Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Getting old sucks

PinkArzora
PinkArzora

Good morning to you!!! I am here in solidarity with Texas as our furnace quit last night so buying extra space heaters turned out to be fortuitous. At least we can plug things in to heat rooms, so Texas has the prize for most tragic situation.


I am happy to report i am another year older and another year creakier. My bones..should i worry? I am at an age where they really push mammograms on you. I actually had one on my 40th birthday, which was memorable but no fun. It felt like that was what my foray into 40 should be, you know? Like, this is gonna be your future. Adjust.


Meanwhile, having made significant gains to making sobriety stick for good, i thought there would be a reward in the form of better health. I thought pounds might magically melt. They compounded.  Legit, though, I cook a lot. I make soups and casseroles, sushi, stir fry, stews.. I wouldn't say that we eat poorly as home cooking is where it's at. I will say that as a forever alcoholic who chooses not to drink, i am apt to go for the sugar as substitute. You got cola bottle gummies? Gimme.


Thing is, I have developed arthritis that i believe was triggered by an IUD, and now it's my reality. It SUCKS... It really sucks. Now that i am a more seasoned 40 something, it is harder to to get my body to just feel solidly good for a stretch. I need more momentum. I miss the gym where i can get actual cardio instead of blowing out my knees thinking my plump body can handle jacks. It cannot. Jacks plus giant tits, no bueno.


My younger son has also plumped up while doing online school and trapped in his room ALL THE TIME. I take care of my dad who had a stroke, plus my husband whines all the time. There is some attitude that my presence must mean, as a woman, i want every minute of my reality micromanaged by the males around me. Some days i want to sucker punch at least a couple. FFS could you just step off and give me some space!!!


Anyway, getting old sucks. My stamina has succumbed to the immense gravity that i had effectively ignored till this decade. I don't have what might be described as a retirement. I have debt. I am terrified how we will pay for anything or if we can leave anything to our sons beyond our tragic financial burdens.


These are the thoughts of a person who has maintained an immaturity by burying her head in a bottle and is just now facing real adulthood. Can i be a grown-up? Can i schedule this mammogram? Will reality ever be fun again? Screw bills and taxes. I don't want to grow up. I'm a Toys 'R Us kid!

finallyawakenow
finallyawakenow
Happy birthday and congrats on your continuing sobriety. I often feel like this with the maturity and the gravity of avoiding stuff for so long. However looking at ourselves in this honest light is SO mature. As long as we don’t beat ourselves up with it. Ya we FU but those past actions don’t have to follow us anymore. Of course the feeling will linger but it does fade. Trust me on this. I will actually go as far to call myself an adult now. Every responsible decision I make cancels out a poor one from the past. Example; I gave up coffee last spring because I didn’t like feeling that it had a hold over me. Every fall when Starbucks does the pumpkin latte I would ‘treat’ myself to a few a week. This fall that didn’t happen and it finally hit me that (with tips) that little indulgence was costing me 20$ a week. I can’t afford 80$ a month not including all the other random coffee stops. What was I thinking? Not like an adult that’s for sure. It just takes time to reboot the old behavior.
Stay strong and your life will come together.
Shiney
Shiney
Happy Birthday, I love the peace that getting older brings, knowing that I control how I feel about myself & get to make better decisions now that I am older. The chaos has stopped, and I find that being sober mixed in with maturity equals a far better life than the one I used to have. I still have the little kid inside of me, getting older doesn't mean we have to be boring old farts - we can still have fun, be stupid, dance around the house with pretend microphones, it is just a state of mind. Embrace it, and just be you, who cares how old you are x
1is2many
1is2many
Yup you said it
PinkArzora
PinkArzora
Just want to say your cockatoo made me smile. I had a parrot as a little girl. He was a Blue Fronted Amazon. I feel such kinship with parrots. I miss having them in my life.
Shiney
Shiney
We have cockies everywhere where I live, at one stage I had about 30 on my deck..................my favorite is the one with one eye, comes everyday for his bread snack, he always shows me his eye to tell me it is him, as they all look the same :)
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