Hello iacceptme,

Not sure about the percentages but here is what has worked for me.

Before I ever went to an AA meeting I knew that I was either finished with drinking or booking an early grave so I choose the former. I had no real belief that I could do it as I had tried very hard to stop and had failed but there was no other show in town so I went to an AA meeting.

Once I accepted that I could not drink, I set about doing whatever I needed to do in order to get sober. That meant being willing to listen to things that I did not agree with and it meant swallowing a lot of pride and asking for help from a sponsor. Having an open mind is a good start.

I have always had a fascination with education and learning and here I was in the university of life, with the entrance fee well and truly paid through years of alcoholic torture. Although I did not necessarily believe in AA at the time I did have a certain fascination for the whole thing. Without making any conscious decision about it I fell into the habit of helping out in small ways at meetings little things like putting away the chairs, doing a table when asked, talking to new people etc. I found that if I went there with the attitude of giving something no matter how insignificant, I left with a lot more than I had given.

A suggestion was made to me one night by a lady friend in that noble and low-key way that suggestions are sometimes made by people in AA and it went something like this: Youre long enough fucking about now so get in there and get yourself a sponsor and start doing them fucking steps. How could I refuse such a suggestion? Another suggestion I heard later was: Dont look for a sponsor but listen for one. Someone cannot pass on to you what they do not have themselves so a sponsor should have a good knowledge of the steps and very importantly, should be trying to live life according to the suggested principles.

Since that time I have had the privilege of passing on to several other people through sponsorship that which was freely given to me. As with giving rather than demanding at meetings, I always come away with great rewards when I try to sponsor someone else. I also keep learning something new each time.

The Steps allowed me to restore contact with the spirit and to fill that inner void that I experienced all of my life. Previously I had to have me in the centre but now I try to put something spiritual there.

Therefore, to try and answer your question, the biggest change came about for me through a relationship with a higher power and through discovering that the spirit lies within each human being. Through resentment, fear, harm done to others and many other things I had erected a barrier between myself and that inner spirit. Through the steps I was able to tear down that wall and restore contact with the spirit.

I go to meetings a couple of times per week, not out of necessity but more out of gratitude. If those people who came before had stopped going to meetings after they got sober, I would now be on the scrapheap of life or dead.

If I was not the long posts guy I could sum it all up in a few words: Accept, Believe, Decide, Take Action.

Well for me meetings were always helpful but they did not stop me drinking. Fully accepting Step 1 and then working through the rest was the life saver and haven't wanted to drink since. These days I try to help others, still go to a fair few meetings and have a better, more spiritual way of living. Higher Power is 100% most important to me, the rest follows.

Hi. I have no idea what % helped me. All I know is I tried therapy, I tried moderation, I tried quitting on my own, I tried self help books, yoga programs, vitamin therapy, etc. You get the idea. I could get dry but not stay sober without feeling nuts.
In AA I've been able to stay sober a day at a time and enjoy life greatly. My life isnt perfect, nor is every day a cake walk. But its amazing what is possible in sobriety and what I've walked through so far sober.
I wish you joy in your journey.

Thank you so much for this post!
I am not an alcoholic but have family members who are and I needed this so much right now.
PJ54--your post really hit home. I have always believed in God or higher power but now I truly feel the only solution is 100% spiritual...for me 100% trust in God to bring the addicts to the place they need.
I do believe that one of the addicts will lead the way for the other in my family.
There is already AA involvement but I believe the true impact of the steps will happen.
I mean it and I feel it.....Peace.
God bless you all.

I wouldn't apply percentages, but in my opinion the following is what has worked for me in priority and practice:

AA meetings - I attend 4-6 per week. Hearing from others in recovery has helped me immensely.
Using the tools given to me- anytime I have a craving or encounter a potential trigger, I pull out one of the things that I learned worked to keep me sober in the past. Sometimes it is as simple as reminding myself that I have this disease and the primary way to treat it is to not drink period.
Higher power- I had a tenuous relationship with "God" prior to coming to AA so I struggled with this concept at first. I learned to asked for help in staying sober, being a better person and being grateful for my life and sobriety. Then just listening to what the next right thing to do should be.

I am working the steps but in my own way and at my own pace. I have a sponsor who works with me at this pace and who has double digit years of sobriety. She is patient and kind as well.

I hope this helps you or someone else reading it. This ain't a disease for sissies so I throw everything I can at it.
((( hugs )))
Peg

I think what helped me the most was the fellowship because as a Alky and a child of a Alky I had acquired many personality traits in just learning how to survive long before I had a drink.

So in my observation mode and spending a lot of time with others in fellowship I found both a commonality and a better compass on which way to focus my attention:))

Oh and all the things Sticky talked about I. utilized after getting sober and finally knew beyond a shadow of a doubt the most important thing was in my ability to not make one thing but all things my yard stick to getting better!

Here's the thing Black and white thinking and well ness only hid myself from myself long before I quit drinking ..Why in the world would I want to trust my opinion on that as Soobriety and wellness requires being open to all new things and how I use it to understand my humanness not only my Alcholism and being a adult child of a Alkie!

The steps and therapy helped me too see the sneakiness I used soober to try and steer clear of emotional honesty about the reality of my whole == not just the Alcoholism...My sponsor used to say the verdict is still out Continue to acquire factual evidence on your Humanness:))

Billy

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FscIgtDJFXg

%, I have no idea. BUT: coming to this site and my therapist, I would have to say helped me the most.
Also, just thinking ahead, not wanting to live hung over every frickin day for the rest of my life.

For me, it was 100% of deciding to NEVER drink again. Then doing that on a daily basis. It's simple, but not easy.

The things that helped me changed over time. AA helped for awhile as it gave me an alcohol free safe zone. After a point I saw too much negativity in the steps. For example, one of the "maintenance" steps (#10) in AA reads:

"Continued to take personal inventory and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it."

I found it extremely depressing and counter productive to constantly review the things I was doing wrong. Instead I decided to switch it to looking at the positive things I did and feel good about them. The things I do wrong have a way of sorting themselves out in time anyway. As I progressed in counseling and developed a social network outside of AA I left...

My strategy for staying sober has changed over time and what I needed to do at one week was different than one month and one year.

Like Deli, 100% was the decision, the rest was action to stick to it.

No AA.

Interesting non AA comments and I agree. If you can stick with a choice not to drink you don't need AA.

If I had joined AA in my first month I don't think I would have stayed sober. it wasn't a good fit for me at all. The steps, along with admitting powerlessness and turning my life over to a higher power, were the opposite of what I needed to do.

It wasn't that I have so much more resolve in sticking to a choice than anyone else, it was that I had to find what would help ME to stay with that decision. I think that for all the commonalities among alcoholics, quitting is a personal journey, and my inability to connect with AA is not a ding on me or on AA.

Yes AA. 50% to higher power, 50% to attending meetings, 0% to steps. Just what has worked for me. Sober 3 plus years. Oh and no sponsor. I don't do well with sponsors.