Hey rene if your not drinking today you can start over right now. If I may ask where were you at in the 12 steps.

I've been around AA for a long time....my first meeting was in 1991. in and out all this time. Like going to meetings.....have not worked the program

So where was the meeting when you were about to fall off the meeting?

I would recommend doing the steps. Seems logical for someone who has battled off and on sobriety for 20+ years.

But I'm new and have not done my steps.

Sorry to hear that Rene. Don't be too quick to pigeonhole yourself in that category either. A lot of people I know in the rooms have made that declaration but found it untrue of themselves once they thought it through again.

You went quiet pretty quickly after you last posted.

I know I had to get out of my fear, anxiety and move into unfamiliar territory, so to speak, because I realised that if I always did what I always did I would always get what I always got - for me, that was drunk! Don't beat yourself up, just form a better or different plan perhaps.

I know I'm an alcoholic and that its just going to get worse.......My mind is a powerful enemy..

ty for your quick response. That was my exp also. My first meeting was in the late 70s went there drunk and high. I never counted that time cause I had no desire to stop nor did I think I had a problem. My first attempt at being sober was in 03/18/92. I know I made a lot of meetings but never did any of the 12 steps. I thought meetings were the program and although I did have a BB, my dog ate the first 80 pages of it. I keep that book as a reminder that the dog had better sobriety than I did. I didn't get well till my 4th time in AA on 07/22/2001. This time I was so desperate that I would do anything, anything to get well. I was given a sponsor who took me right thru the 12 steps out of the BB and even tho he missed some of the directions it was enough to give me the hope I needed to be able to stay here. I have been thru the steps quite a few times and every time I do I feel that much better on the inside. One thing I never did those first 3 times is ever take anyone else thru the steps and that is what for me I have found that has made the difference. It is in doing that that I was promised that my perceptions would really change and it has for the better. I really do I admire some of you on being able to come right back, me when I go out its like I cant make it back till alcohol has had its way with me. So welcome back. I have a few talks on xa-speakers.org web site here is the link to one I gave in 2010

http://www.xa-speakers.org/pafiledb.php?action=file&id=3064

Give it a listen and see if it helps ok. I hope and pray that you can find your way to just surrender cause this really does work for all that do it from what I have seen over the past 12 yrs.

The meetings are there...I've been to so many meetings that its all a joke...I need to work this program just don't know how to start

If you've been unable to get sober with AA in over 10 years, why not try something else? Find an outpatient program, check out SMART Recovery, go to rehab. Or at least ask yourself why you've been going to AA meetings for so long without doing their program.

Hello rene925,

You have fallen but you can get up and try again.

I have known people who went to two or three AA meeting a day and they drank again and many people who were in and out of AA for years but could not get sober. Unfortunately, all that you will hear at many meetings is: Keep coming back and while that is good advice, it is often not enough to get people sober.

In order to achieve long term sobriety and the peace of mind that comes with it you need to change your attitude, outlook and opinions and that is something that the Twelve Step programme is designed to do. The Big Book does not say: These are the meetings we attended but it does say: These are the steps we took.

It took me a few rounds to get some good sober time. I get to a mtg daily and , even if my ars were falling off, dont pick up a drink today. You can do it. I believe in you. 1is2many

Hi, I'm Adam, I have a similar story. Been going to AA for about 13 years now, initially through rehab. I thought I was bad before but it's getting ridiculous now. I have had two major car crashes DUI recently and several other arrests, attacking people etc. It is beyond me how I can be so stupid as to be addicted to something that warps me into someone I HATE.

I have been seeing a girl in AA who cannot get sober either. We are both bipolar, pagan (new age), musicians. Very bad together. After my last arrest and relapse I swore I would start to listen to suggestions and concentrate on recovery. But I could not stay away from her. I am totally to blame, just got out of court for drink driving, lost license, sobriety, business etc. I don't know how to face my poor parents I am 37 they are too old for this shit.

I have a broken nose black eyes etc. But the worst is knowing I will keep doing this, every few days I just think.. FUCK IT.i was on step 4 ready to do five. I have done several step 4s. There is an awful lot in there.

I don't know where any of this leaves me. people say shit like stay away from the first drink, or just don't drink (why didn't I think of that). others say only god can relieve the obsession. or perhaps it is altruism??

I can only think to try antabuse and or camprol and keep going to aa, possibly SMART and stay single. trouble is I have a rebellious streak. but I am at a point now of being suicidal yet knowing I have to turn this around somehow.

Don't be too quick to conclude your cannot get sober using AA if you haven't tried the solution it has to offer.

First thing to do is to get a sponsor who has worked the steps as they are in the big book. They will guide you on what to do next.