craft, etc to occupy yourself with while that is happening? Make a list of why you are NOT drinking and put is somewhere like your pocket or mirror and focus on the GOOD THINGS!!! You gotta RETRAIN YOUR BRAIN! :) Your grouchiness will disappear as the alcohol leaves your brain and it retakes it normal sweet shape. You made the RIGHT decision!! GOOOD FOR YOU YOU JUSTBETH!! :) HANG IN THERE!!!

Are you sober because you want to be or have to be?

I'm an AA and when I say my name, I also say "And I haven't HAD to drink since Oct 16,'92. I had to change the language I was using with myself.

What else about me did I have to change? Everything.

You don't have to drink if you don't want to. Hang in there. And could you ask your husband to have his couple of drinks in the den or living room rather than right in front of you? At least until you get a firm grasp on sobriety?

We are at are must vulnerable in the evening. I remember seeing it somewhere that 17 hours without sleep is like consuming 2 to 3 drinks. So as our waking time adds up, coupled with the stress of the day, and perhaps suspect eating habits we are primed for feeling emotions stronger while simultaneously having our judgment impaired just a bit.

When the grouchiness hits, better yet before it eat a nutritious snack around 7pm. Then if possible a 10 to 20 minute period of relaxation exercises...(I.E. DD says: things like...tea and hot bath, time with a close friend, being outside in nature. etc....)

Yes that was when I wanted a drink too. My witching hour. It was a little earlier...like 5 PM through dinner. If I made it past dinner time I was fine.
My husband is a social drinker. I've seen him drink countless times while I didnt. Doesn't bother me at all.
I've found that AA offers a substitute that really works. I'm still grumpy from time to time --- that's human. But I don't worry about my husband's drinking a beer or a glass of wine at dinner.
In early sobriety I'd go out for a run or a walk during my witching hour, or eat some food, or listen to music. A meeting, calling a friend, also works wonders.

It's time to learn insight meditation to discover what is making you grouchy. You need to look inside for the answers.

I was an angry sober person until I learned Vipassana meditation

Your problem could just be physical withdrawal. It takes 2 weeks to a month of sobriety to get past that. Bear with it. It's worth the trip.

Very similar to me. My wife has two glasses of wine at night and early on I would resent it big time. I would hate to hear the ice chink in the glass. The glug glug of the pour. And I don't even like wine. But I can't drink. It's just the genes.

Sooooo I asked her to just keep the noise down. Ie place the cubes in and I still hate that glug. Glug but I just remember how bad I was. I remember running out of beer and having to drink wine. F that s. It's rat poison to me.

Hang in there, it will get better

1-2

Thanks for all the support. My husband is really good about not drinking in front of me.... but i KNOW. If I can make it past the first two weeks I'll feel so much better in the evening. My days are much better already.

Hi JustBeth1975... That's pretty normal. In early recovery I felt like every nerve was exposed. Took a while for things to calm down. I think this is why it can often seem so difficult to quit drinking.

The only way through it is through it. Think of it as an opportunity to better yourself. You have the power! :)

1is2- the real sin is putting ICE in wine...!

Right, DeliAnnem the ice takes up too much room...