hello
I know exactly what you are going through. The same thing happened to me last march. All of it is overwhelming but you can do it. I am only 6 days in right now ( I have been battling my alcohol addiction for 15 years), but that shows you that this is not the end. Now I am at a place where I really truly feel that I do not and would not drink that crap ever again.
Just remember to breath and that things could always be much worse. You are here now and thank god for that. :)

I can't see how I am going to get through it. I know, intellectually, that I will. But emotionally I can't get focused. I am a single mom. My family all lives out of state, I am terrified what is going to happen with my ability to drive, if I can't work, if I can't get my kids where they need to be, what my ex will do if and when he finds out. The shame, the guilt, the self hatred is overwhelming. I feel like I want to cry and shout for help, but the desire to draw the curtains and hide from everyone and everything is so much more powerful.

Every word of encouragement, support, kindness, advice, and even just acknowledgement that I am truly not alone right now, will be a lifeline for me.
Thank you Ra1nb0w

Welcome. I know what its like to hit a bottom. I hit a few and then bounced along that bottom for another year before going to AA.
I never got a DUI just because I was lucky; or unlucky depending on how I look at it now.
Anyway, don't despair, GET help. Change your life.
Go to AA, or go to out or inpatient. DO something. Because you won't likely "beat" anything but yourself UP on your own.

What's your job? How old are your kids? Do you have public trans where you live? How about neighbors?

You will get through it... because you have to.

The good news is, it can only get better from here on out...

Hugs.

I found lots of help in aa. I was broken and had too got in lots of trouble. I was riding with the three horsemen. Shame guilt and remorse. It is possible to get better. You are worth it. C'mon!
1is2many

Why I never got a DUI, I'll never know. I sure drove the roads in Wyoming drunk. So how could i judge someone who got a DUI. WE are all in the same boat. We were going to lose something important to us. I was going to lose my family. You may lose your driver's license. It's time to get serious about quitting booze forever. If you fully accept that you cannot drink again, it become easier, and life gets better.

No judgement here...in time you will really be glad that it happened because it has stopped you and if it hadn't you could have continued and killed someone. I had one when I was 17, continued to drink like a fish but never drove when I was wasted again. 25 years later I am grateful that it was just a DUI.
So, don't be ashamed, we've done it and much worse here:)

Thank you guys. I'm feeling a little less alone today.

Congrats for spotting a problem...

No Ivory Towers from me...the one end only reason i never got a DUI is because I never passed my license :)

I was anxious as hell as a kid and nervous behind the wheel and by the time it was time to sort things out riding the bus and drinking seemed more fun than paying insurance and petrol money every month...so i became an anxious public transport customer instead :) I guess part of me knew drink driving charges would be an occupational hazard for someone like me even back at 18/21.

Glad you're feeling better and climb aboard the sober bus...we don't bite :)

https://youtube.com/watch?v=24ref_8ueIU

P

Ouch!!! The only reason I didn't get a dui is I didn't get caught. I only did it once but once was once too many.

I'm so glad you had the courage to jin DS and to post that here. It's so easy to condemn and point fingers. The fact is, though, for every finger I point, three point right back.

I'm glad this is your 'rock bottom' and truly hope you get the love, support and help you need right now. I can't imagine the journey that's taken you to where you are and hope this really will be the beginning of real change and move to wholeness in your life.

Good luck on your journey.

Like others here, it is pure luck that I did not get a DUI, or worse yet, cause an accident and kill someone.

You are going to have a legal mess to deal with, BUT you didn't hurt anyone, and you can work through this. First things first -- no drinking. It might be tempting to drink to drown out the thoughts about the DUI, but don't do it.

You can get sober and work through this. And when you do, you might very well look back on your DUI as a blessing and a positive turning point in your life.

Yes I have been there, and YES it sucks MAJORLY! But once you go through the motions and get things in order, it won't seem like the world is ending.

The point is you are choosing to stop and (hopefully) take steps to stay stopped.

DUIs are a nightmare but with time they are just a crappy but sometimes necessary memory of why we shouldn't drink.

Stay dry and get help.

I had lost my job, primarily from drinking so I went home and told my wife who was very pissed at me because I was drunk at the time I told her. So I drove myself to the hospital ER and told them I needed detox. They tested my blood and told me I was too drunk to be admitted and to go home and sober off. I had a friend who worked in the ER at the time and she was dumbfounded by what the young doctor told me! So I drove home drunk. It was a dam wonder I didn't get caught for DUI!

Things got from bad to worse. My wife came home from work and I was passed out on the couch. Supper was burning up in the oven. I was suppose to watch it. She was so mad at me that she kicked me out but I would not leave so she called the cops.

The cop gave me a choice of either detox or jail and I told him I would love to go to detox but they wouldn't take me last time I went so I drove home...drunk! He told me, he guaranteed they would take me if I was escorted by him so I thought that was a great idea. I was so drunk at the time, I was oblivious to how low I actually was! I was too drunk to feel any embarassment whatsoever. That was what I wanted, I didn't want to feel anything.

So we got there and they tested my blood and told me I was too drunk but this time they gave me IV fluids to get as much alcohol out of my system as they could so I could be admitted.

I was in detox for 4 days. After detox I went through an IOP(Intensive Outpatient Program) where I learned about my disease and I also learned some coping skills while I was being treated for some issues which predisposed me to addiction such as ptsd over my dad who die in a freak accident at my house. There were some other things also. The counselors I had there did an outstanding job! The IOP was also called the serene program and it was a very eye opening experience.

When the iop was completed, my counselors thought I need additional counseling which was once a week for 3 months and while there, I learned what my triggers were and how to deal with them. This was also very eye opening as we did some role playing and came up with plans on what to do when faced with a trigger. All of us worked together on each one. It was awesome!

Throughout all of the help I was given, AA meetings were a requirement and we had to go to a minimum of 3 per week. After my treatment, I cut the meeting load down to 1 or 2 per week only going to the beginner meetings that were designed for the first 3 steps only.

It took about a month of just listening before I opened my mouth and said anything. It was at this time that I got my sponser and we became very close friends. I was on the phone everyday to him giving him progress reports. He helped me look at my life from different angles and he inspired me in ways I cannot completely explain but most importantly, he helped me...keep myself sober during those critical first few months when relapse is more likely then sobriety!

That was 7+ years ago. Today, I have a good life. I have what I need and I never have to worry anymore! I live my life by the 12 steps and I have never been happier!

I wish the same for you!

God Bless!

Great post, Bob. Everyone should read your story. It's not easy, but there's a simplicity in it. Beautiful. Thank you for sharing.