Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I have been reading various forums for awhile now. Finally decided to make an entry. My husband of 35 years has always had a drinking problem (low tolerance). However over the last 5 years it has ramped up considerably to full blown alcoholism. Our latest business venture is going badly and we stand to lose alot but not everything. This has caused him to reach for the bottle. Wine use to be his choice and 4 nights out of 7 he would drink until passed out. Now he sneaks Drambuie and hides hip flasks around the house. Initially I loved finding his hiding places because he would flatly deny he had been drinking, but my intuition was pretty strong, so I would have to find his stash. Last year he competely hit the wall, had a run in with a customer. I came home to find the house open, a fist hole in the kitchen wall and him nowhere in site. I thought the worst and got a call from the police to say he had been taken to hospital because he tried to drown himself at our local beach. While this was followed up with support from the psych team and all was good for a few months and he abstained from drinking over Christmas and on our holiday in January. Unfortunately he convinced himself that he could control it and started drinking again, firstly low alcohol beers, then full alcohol beers and now liquor. Tonight I sit by myself again, we are having a gathering tomorrow night so he went out and filled the fridge with beers and 3 bottles of wine. I come home from work to find him resting in the bedroom because he's tired..... however, we are down 1 bottle of wine. This makes me so sad, all that we have been through and we are just getting nowhere. He has tried AA but hasn't found a group with "his sort" in it. He has taken Antabuse off and on but knows how to manipulate it. He is not abusive, tell me he is a silent drunk!!. We have a good life together and have had some fantastic holidays in the last few years. The kids are 26,24 and 20. They have all experienced their drunk dad on many occasions which also saddens me. The worst that he is, is embarrasing to them. I feel responsible for letting this escalate and not having the finances myself or the ball to leave. Hoping for some advice.
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
You can still be happy despite your husbands drinking but you need alot of support for yourself and Alanon is a great place to find that support.
You can google meetings in your area:
https://al-anon.org/
God Bless
Try to read some of the posts in
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/wives-of-alcoholics
Thanks for reminding me how I used to be just 5 years ago. I finally had enough, when my wife lowered the boom and said I had to leave, to go to an aa meeting. Saved my life.
1is2many
He has to hit rock bottom. That may mean losing the business or you leaving.
I would recommend alanon for you. Learn what you can and can’t control, mostly can’t.
AA is full of people that are “his sort”, but you can’t force someone there who doesn’t want to quit drinking.
Take care of you first.
Sorry to learn that you are in this sad situation. It is sometimes easier to do nothing or to hope for the best but your life will probably not improve until you take action, and perhaps make difficult decisions.
Sadly, your husband is in denial and until he accepts reality, he is unlikely to do anything to solve the problem. This denial often arises out of ignorance of the facts or fear of the future. Try to get him to watch the video at the link below and watch it yourself too, regardless of what your husband does. This will give you good information about alcoholism.
You have no control over your husband’s drinking but you do have the ability to change your own circumstances. In dealing with an alcoholic spouse, people often make mistakes, simply because nobody learns that stuff at school. For that reason it is important for you to learn from other people who are dealing with the same problem – in that way you can try to avoid making some of the most common mistakes. You will find such people at Al-Anon meetings in your area. There is also a forum on DS called “Wives of Alcoholics Community Group” that you may find helpful (Click on the link below):
https://www.dailystrength.org/group/wives-of-alcoholics
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMC62Y_5dyE