For some reason, my desire to go to AA meetings is zero.  

I am thinking it is a waste of time.  I am thinking I like the book more so anyhow, and the information inside of it is the whole purpose for it being a thing.  

I guess the only thing I kind of like it for now is the new people, to see them, get on their pink clouds.  Could I be growing away from AA?  I was kind of a big promoter of AA, before recently, then some really unfortunate things happened in my life, and now I am really kind of "meh", when it comes to AA right now for some reason.  

I do think my appreciation for being alone and not very social has a lot to do with it.  If I have to be around a lot of people, who I really don't know and who I would rather not be around in any other situation, I'd rather be paid for it.  

I am a little concerned that my desire for AA to be a part of my life has really changed, not so much AA, but the AA meetings.   I still really like what the book says and all the solutions there.  I just really don't like people just talking, about themselves, not really caring if it is in line with what the book said is the solution.  I can go to a bar to get that.  

I also don't really like or feel good when if someone doesn't choose to go to the meetings for a while, when they decide to go again, the people who have been going, look at them like they are less than or not worth talking to, until they prove that they are going to go daily, to them.  

I think I am putting principles behind personalities, and I can see that my brain might just be fighting hard for AA to not be in my life, so it can suggest I do some not so wise things again.  I do know that when I go to AA, for other people, my life is pretty solid, and those people do have less to worry about.  

It could be worse I guess, I could have to go to a place that made me literally shovel shit for an hour just to be healthy.  I'm probably just making a bigger deal out of it than it has to be.