Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi everyone, I am not new to DS, but to this group. I start drinking 8 yrs ago when my marriage became abusive and now 6 years after my divorce, I am still drinking every night. I drink a half pint Ever night, sometimes more. When my ex had my kids, I sleep til noon or later. When I have them, I wake at 7 am to get them to school then sleep for several hours before I need to pick them up. I go to the liquor so often, I rotate between 6 stores to make my drinking less obvious. Liquor stores close at 9 pm, so 8-8:30 is hell for me. I try to not get liquor, then start panicking that I should go, shouldn't go for so long that I end up leaving my house to get vidka "just incase" because I'm scared to not have it in the hiuse. Half the time I drive to the store, I am hating myself. I don't wirk and my drinking is stopping me from looking for work. I am so strapped for cash, yet spend $45/week on alcohol, and worry that my kids will figure me out. On top and f that, my dad is a serious alcoholic and I hated him for it all if my life, yet here I am, still judging him, but being like him at the same time. And my ex, who I always told that I thought he had a drinking problem, has now been sober for 1 1/2 years. And I'm drinking my life away every day and don't get help even though I know it is killing me.
Just skip the liquor store tomorrow morning and try to go to a meeting.
There is a lot of help out there, that's basically free and a support group of millions everywhere you go.
AA is portable. You can take it with you.
Can you do this?
You do have choices. If going to an AA meeting sounds intimidating, calling their hotline may help.
If you live in a big city in the States, there are a lot of meetings.
Also there is a site called, in the rooms.com. They have online meetings on recovery.
If you don't want to go to a face to face meeting. Which I personally haven't attended a face to face but plan to very soon. You can try online AA meetings. I have been doing those and I haven't had a drink since I started Nov. 3rd. Go to (www.intherooms.com) Great for meetings.
What have you tried so far?
Good luck. Keep coming back. I love this site for support.
It looks like you are stuck in a rut and will need to motivate yourself to get out of it. Very often, a person with a toothache will suffer for days because of a reluctance to visit the dentist but when the pain gets bad enough they will make the dental appointment. Likewise, you need push yourself to take action in order to banish the pain and reclaim your happiness.
Nothing much will change until you put down the alcohol so that would be a good starting point. I used to make a decision to get sober but it was always going to be tomorrow or next week and needless to say, that didnt work. Therefore, I would recommend doing it today. It may be difficult but you can do it if you are willing to put in the effort. If you find that it is as struggle to do it on your own you can find help and support through Alcoholics Anonymous.
I see from your profile that you are struggling with self-worth issues and once you have put down the glass you can get help for that too. There may be a lot of life issues that you are bunching together into one big bundle of worry that looks impossible to untangle. The way to overcome that is to start with one thing and leave the rest aside. If I was in your place I would start by not drinking today and going to an AA meeting.
Start off by staying sober for TODAY, no matter what happens or how you feel. Do the same tomorrow and one day at a time the sober days will add up. There are some great books available on mindfulness so get one and read it between 8 and 9.
If you struggle to stay sober despite your best efforts, do not be afraid to do whatever it takes. I had the exact same feelings about walking into a roomful of strangers and admitting that I am an alcoholic. In fact, I was so nervous and confused that I mispronounced my own name. The thing was that all of those people were there for the same reason and they did not judge me. In fact it was the welcome that I got that convinced me to go back the second night and those strangers are now my best friends.
Your therapist will help with a lot of things but may not understand alcoholism in the way that another alcoholic does. Do not feel ashamed because if you are an alcoholic you may be suffering from an illness. It is not a case of a bad person trying to get better but a sick person trying to get well.
How are you doing? It's 4p pst and 7p est. Did you make it through the day? As for going to a meeting, instead of fear of knowing someone there, imagine the relief of walking in and knowing someone in the program.
They will have been through the first few meetings, Like you have, and can help introduce you to people who can help.
I hope you are well.
Again, your responses mean the world to me and I wish others have brought you as much hope as you do to me.
The first six months i sat there and didn't meet people, shake hands, nor get involved.
But around the 7 month, I got a sponsor, started working the steps, and began to be a part of the fellowship.
Life is incredible now and I have dealt with some difficult stuff in that time.
One suggestion is If it is physically possible is to go to meetings a little away from your neighborhood. Or go to a womens meeting. I remember walking in on a meeting full of men and women and it freaked me out so I went to a womens AA meeting and I felt safer there.
I know it seems like I am pushing AA but in reality until you find a support group you are comfortable with, AA has meetings everywhere and all you have to do (if you can) is give a $1.00 for your expenses.
Hugs.
You are on the right track so keep moving forward even if you fall back a little.
Cnut the Great, more commonly known as King Canute of Denmark was reputedly a man of great wisdom. He used his efforts to control the incoming tide to demonstrate to his subjects that man had no control over the elements, explaining that secular power is vain compared to the supreme power of God. An alcoholic who tries to control alcoholism is similar to someone trying to regulate the tide both efforts are doomed to failure.
Eight years ago I found myself drinking without control and it was affecting my life and that of others around me in a big way. During that time I held down a responsible job, paid to put four children through college, stayed married to my wife, never got a DUI, was never hospitalised for drinking and the list goes on. Yet, without a shadow of doubt, I was and am an alcoholic. I loved the effect produced by alcohol and would have given anything to continue drinking. However, I could no longer control it and efforts to do so would have been similar to trying to hold back the tide.
After learning why I drank in the way that I did and what would happen if I drank again (For an explanation, see video link in another thread: Acknowledging I Need Help), I had two choices and a simple decision to make. I could continue to fight against the reality that I could not drink safely or I could accept that reality and do whatever it took to get sober. The former course was doomed to failure and the end result was likely to be the loss of everything that I held dear, up to and including life itself. The latter path was not at all attractive to me either as I desperately wanted to keep drinking. I am independent by nature and dont like being told what to do so I believed that I could fix the alcohol problem in the same way that I had successfully tackled many other issues. Despite my best efforts I failed and drinking got even worse than before. At that point I accepted that I could not do it on my own and very reluctantly, I went to a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous. That was 7 years ago and I have not taken a drink since.
I have observed many people both inside and outside of AA who have successfully recovered from alcoholism and many others who have struggled or failed. I have attended the funerals of some who lost the battle and the saddest part was that it didnt have to end like that because there is a solution to the problem. The Serenity Prayer sums it up pretty well:
Got grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change.
There are very many things that I cannot change, ranging from wars and famine in foreign countries, the forced emigration of family members, what other people do or say and my lack of control over alcohol to mention but a few. Acceptance is the foundation of recovery from alcoholism.
The courage to change the things I can.
It takes courage to admit that you are no longer able to control your drinking and even more courage to do something about it. Walking into an AA meeting requires a lowering of pride and a degree of humility. But seeing other people who have overcome the same problem that you have leads to belief that you could do it too. Belief is the cornerstone of recovery.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
If I think that I already know it all or if I judge something before knowing the facts, it will be impossible to learn anything new. Therefore it is important to keep an open mind and to listen to the opinions of other people, even those I disagree with.
I have no right to tell you what you should do but I can tell you about what has worked for me. You have an important decision to make. Are you going to try and hold back the tide and live with the consequences or are you willing to do whatever it takes in order to get sober? If you choose sobriety you may have to ditch some pride and to ask for help. There may be short term pain but the rewards are unbelievably great. It is my hope that you will look back a few years from now and think of this as the time when you began the journey to freedom.
Billy
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VZRRd4bW91c