Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Friend of an Alcoholic

Melismarie
Melismarie
Greetings,

I am not the alcoholic or an addict. However, I lost my boyfriend last year to alcoholism at the young age of 34. I will post this in the families and friends of alcoholics group also, but thought this group could help too.

My friend Mike, who was my boyfriends best friend, seems to be struggling with many things. A couple years before my boyfriend died, he lost his father and then a month after my boyfriend died, his wife served him with divorce papers.

He is spiraling out of control very quickly with drinking. And, our last attempt with helping someone with an addiction didn't help. My boyfriend had all the support in the world. He a sober social network and did the 30 day in house rehab program. Obviously, did not work.

Mike moved out of his house, living at his work. He works all along on an agricultral farm. Sleeps all day. Barely eats. He was addicted to drinking opium tea, but I'm not so sure he still isn't doing that. The other day, he couldn't find his car keys so he just started takes shots of jack directly out of the bottle because he was so upset about not finding his car keys.

Any suggestions on how to help him? He has the same support group that my boyfriend did. And, even as much as I learned through that time, I still have no idea what to do and how to help him move forward. Any ideas would be great!
ginateresa
ginateresa
Suggest counseling for him? Truth is, you can't help him unless he wants to help himself. I'd be willing to bet that he doesn't even think he has a problem at this point?
PJ54
PJ54
Hello Melismarie,

It is difficult to help someone unless that person wants to be helped. Your friend Mike is struggling and is drinking more in order to try and cope with life but drinking will only add to his difficulties.

When a person gets to that stage, a sober social network will rarely be enough and a stay in rehab will only help with detoxing. For such a person to stop drinking (if he is an alcoholic) something more is required. If Mike cannot stop drinking on his own willpower and cope with life without the aid of alcohol or other substances, he may need to undergo a process that leads to a radical change in his way of thinking. Where he finds the help to do that is open to debate but many find it at Alcoholics Anonymous.
stickywick
stickywick
There is really nothing you can do to help him outside of offering to take him to an open AA meeting. You can attend open meetings too.
If he doesnt think he has a problem, there isnt anything anyone else can do.
okiyoe1
okiyoe1
Reality is very frightening without out any skills cept Alcohol and drugs to numb it out..the need to change needs a want to be different or a epiphany to see reality in whatever form that might present a opening to see your own personal desperation....lots of ways pick one and see how a bystander can present a different light to anothers reality I warn you it very tricky business for both parties Alanon and Adult children of Alcoholics meetings and the literature on symptoms being displayed (by Moi..Me) helped me to see things very differently that concerned how I interacted with others in at times a unhealthy way even when I thought it was healthy... oh I was sober too damn lol:))

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ore6K3ESTLc
1is2many
1is2many
Don't prolong his bottom. Let him hit it. In a strange demented way the alcoholism is getting him attention. Just offer to take him to a mtg. That and say a prayer for him.

I will say that it has helped me to read this tonite. I don't want to forget the pain the inability to cope.

I will pray for you both tonite

1is2
deleted_user
deleted_user
You can get out more help from best rehab centers. It offers many programmes to recover from it with better treatment and medication. They needs to be motivated towards their future, their employment all these are becoming severely compromised. The most important part to keep in mind on recovery process is to need support from friends and family. it really helps to recovery your addiction earlier.
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