Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have been a drinker for 20 years. It is hard to turn around a behavior pattern so ingrained. I am a binge drinker, though I gap it out to every 4 days or so. I recently had a 5 month sober streak, but then the Covid business & our lives turned upside down. Alcohol turns me into a complete idiot. I drank on July 31 & took my clothes off while making my way to my bed as i made my way thru the house. This isn't some sexy thing, this is drunk blackout stupor of a 45 year old woman with kids in the house who would not care to witness my paunchy mom body moment. I can't handle how restless i am today, how that little voice is there that i can make my anger and stress go away with a bottle.
I am blessed that my husband quite drinking years ago. He hates me drinking, yet he can be hard to endure with his mood swings & ptsd, which is a trigger. I am telling myself i just need to get through the day. I have vowed to make it through August sober but I hit a wall at 2 weeks. I am jumping out of my skin. I am so short tempered. I am also sneaky. I think I can have some secret drinks & no one will know. That is total bullshit, as I flush almost instantly when i drink & my husband is a human lie detector & knows if I've had just a beer. I would like meetings, have been before, just leery of trapped groups indoors right now w the pandemic.
I am having a hard time believing in myself that i can make sobriety a permanent change. I was so wicked sick the last time i drank, i threw up on myself & spent a bunch of money i couldn't afford. I don't know logically why anyone would voluntarily put themselves through that. I had, like, a 4 day hangover. My heart skips, I'm dead tired, I'm nauseous, I'm super bitchy & lazy. I hate myself for the embarrassment I've wrought & my pathetic lack of will.
My brother lives here & he is unemployed & has given up on his life. He almost had his leg amputated & has nerve pain & can't sleep without getting plastered every damn day. He is an easy excuse for me to jump ship & throw away the relationship i am rebuilding with my children & husband. He has chosen to drink himself to death, and it becomes a viable option for me when things are toxic in my marriage.
Sigh. Whoop, there it is. These are my thoughts as i try to make it another day sober. One day at a time i guess.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
You put some real sober days in so your Will is not pathetic. That self that did that is the real you. The ego that wants to check out and hide is not. Yes, I know learned behavior is difficult to shift, but that’s when we believe that our past actions are who we are right now.
Thoughts come and go and we are still the same person. The strength of will comes in by resisting being swept away by them. I mean they’re only thoughts, random feelings, desires.... so fleeting.
You are not these random things. Remember that you are a being of conscience, aware and awake and that you have the ability every second to create what you want. Do you want freedom from alcohol? Then have it.
I’ just had my 33rd sober month and I can say that all the excuses I used to give myself to have another drink were all lies. It didn’t take away my fears, my anxieties, my lack of enthusiasm for a good life. It made all those things much bigger.
What makes my life better is building my mental health. Every month that goes by as a sober man gives me a stable grounded place to stand on.
I was a hot mess when I finally saw the damage my drinking had done to my life. The task of pulling myself together seemed impossible. The little voice wanted to say: ‘yep, too big, might as well drink and forget about even trying’ But I had had enough of that giving up and decided to start changing. And it wasn’t that hard. I made it very simple. A walk every evening, drink plenty of water, eat three healthy meals, brush my teeth (with floss) twice a day, no tv.... Just changes that I could do. As the days went by I slowly realized that I was going to be ok.
So can you. Take care of yourself. Touch your toes, raise your arms, walk up stairs like you want to be a stronger person. These little intentions are the key to reprogramming your mind. Want to live a healthier life and you will find that you are.
The option of watching it go by like we’re seeing our life through a tv screen is a horror that should shock us all awake. Sadly it often doesn’t.
Picture a bell ringing loudly next time you crave a drink. So that you don’t slip back into sleep.
If you can't stay sober to improve your heath and make your own life better then at least do it for your kids.
Do everything it takes to stay sober. Go see your doctor and get into treatment if your doctor recommends it and gives you a referral. You will be glad you took that step because your life will get better, like mine did. 12 years later, I run a successful business and I have never been happier.
Keep us posted. You will be in out thoughts and prayers.
God Bless
On July 9, 2013 I walked into an aa meeting. That was over 7 years ago.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
You can stay there or decide to change. Alcoholism is not something to fear it’s actually what saved me. I was a hardcore addict and sounds like it’s in you and your family.
You have a couple of choices. Drink or work on yourself so you don’t have to hide from yourself anymore. Best of luck,
1is2many.
Again thanks because last night I started to think about a drink, but I’m an alcoholic and there is nothing but the empty bottom of the bottle to fall on if I do.
At least you recognize anger and stress are factors. Go to AA and let someone who has a working knowledge of how to recover help you.