I think it is difficult to figure out who we are once we get sober.

Why not just be yourself, as in, be whoever you are comfortable living with?

I had to stop worrying about what others thought of me. I have had to forgive myself for my behavior when I was drinking. I know who I am when I am at my best, but yes, it is difficult to always be that person. I try to be kind, compassionate, loving, loyal, friendly, outgoing at times, funny, etc, but I don't force anything these days.

It sounds like you are trying to hard to be something you are not. Do you work the 12 steps or any program or do you see a therapist. These things may help you learn to cope with the feelings you have surrounding your behavior while drinking.

The Jekyll and Hyde of alcohol. When I was drunk, I am amazed/horrified at what I did. I thank my HP every day that I am still here alive with all my body functions, no limbs missing and not having killed anyone.....how could that be?

The drunk m8bear is world's apart from the not drinking m8ber.

The sober m8bear is better than any of them. I took a while to get to the 'real me' through the 12 steps of AA and still work on it and am surprised what comes.

As the Big Book of AA promises 'we are reborn' :)

Just go with it and see where you go.....I am a miracle, are you?

Yes!! Probably More true than You Think . I spent alot of time finding through investigation Of questions like yours how true that was . Awareness is really the beginning of both understanding and change! My sponsor used to tell Me "Don't swim with your eyes Closed... Pay attention" Wonderful analogy .
nice post ,
Billy

Mayday101 I have a sneaking suspicion that you already know the answer to your question. It seems that you have been around long enough to know that nothing about alcohol is real. We cant dance better we can't play pool better and we are certainly not better people because of alcohol. Under the influence of alcohol the best job we can at life is being good at lying , cheating and stealing. We lie to ourselves. We cheat our friends and family from knowing the real us. Then we steal from our bosses at out jobs because we show up for work with a hangover and are incapable of being the best us we can be. Our whole lives become one big lie.
The beauty of the program of Alcoholics Anonymous is that it teaches us to be the best people we can be. We don't need anybodys approval when we're just doing the right thing. We don't question our motives when our motives are right. Greg

i guess my problem is that if i am a bad dancer and a bad pool player then what do i have to offer?

by the way i dont think i am that bad at pool but my dancing does suck! i knew that even with the alcohol inme!

ok i am goig to be honest now i cant play pool or dance :-(

bigsbearheart i hear you and hope that i can elarn to be one person as well one day, just not sre who that one personwill be yet!

I was pleasantly surprised that when sober, I could shoot pool better than I ever could when drinking. I'm still working on the dance thing, lol.

I had no idea that I was a "woman of substance" (no pun intended) until I got sober and into the steps. I am much more today than a good pool shooter. And so are you. You just don't know it yet.

thanks