It's the new year, AA in January is as jammed as he gym. Just listen and identify ppl who you can relate with. After the meeting walk up, shake their hand and thank them. That will separate you from the herd.

There may be greeters there. Everyone had a first meeting once, was scared shitless, and was afraid of seeing ppl they know. If you get some time, you will go to meetings in your town hoping to find others you know just like you.

Just recently a woman came to my meeting. We went to HS together. Not only that, our daughters play on the same HS sports together. I could tell she was scared to see me. But women there rallied around her telling her it was safe and that I was an active member who works a good program. I could see her relief that she knew someone that was like her.

Let us know how it goes.

Aw, huge hugs to you, Irelynd......

It's ok to be scared - most people likely feel like that when they are anticipating the unknown of their first meeting. And as far as breaking down crying - you wouldn't be the first or the last to do that at a meeting. A lot of emotions come out amongst those groups. Let the tears flow if you need to:)

The people that I met at AA were amazing. I don't think you'll be there very long at all before you are feeling you are amoung friends.

Thanks for the words of encouragement. I drove there using my GPS. It took me to a very bad part of the town, which made me even more nervous. When I reached my destination, there were so many cars and people out front that I freaked out and kept driving. There are several more meetings listed for today, and at least a dozen in my area every day. So, I will try again. I'm not giving up!

You won't be the first to do the drive by thing either :) - it's okay, wherever you are in the world there's AA meetings going on and people summoning up the courage to attend, just like you - and just like me when I went to my first meetings. People understand what it is like and I'm sure will treat you with empathy and kindness. Walking into that first meeting led to my recovery, there is always a helping hand.

I remember sitting in the parking lot and not going in. Then drinking for another 2 years. It wAs when a seed got planted. I would remember watching a guy walk out and get in his car. He looked all clean and had a nice suit on. I will never forget thinking I wanted that.

I finally went to a mtg in a church. Also in another town b/c I was afraid of going in my town. Afraid somebody would know me. It was all fear driven. That's how I used to live. That's where booze wanted me. Afraid of my own shadow.

Not today. I finally got the courageous and went. I took my last drink that day in June 12. AA finally offered me a souution to my problem.

But, remember...nothing changes, if nothing changes ...

Go take the reigns to life and start driving again! It is possible

1is2many

Hello Irelynd,

This can be the turning point in your life so keep with it. Many people who went to the first AA meeting would have had similar concerns but later discovered that their fears were groundless. It took me five months to get to a meeting that is two miles away because I had imagined so many negative things about it, none of which turned out to be true.

You could also contact the AA General Service Office for your area and they can put you in touch with a female member of one of the groups who could either bring you to a meeting or meet with you at the venue.

Grasp the nettle and you need never look back.

Here's a way to look at it. Much easier to blend in a big meeting than a small one.

It's ok. Keep us posted on the meeting you choose today. You will find a lot of meetings are different (even the same meetings day to day)

It's a journey for sure.

Just go. Once you get into the room you will not feel alone. At least I never have / did. I went to my first meeting a few miles down the road but might have well have been in another universe. I didnt know anyone and I went alone. I didnt tell anyone I was going. I told my husband after I went.
Just remember everyone there is exactly where they need to be; you too. Everyone in AA is there to get or to stay sober and once we get sober; to pass on the message of hope to newcomers. Hopefully that is what you'll find at this meeting. Enjoy! Very exciting to be taking that first step.

it happens to more alcoholics than you would think...they get scared to walk in the doors....I did not remember hardly anything that was done during the first meeting I went to....but they were going out dancing afterwards and I got scared to join them and did not get to second AA meeting for nine more years about I guess....long time....happens but do not drink for nine more years to get lower down the scale of how bad it gets before we get here....join us soon!

You are already braver than I will be. Some of the folks I know that are in recovery got to the meetings after going through medically monitored withdrawal.

First times at anything can always become stressfully intense. Use your strength, imagination & desire to walk through this first time. It's a thought experiment of hope & victory over the demons that exist only because we enable them.

Stand a little taller, take a deeper breath, open that door, and walk into your future with love & confidence.

I think I was scared my first time but there's really nothing to fear. You sit in a room and listen to others speak but you don't really HAVE to say anything yourself. I was called on to speak a few times but I sumply said,"I prefer to just listen tonight, thanks" and that was that.

There's a lot of helpful things about AA but I don't like the negative, self punishing attitude many members take on. Example.."I was such a self centered person and I still am and The Big Book refers to us alcoholics as Psychopaths because drinking is such a self centered thing"......blah blah totally unnecesary self chastising. I try to ignore all that and listen to more helpful insights.
Good luck:)

I hope you were able to go to a different meeting. As others have mentioned, I'm certain you were not the first person to do a drive-by :) Please let us know how things turned out.

Ire, what happened?

Bump... Ire?

I also hope you are okay Irelynd, people do care in this community.