I am an alcoholic. I too would drink too much and also when I was bored. Only you can decide if you have an issue with alcohol or not. If you do there are many things that you can do to get a handle on the alcoholism.

The issues I had were that I too would isolate and when I was alone drink lots. I drank because I liked the effect that alcohol gave me. It made me not have to deal with life. Problem was that I just never dealt with anything and it all became a mountain of crap to deal with and then I would have to drink more to hide from the mountain and the cycle would be never ending.

For me the solution was to just not start today. I know that if i have one i will want more and more until i finish them all. today i go to a group of recovering drinkers and we help each other out. I find life has so much more to give when Im not in a haze of booze.

1is2many

Hey Nikkig2. I remember the day I started to realize I might have a problem, and it turned out I did. The way that I knew that I had a problem is when I would try to control my drinking, I realized that I couldn't. It's always easier for me to drink none than it is to have a few. Every once in a great while I could have one or two, but pretty much once I had a buzz, there was no return. I would get wasted.

Realizing I was a legit alcoholic came from me repeatedly trying to limit the amount I was drinking and continuing to fail countless times. I would try so hard, sometimes telling myself if I wait until later in the evening I won't have as many or if I spread them out into 1 drink per hour, etc, etc. It just became exhausting and I realized that the fact that I was doing all of those things, the time spent on planning my alcohol and obsessing about how and when, that's how I knew I was an alcoholic.
Non alcoholics don't even dwell on counting how many or making sure they only have this number of drinks. Meanwhile, even if they did, they'd be able to quit whenever they wanted anyway.

I would drink bored, happy, sad, lonely, excited. There was always a reason to drink and I drank mostly alone at my house as well because going out was just a lot more work and also I would sometimes regret the way I acted in front of other people.

Alcoholics are pretty similar in a lot of ways, but also different in other ways and some of it depends on the level of progression I think. Attempting controlled drinking for a week or so might give you a good idea of whether or not you have a problem. If you are already thinking you might have a problem, it might be worth talking to someone about it anyway........sometimes helps to just get things out in the open and work through them.

Best of luck.

Hi Nikkig2
Like the other comments said there are different levels and different kinds of alcoholics but the fact you're worried about being an alcoholic is a good sign for you to make a change so you don't tip over the edge.
It sounds to me a bit like you're lonely with your husband living away and you spending the majority of the time in your apartment. If you feel that you can I suggest you talking to him about it and he can give you support even long distance. Maybe focus on a new hobby or activity that gets you oit and about to break the isolation. I agree with Candi, try to stay off the booze and if you find it a struggle then im sure there are good support groups local to you or use thia group. Theyve really helped me. Wishing you all the best :-)

The sign that made me realize that i was an alcoholic was that I drank until I was drunk, when I only intended to have one or two drinks, Like you, I drank alone at home. The compulsion overrides the will power. Once I start drinking, I cannot stop. The only solution for me was not to take the first one.

I found other activities other than booze to reward my lonely mind. I started hiking. I got interested in photography. I take the Great Courses on-line. Follow your spirit and you will be OK.

I made the same promise. My dad was alcoholic. I knew in my teens when I drank that I wouldn't be like him.

Sadly, I did. I never got a DUI but I disappointed and offended so many people.

I didn't quit until I was 41. I'm 45 now, four years sober, and wishing I had quit at least 10 yrs earlier.

The obsession for alcohol is powerful. I learned in AA that it wasn't the last drink that got me drunk. It was the first drink.

If I don't start, I don't have to worry about not being able to start.

I also worked on why I drank. I face life head-on and that helps. The 12 steps helped me too.

You certainly have some warning signs that I'd be concerned about. Ultimately, only you can decide if you have a problem.

I think it's natural that when the pressures of life get to us, we start looking for something that will numb that emotional pain because we don't want to feel it. It hurts!

Both of my parents were alcoholics like yours and I swore I would never touch the stuff, and I didn't for about 30 years. That was when the pressures of life became too difficult to bare. I had a failing marriage, a mountain of debt and I was working two jobs to try to pay those bills which bincreasingly seemed like a losing battle. I was trying to get by on 4 hours of sleep a day and I did this for 15 years.

I was suffering from chronic low back pain which was the result of one of my jobs that was physically and mentally demanding. I was on every nsaid at one time or another until they stopped working so my doctor had no other option but to prescribe narcotic pain meds. They seemed to cure everything that I thought was wrong with me including my pain, my depression and my anxiety. I thought, now I can work overtime and make more money to pay on all those debts. What I didn't realize at the time was how I was building a tolerance which meant I had to keep self medicating with more and more to achieve the same results, so I was buying them in places that I normally would not have been buying them in, had I been in my right mind. Long story short, I nearly died from renal failure and spent 3 days in the hospital.

So what does this have to do with alcohol? When my pill sources dried up, I began drinking because I still had all of those underlying issues that needed healing. They needed to be dealt with. Up to that point, my life was like a runaway freight train and I knew it was going to crash at the end of the line. When I checked myself into detox and out patient treatment was when my life began to change for the better. I had lots of help along the way from my outpatient counselors to my AA sponsers.

That was 9 years ago. Today I have a great life and I have never been happier!

God Bless

Hello Nikki92,
I am not an alcoholic, so I cannot entirely understand what you are going through, I can imagine it must be very difficult. The good thing is there are always resources around to help, and the internet is a great tool. Whether this is finding an AA meeting to attend, using online forums such as this, or even seeking treatment. I also thought I would mention your question about how to tell your husband. I am not going to give you advice, but he is your husband and he married you for better or for worse. As well as if he knows about your birth parents' alcoholism (or if not) it may help him to understand that this something genetic that you inherited. It is not your fault, I hope this may encourage you in the slightest way.

Best wishes

Thanks to all for your answers. Dealing with a horrible headache this morning paying the price for last night. Going to get my mom involved with what's been going on and maybe she can help me find some place to get help. I do believe I have a problem and need to stop. Still not sure where, when and how but as I look at the answers here I am in a downward mode and it has to stop. Thanks again to you all.

Many people start with there doctor. Alcoholism is a symptom of deeper emotional issues so it is treated as a mental health problem. I would make that appointment today. Your doctor can discuss treatment options for you and point you in the right direction.

God Bless

AA is free, convenient for most, and doesn't require you to temporarily overturn your life like rehab does. But, perhaps rehab is needed.

If your worried enough to seek out DS forum and ask the question we have all asked at some time is enough to consider your options. An alcoholic can't take that first drink because if we do we can't stop - our bodies crave more. Make a decision to see your GP as soon as you can and take the first steps towards the rest of your life xxx

I joined this forum and then a couple weeks later went to an AA meeting and found hope for the first time in forever. I found people that had found ways to cope with the fear and anxiety I was living. That was June 9, 2012. Sure I still have troubling times but I know alcohol will only make matters worse. Life is waiting for you. Go get it. You deserve to be happy
1-2

I too drank by myself. Most of my family and my husband had no idea it was as bad as it was. It wasn't until I started watering down our bottles and getting so sneaky that I realized I had a problem. Then I tried to quit on my own and relapsed twice in a month. The last time was pretty bad as it was in front on my 12 year old daughter. That was my last drink. I reached out and sought out AA and I am now 20 months sober. Even starting AA I thought I would just " get it under control" only now I realize that isn't how it can be for me and I can't take that first drink. I was so ashamed telling my husband and confessing all I had been doing, but through my actions I have shown him I am serious about recovery.

Hello Niki92,

The first thing I would suggest is to educate yourself about alcoholism and you have already made a good start by posting here and asking questions. Alcoholism is a complex condition and difficult to describe in a short post so if you click on the link below, you will get a much better understanding.

There are many types of alcoholic but they all have two things in common. The first is that at some point in their drinking career, drinking became an obsession. People who have this obsession will always find reasons to drink and they will often drink alone in order to hide the true extent of the problem from other people. The second part of the problem is that an alcoholic develops an abnormal physical reaction to alcohol. Once a drink is taken, the body craves more alcohol and each drink makes the craving stronger. You wrote: “once I taste it I can not stop” and that is an indication that you have a craving for alcohol.

You do not have to drink in the morning to be an alcoholic, although that does come later as alcoholism is a progressive condition. If you are an alcoholic, you cannot take any alcohol at all and will never manage to control your drinking for any significant period of time so the only safe option is to quit drinking. You may need medical supervision in order to detox safely so getting your mom involved is a good idea but also have an honest talk with your doctor.

Alcoholism is an extremely serious condition and it kills many drinkers. Therefore, humility is required in admitting to your husband and other people that you have a problem. This is a time for straight talking as pride can leave you in an early grave.

The good news is that it is possible to recover from alcoholism. The starting point is acceptance that you are an alcoholic and cannot drink. After that, it takes a willingness to do whatever is required. You can get a lot of help at AA meetings.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CMC62Y_5dyE

Just to clarify something. Somehow or other I have posted above under an old username - Rua77 is actually that boring old PJ54.

I had not meant to take anonymity to such extreme lengths, ha, ha.