It will always happen eventually if the mental aspect of alcoholism goes untreated.

What are you going to do differently this time in order to stay sober?

Well I am not totally sure, Nicky. I'm just not sure.
I do realize that I talked myself into this.
Guess I'll just have to talk myself out of it.

PM me if you would like to. Happy to help if i can.

If you could actually do that you would have done it long ago I suspect. What makes you think you are still in control of this??

Get to meetings and work the steps, it will help tremendously.

Right now I am experiencing the throws of either short-term withdrawal or long term. My heart already pounds at 6am. I'm too old for this shit. I have a road trip planned. I'm going to stalk Julie and Jim.
HAAAAAA

Well I just hope you do healthier things, get to meetings they work, they really do. If I were you I'd concentrate more on helping yourself to get in a better place. Take care.

If I could be put to sleep for 3 days, that would be wonderful.
The feeling of my blood flowing in every vessel of my body is unnerving. Drives me crazy I tell ya.
Well...I had 5 months and 20 days that no one can take away from me and I'll get back. You can be guaranteed I'll be back on track. God has been so good to me it blows my mind. I just so wish I couldn't feel the blood flowing thru my veins while I'm awake.
I hate it.

call a counselor if you can and talk to them, sounds like you are in a very bad place or if you have a sponsor talk to them immediately. Michael jackson wanted to be put to sleep and you know what happened to him. Avoidance of problems is not the answer, but learn from the detox that is what keeps us from drinking, detox is not easy but worth it. I don't know if you are drinking right now or not but I do know it sounds like you are not in a good place. Take it from me who has liver disease, you do not want to let alcoholism take you over. Please get some help and have a good night.

At no time can you ever think you've got this licked. It's not what you did, it's what you didn't do. Keep persevering Katie. xxx

It will only get better, keep bustin it up. Love and Hugs Randy

Sorry to hear about this, Im sure you know that we cant beat this on willpower alone. Hope you get back on track soon

there was always the curious mental phenomenon that parallel with our sound reasoning there inevitably ran some insanely trivial excuse for taking the first drink. Our sound reasoning failed to hold us in check. The insane idea won out. Next day we would ask ourselves, in all earnestness and sincerity, how it could have happened.

does that sound familiar WhooHoo?

it does to me,and that is what happened to me so many times in the past.My mind changed and i drank.It comes from the obsession we have to drink,and we lose every time,we always drink unless we get some help .

Just wanted to say to you that relate to what your going through.I relapsed after 3 years of being clean & sober.It all started innocently enough(LOL!),I was right in the middle of a bad year, but was having a good day, and thought a beer would help me relax.I really enjoyed about 1 hr of that "buzzed' feeling, then the next few months I slowly descended into a personal hell.I was having audio hallucinations,puking up bile,and waking up at 4am with generalized fear that felt like a heart attack,crying non-stop,smashed my belongings,etc,etc.It was truly insane.I am now convinced that this is a progressive disease.At 40, my mind and body just can't handle the mental and physical beatings anymore.~So, on Jan. 15th of this year,I sobered up.It was hell the first week.I really thought I was gonna die of a heart attack.~But, here I am some 8 months later(one day at a time), clean,sober,somewhat sane(lol),I slept peacefully last night,and I'm excited about the day.I learned a lesson from this relapse, I got "spanked",and did not enjoy it one bit.~Just wanted to let ya know your not alone.~Lesley.

Oh Katiebug..I hate to hear this. What was going through your mind before you did it? I'm curious just cause we were close in time....did you think you could just have one or two or did you say "screw it" knowing full well where it would lead?

I can imagine how you feel, I know how I would feel if I drank now, I'm sorry love....you did it before, you can do it again. We're here for you sweetpea!