I spent time with a wonderfully cantankerous female therapist to at least begin to smooth out the rough edges on more than one occasion in my soobriety... it shirley::) beat the alternatives! Journalin is also wonderful relief valve too! Try to focus on the sensation's in different part of body as you meditate and just acknowledge them and let them dissipate as you give them room to breath:)
Billy

Failed relationships threw me for a loop. I would get frantic trying to fill my time and then crash. The crash and burn cycle eventually evened out more and more with time. How long? IMO. everybody punches their own clock here. Did I feel like drinking intensely at times (a lot at the beginning), sure. For me it took time to grieve for the frantic/crash cycle to get better. I had to learn to be thankful for the times, however short that the relationship wasn't front and center in my mind. That first morning where I wouldn't think about it the moment I awoke. And appreciate myself that I didn't drink when the break up was front and center in my mind. For me activity helped, but that 3am boogeyman (night terrors) now that's a tough one for me...

This one is for you. Many a great song and other types of creative things come from the place you are. You will find your voice.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXojz1Uo_Ho

Well sorry the relationship ended. In my 18+yrs sobriety Ive just had two relationships to which are gone now. Both of them I wanted to marry, but one not enough to come home from Guam. That ended when she wouldnt move. I rejoiced! Yep free at last!

The other is now my exwife. LoL

Losses are hard to deal with. Time does heal, booze does not.
Call another alcoholic. Call a brand new guy. Help him. Get put of your head.
Go for a run, see a movie, eat your favorite foods, and call another alcoholic.
Have you worked all 12 steps? If so write inventory around this and....call another alcoholic. Yes, it helps.

I had a relationship end very traumatically last September and not once did I think that drink was the answer (and I was so grateful to my HP for being spiritually well and having had the obsession to drink removed).

What I did do was to look at my life pattern of behaviours and my part in it all. What I realised that it was my childhood patterns playing out and I was able to look at how I attach to trauma and the wrong relationships (not saying yours was that).

It may be beneficial to look at the 'emptiness' that has come back to you as you say it is the same feelings that had you reaching for booze before. May also be that the 'hurt' of it is on top of other losses in your life too.

This really is a life long journey and the great thing is, our HP removes the obsession and what we are left with is life stuff....the 'ism' of 'I Self and Me'.

I agree with the other replies and I especially like what Stickywick suggested, get out of your head. It's helped me a lot. Break ups are tough, and it's hard to remember at the time that the pain will subside with time.

I got though my fiancee's death. I literally cried every night for one month. I did not go back to drinking. I went through the grieving process. The end of a relationship is the same, except they did not die. When we drank, we avoided painful emotions like grief.
It's a new experience for us but just like normies we can do it.

On a third death that year,that of my son, I made the mistake of drinking. What a fool I was. It was the biggest mistake of my life.

GDJ,

The problem with drinking, and it being the crutch in times of adversity, is that we use it during a breakup, we use it when we lose our job, we use it when someone we know passes away, and so and so forth til we abuse it because life isn't fair, which can happen at any hour of any day, or every hour of every day.

Stay strong my friend. You have support here. Breakups are painful. I have drank through several of them, and a divorce. I only took steps backward in my life progression.

Hi, GDJ,

I hope this finds you well, well as well as can be expected given your current circumstances. I am very tired, so I'm a bit off today. I hardly ever get more than 3 1/2 hrs sleep at one time. I've tried everything, but because of another mental condition it rarely works. Sometimes I wake up every 1 or 2 hours. At times my diet deteriorates. At times such as these over the years I've learned to try to keep in the front of my mind that I have to be on guard from acting impulsively to minimize self destructive behaviors and there is better place I will reach. But that blackness sucks and tricks me into thinking it will last forever. I have to look very hard for that little ray of light each day. Eventually, the sunshine peaks through my window making the tear drops shine like diamonds. And I can start to enjoy life a bit more and more each day. Until the shit happens again, but for me the episodes have gotten less frequent and aren't quite as intense. Like I said I'm very tired. Hopefully, we can both get through this stuff together...

Thankyou all for your kind words. I still haven't picked up. I know if I keep asking my HP for help every morning and thank it every night. I will get through life sober.

My son told me that in my first run of sobriety in AA I was an angry person. AA was the only thing around in a rural Wyoming town.
Two newcomers listened to the group not to take any mind altering substance. They stopped their antidepressants and killed themselves. My boss told me that i think that they (AA members) are my friend, but they are not. I was between a rock and a had place.

My son said that this second run is very different. I did try AA but i found myself getting drunk after meetings. I used a group at the Medical Group that was lead by a psychologist. He was a great help, but i did not get anything from the members of the group. I am more of a loner. It is my path and I felt better doing it on my own. I owe my sobriety to Mindful Meditation. I am still in the learning phase as I am a student of the masters, Buddhist monks. Each week I go to a lesson and learn something new. The meditation is not something to use just during the withdrawal phase. It is necessary for me to do it every day for life. I like it better than any meeting.

AA is good fit for some. it was not for me.