I went to NA.

I am not in AA so I have no advice on getting a sponsor. Just wanted to drop and say great going on five days!

At around five days I had a glimmer that I might actually be able to live sober -- good stuff.

Good work on 5 days. Its a day at a time thing. They add up and so does recovery!
I was "given" a temporary sponsor. I worked with her for a 3-4 weeks until I got the courage up to ask someone I related to. I just called her. She has 28 years, has sponsored many, is a mom (like me), is married and has been for years, and seemed totally down to earth, funny, and wickedly smart. And she is all that. I wanted the serenity and sobriety she has, and so asked her.
Its serious stuff getting sober and staying sober. Go to meetings.Listen to shares. When you hear someone you admire, and you want what he/ she has, ask them. Remember its a HUGE honor to be asked to be a sponsor. Its like the ultimate compliment so don't worry about asking. I know its scary, but its the program, we are all there for the same reason, and everyone who is a sponsor, has asked someone to *be* their sponsor when theytoo were a newbie:) It works. Don't question it, just do it!

I had similar fears about getting a sponsor. It sounded like a horrible proposition. I have had two the first one didnt work out for various reasons but the second one worked out really well and it turned out that all my fears and worries were unfounded. Remember it is not a lifetime commitment, you can end it at any time, that thought made it less scary for me.

I would say listen out in your meeting for someone who seems happy in their life and sobriety, who talks about the 12 steps program and big book and most importantly talks about practicing that in their daily life. The most important role of a sponsor is to take you through the steps so you need someone who can do that. And of course you dont need someone who can show you have to be miserable you need someone to show you how to be happy and free in sobriety so if thats how they sound then thats a good start.

I would say dont rush in terms of asking the first person you bump into at your next meeting but dont delay either and try and get someone as soon as possible. I know it doesnt sound good to you but the sooner you have someone helping you with how to stay sober the better.

When you see someone who you think would be good, just go up and ask or ask for a phone number, call him a few times and see how it goes and then ask.

My experience was that it took a little more than a year for me to feel comfortable asking someone to be my sponsor. I did a lot of listening to people share at meetings, and I chose someone who made sense to me when they were sharing.

When I asked him, he didn't give me a resounding "Yes!", but we talked every other week for a few months. Then I felt/decided our sponsor/sponsee relationship didn't seem to be moving forward, so now I am looking for a new sponsor.

I don't know if my story is unique, probably not. My suggestion is to take some time and attend several different AA meetings until you find the right person.

Misterjones. The best way to pick a sponsor is to consider one of the guys who gave you their numbers. That tells us who is really working this program. If your sitting on the fence about your disease you need to take some action. If nothing else write down the pros and cons of drinking. Has drinking ever solved a single problem?. Are the negative sides of drinking outweighing the positive?. Are you a better man as a result of drinking?
Of couse we were all skeptical of opening up to a sponsor but in the same token we know we need help. A sponsor is nothing more tan a teacher. Someone to guide us through the steps. No where is it written that you have to bear your soul to another individual until you are ready, Learning about the program of Alcoholics Anonymous and how these steps will change your life should be where your main concern lies. Take your time get to know your sponsor but now is the time to do something. Now is the time to take some action. Welcome to the start of a life beyond your wildest expectations. Greg

Hello misterjones,

There is no harm in relaxing and waiting for a while until you find your way around. Having a sponsor at this time would bring some advantages but I think that you can afford to wait for a while.

There is a honeymoon period which should carry you through for now and enjoying the meetings is a good starting point. You will meet nice people but they wont necessarily have what you want from a sponsor so take your time and listen out for the right person. In the meantime make use of the telephone numbers and go to different meetings.

Eventually, you will need a sponsor if you wish to progress your recovery to a new level. Listen out for people who share about the steps and who seem to live their lives according to the suggested principles. When you think that you have found such a person, just find a quiet moment and ask. Dont be disappointed if the person says that he cannot sponsor you because there can be many reasons for this and it has nothing to do with you. Just go and ask the next person on your list.

Dont be fooled (as I was) by thinking that you have done the first step on your own. There is a lot more to it than the sentence on the scroll that hangs on the wall. This is the only step that you can do perfectly and it is vital that it should be understood before you move on to the next. Failure to do so may mean that the rest of the work is a waste of time.

Being a bit scared is normal but a good sponsor should put your mind at ease. It is a two-way process and he should be as honest with you about himself as you are with him. One of the side benefits of doing the steps, if you put your heart into it, is that you become much more outgoing as a person. Fears that are now holding you back will begin to disappear and you will become more interested in other people and be at ease in their company.

At the beginning I did exactly what you are doing now. I went to meetings and enjoyed them. I did however become sold on the AA thing very quickly and decided that if I was in, I would become involved as much as possible. That meant doing small things like helping to put away the chairs, arriving early at meetings and leaving late, talking to newcomers etc. Eventually, I was encouraged to share at a top table and that was a big turning point. I did a few tables after that and confidence grew with each one, even if I did talk a lot of crap.

What I would say is enjoy the meetings for another month or two and then start thinking about a sponsor. Then the work starts but you will enjoy it even more.