Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
So I am 39 years old and until a few weeks ago I was 2.5 years sober from alcohol. During that time I sucessfully weathered a lot of challenges to my sobriety and I grew mentally, physically, and spiritually. Then in February, my partner of 23 years revealed an emotional affair he'd had for the past three years.
After this reveal he told me that he wanted to be separated, wanted nothing to do with me, didnt want our marriage, etc. He's also an alcoholic and he was not sober during the 2.5 years I was which created a massive divide between us on its own.
I started drinking with him. I don't really know why. At first it seemed like I could moderate. I think I was trying to feel connected to him. I was hurt and desperate and it overwhelmed me. I got pulled over while with him and got an OWI (DUI) - my first criminal charge of any kind. He was good and supportive and we have the financial means to hire a lawyer although it may have serious repercussions for my job as I have a high level of education, licenses, ethical considerations in my field, etc. I don't know what to do. My drinking continues to get worse and I'm noticing that my behavior is becoming more and more like it was before - lying, hiding, manipulation. My emotional state is chaotic and I'm more and more anxious and paranoid.. physically I'm bloated and feel sick to my stomach from the toxicity of the booze. All the old things about addiction I thought I'd overcome. I don't think I can do this on my own anymore. I need help to figure out how this relapse happened and to get back my hard won sobriety. Very afraid of where I'm heading.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
Sorry to hear that you are in this difficult situation and hopefully you will soon have better days. As I see it, there are two issues to deal with and you will need to grasp the nettle as neither is likely to go away.
The first thing that you need is a clear head so that you can navigate the marriage difficulties. I would suggest not making any rash or hasty relationship decisions until you get the alcohol issue sorted out first. Drinking is not going to fix the problem or ease the pain so concentrate on getting sober. You cannot overcome addiction to alcohol in the sense that a couple of drinks are always likely to bring an alcoholic right back to where they were before no matter how long they have been sober. Put the cork in the bottle now rather than tomorrow or next week. If you are struggling, I would suggest going to AA meetings where you can get face to face support from people who will understand.
Once you are free from alcohol and thinking straight, you can evaluate your relationship with your husband. Why does he want a separation? Would marriage counselling help? Do you need to accept the reality that the marriage is over and that it would be better to move on?
Regardless of how things work out with your husband, you can regain the mental, physical and spiritual growth that you had before. Put yourself first and be prepared to do what it takes.
The promises usually begin to come true after an alcoholic has worked through the steps thoroughly and begins to apply them in their life. When it says that they will be “fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly” it means that the AA Promises will happen, but the time frame in which they present themselves are different for everyone. These promises will always materialize if the alcoholic works for them. This means that if you are working the twelve steps to the best of your ability and are as honest as you can be while working them, you will receive a spiritual awakening or experience, which then leads to a total personality change. I copied the above paragraph from the Watershed Treatment Program site. https://www.thewatershed.com/blog/what-do-the-aa-promises-really-mean
God Bless
1is2many