Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Epic fail: One year of sobriety down the toilet

ChrisGo
ChrisGo
After over a year of being completely clean & sober from drugs and alcohol, I'm back at it again. It seemed so random, like it just happened out of no where. One day I'm fine, the next I'm stealing oxycotin's out of my dad's safe, couple weeks later I go buy a bottle of rum, then next thing you know I'm buying a gram of coke. Worst part is, nobody has any idea. I snuck around for a week doing lines in the bathroom between classes and waiting till my girlfriend falls asleep and doing blow till 3am. No one knows and I can't bring myself to tell anyone. The disappointment. Ugh. Can't even think about it. Over this last year I have literally picked myself up out of the gutter and got my life back together. I'm pulling straight A's in school, vice pres. of the psychology club, just got invited to the Phi Theta Kappa International Honer's Society, got custody of my 4 year old daughter, paying bills, etc. I have so much to lose, yet here I am thinking about getting some blow tomorrow, sounds like a great idea. What am I doing???
donttread
donttread
You weren't really "fine" . Using is the result of a period of relapse
deleted_user
deleted_user
Chris what I noticed is that you listed all the things that you did in order to stay sober It was so centred on self.

Please give AA a try because all of the things that 'I' tried to put in place to stay sober ultimately did not work and now you have found that all the things that you did to stay sober have come to nothing other than relapse.

Someome else has posted here that addiction is a lifelong daily battle - Chris is doesn't have to be that way for you. It is NOT a daily battle for me. I have been sober for 18 years and if it had been a daily battle all that time I am pretty sure that I ould either be drunk or dead because I don't think that I would have been to bear that.

AA gave me a way to be free of a daily struggle. I know that so long as I try to live on a spiritual basis and help others I will stay sober for the rest of my life. Don't risk yourself anymore check out some AA pls!
deleted_user
deleted_user
WOW, you have a year! You mentioned that the hardest thing was walking through the door. WE are all different and I am new to sobriety, but saying no at 5 oclock to the glass of wine is MUCH harder than walking into an AA meeting.

For me, all I need to hear is don't drink, don't drink. The love and support I am getting will help me get to the rest.

Just a thought. Again, a year is awesome! I hope you find AA or some support!
deleted_user
deleted_user
Run, don't walk to a meeting. I am thinking of picking back up again today, just like yesterdays thoughts. But the fear of where I will end up is keeping me in the now.

Good luck brother, sometimes honesty is the only way to go, tell him, get it over with
deleted_user
deleted_user
Ok-the only way you can tell you father and be on the level is to get and stay sober. YOu effed up-tell him and vow to stay sober. You are being told by God to do this in my view, and you must comply.

Now go tell your father, and get help. If not-you ARE screwed.
deleted_user
deleted_user
I got sober at 24. I didn't have a spouse or child to loose at the time, but I had been arrested several times for DWI's and the like. What they always told me in meetings is: I haven't done that "YET."

i did loose my job, home, friends and almost my life. I am now disabled because of it.

I just celebrated 17 years of sobriety and got sober in AA. Honestly, I was in and out of AA before I nearly died.

My suggestion is to go to a meeting NA, AA or Celebrate Recovery and listen. Don't talk, just start going and listening. You'll hear yourself over & over. Then, be honest (who cares, they don't know you anyway) Learning to be open, honest and getting over yourself is part of the process. Then, find a sponsor or get someone's number who you can call when you want to use.

This is just the beginning. Think of me as the Ghost of Christmas future. I can't tell you how many people I have seen die in 12 steps rooms throughout my sobriety.

Do you want to be one of them or like me? Here's my story:
http://youtu.be/0HLk8W8Kznc

Don't loose what you have going for you. Heck, I used to go to meetings between drinks. No one cares., they'll love you anyway.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Chris, sorry this happened to ya... all I can say is just don't beat yourself up over this shit... Guilt serves no purpose other than leading ya back into booze and drugs so ya won't have to feel it. Try to focus on the specific events/conditions/decisions/etc that caused the setback so you'll learn from it, and start over. I have about 15 months now, but I could very easilly be at a lot less than that... I've had some shitty days where I know if I would've found myself in the same room with some booze, I'd be off the wagon. Luckily it didn't work out that way. Anyhow... in the Big Book, they refer to "slips" as a seperate thing from "relapses"... I guess the difference is that ya can pull yourself back out of a slip and not neccessarilly lose the progress you've made so far in recovery. You may still be able to stop the slip before it becomes a relapse. I know, what you've described sounds like a little more than just a slip, but I've never seen "slip" clearly defined anywhere. Best of wishes