Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
In early days of recovering I was speaking with my sponsor and we were talking about the words used to communicate.
My sponsor spoke about the need to listen to the message and not the words being used. My sponsor talked about not missing the beauty of the forest because of a couple of ugly trees. Ie don't miss the important message because of a few poorly chosen words.
This discussion for me has also evolved for me to try and use words that help others to recovery. I try to take on myself to try and not use words that can cause barriers. My sponsor has termed that as 'aggressive' terms.
Another thing my sponsor spoke about that put up barriers is telling people what they have to do. I know the only way I can help others is to share my experience and that is all I can share. Anything else for me is just opinion which in the end of the day is not me helping.
G8
My sponsor spoke about the need to listen to the message and not the words being used. My sponsor talked about not missing the beauty of the forest because of a couple of ugly trees. Ie don't miss the important message because of a few poorly chosen words.
This discussion for me has also evolved for me to try and use words that help others to recovery. I try to take on myself to try and not use words that can cause barriers. My sponsor has termed that as 'aggressive' terms.
Another thing my sponsor spoke about that put up barriers is telling people what they have to do. I know the only way I can help others is to share my experience and that is all I can share. Anything else for me is just opinion which in the end of the day is not me helping.
G8
Thanks posting
I also don't have the right to tell people what to do. That is like saying I know what is right for you and the truth is I don't. I only know what works for me. Just because something is true for me doesn't mean it is true for you.
My sponsor often uses the phrases "have you thought that......" or "have you thought about......". It allows her to make suggestions but leave finding the answers to me after having something to think about. It always worked really well for me and I liked the gentleness of it.
I like that concept of aggressive words. I especially try not to use words or ways of saying things that sound confrontational or seem likely to make people defensive.
P
I have had to consciously practice listening to improve at it.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I9AvJXmmhCA
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Oxqw60EZcBY
I can never win!