Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hello. My bf just got out a 28 day alcohol rehab program. Since he has been home I've noticed that he has a totally new group of friends that he is meeting out. These are friends that DO NOT know of his current alcohol issues. He does have a close group of buddies that know about his situation and would hang out with him without drinking, including me. He is meeting these new friends out at bars and restaurants and going to a couple house parties. He has been home a month and we have only seen each other 3 times. A couple days ago I've noticed that there was Coronas in his fridge. I, of course, called him out on it and he said his friend brought them over. Can someone this fresh out of rehab really have that much self control to be able to go to bars and have Coronas in the fridge? I'm wondering if the reason my relationship with him is going down hill because he is drinking again and trying to hide it? (It can be that the relationship has just run its course). But, during rehab we would talk every day and before rehab we would see each other ever day. I'm just wondering if these are red flags that I need to pay attention to. When he checked himself in to the inpatient program he was drinking a 5th of vodka a day. I believe his blood alcohol level was a 0.34. So I find it hard that someone would have the ability to go out in the drinking social setting so quickly. Any thoughts?
I am also in a group called Friends and Families of Addicts here on DS. You might find you like discussing this over there.
hugs and hope my advice helps.
Perhaps the relationship has run its course as you say. Is he going to give you want you want? If not maybe its time to move on.
It would be good, wouldn't it? But that's my experience. I admire your loving worries, but at the same time I feel sorry for you. The signs are of course not good. Self control is practically non existent if an alcoholic is not under the protection of a very strong desire to stop drinking.
You might consider going to Al-Anon. Take care of yourself. Move on.
Temporary healthy relationships are made in rehab, phone numbers are exchanged and we plan on meeting up. We met up, we soon romanticize on how the other one partied because that's what we do, its all we have in common. The disease is to powerful.
Personally I can be around anything, look a person in the eye and tell them that (always my exact words) "that stupid shit landed me in prison". I like to think its a power greater than myself doing for me what I could not do, this has taken years of practice (AA, sponsorship, steps and so on)
I hate to burst your bubble but with a BAC of that amount and only a 28 day program with beer in the fridge, YES there is no doubt in my mind only he is hitting it again.
The question is what are you gonna do????
Human beings rarely hold the power to change alcoholics.
The question you might ask yourself do you want to go through all the toxic and drama before he gets done? Might be along ride until he gets done.
To have to get in my car and go buy some would take absolute intention on my part - but grabbing a beer at a weak moment - would be way too tempting if it was in my fridge.
I also agree with the suggestion that you might want to look into Al Anon - they will help you deal with these issues and also help you decide if you want to stay or go.
Good luck!