Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
So, I'm on day 114 of no alcohol. Aside from my first few posts, my last few times I've been on here have to post good news and positive feelings.
I was feeling good and doing very well. I had hard days, but overall, felt good. Then, I didn't.
You would think that it would be getting easier. It seems it was, but now I'm struggling again. I'm just keeping it real.
I miss wine. A lot.
Yes, I can have fun sober, and I am having fun sober, but the last few weekends, I have missed being a little bit NOT sober.
I began to tell people. Only a handful of people. Already, I've noticed a few of them not calling or coming around as often, even though they promised they would. I hate this.
I hate that I'm starting to say, well maybe I can do this again. In moderation. Maybe the past 114 days have taught me self-control.
We are going on a cruise for fall break. And, I'm dreading it. Cruise with no drinking, really??
It also seems my marriage is starting to feel some stress. At first, my husband was very supportive and positive and gave me lots of good feedback. Now it seems we are at odds with this. It's not that he is pressuring me to drink, but we don't do anything anymore. We don't go out, we don't even try. I'm not attending gatherings that I used to and he still wants to go (he is a drinker).
I've just been having a rough few days / weeks. I really, really want to stay and just work through these feelings. To be honest, I'm scared. Really scared that I'm going to slip.
I hate this.
I was feeling good and doing very well. I had hard days, but overall, felt good. Then, I didn't.
You would think that it would be getting easier. It seems it was, but now I'm struggling again. I'm just keeping it real.
I miss wine. A lot.
Yes, I can have fun sober, and I am having fun sober, but the last few weekends, I have missed being a little bit NOT sober.
I began to tell people. Only a handful of people. Already, I've noticed a few of them not calling or coming around as often, even though they promised they would. I hate this.
I hate that I'm starting to say, well maybe I can do this again. In moderation. Maybe the past 114 days have taught me self-control.
We are going on a cruise for fall break. And, I'm dreading it. Cruise with no drinking, really??
It also seems my marriage is starting to feel some stress. At first, my husband was very supportive and positive and gave me lots of good feedback. Now it seems we are at odds with this. It's not that he is pressuring me to drink, but we don't do anything anymore. We don't go out, we don't even try. I'm not attending gatherings that I used to and he still wants to go (he is a drinker).
I've just been having a rough few days / weeks. I really, really want to stay and just work through these feelings. To be honest, I'm scared. Really scared that I'm going to slip.
I hate this.
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Dick Van Dyke’s path to sobriety was a turning point in his life and career. Here’s what happened:How He Got SoberStruggles and Realization: Van Dyke began drinking as a teenager, largely to cope with shyness and social anxiety. Alcohol made him feel more comfortable in social settings, but over time, his drinking spiraled out of control. By his mid-40s, he recognized that he had an addictive...
Once we get sober, it doesn't mean we are happy/positive etc. all the time. There are ups and downs We are learning. Sometimes we are "in-between".
I will try to look for the "next right thing" to do, find someway to be of service to someone or when all else fails, scrub a toilet, vacuum or do laundry.
Lastly, I will also add - this too shall past, I promise.
I think that I've been told by more than one individual that I should be on the lookout around month 3 -or- 4 of sobriety for depression.
Sure as that, I started dealing with it around day 95 and it continues (today is day 99). So, knowing it is normal and that others who have many years of sustained sobriety experienced this, I was at least able to feel it without beating myself up.
This too, shall pass. Hang in there!
Pegrat - I think I'm going to look into that more. The timing is right around that 3 month mark!
Thanks again to you both.
Just reading your post makes it so real for me, feeling everything you are feeling because I know what you are going through.
Can you cancel the cruise? Probably not, but I can't imagine going on a cruise without drinking, although I have done it myself but I was years into sobriety at the time.
It is normal to go through what you are feeling. And to be scared. Do you have someone you can call? In some type of support group?
I know what you mean about hating that you're going to slip - it's literally like fighting with the devil! It's awful. Call someone in AA, or whatever support you have. Just don't drink. This too shall pass.
You can do this. I think that there is an important distinction you need to address. Tho. No alcohol vs sober. I tried the no alcohol thing and I was miserable, I stayed dry for 2 yrs until I had to have a glass. Had to. This time I take some action to help me stay sober and happy.
C'mon
1-2
I've worried about open bar events, trips overseas, girls weekends, etc
I've stayed sober a day at a time through them.
I agree with the others .... Sobriety means feeling stuff. And that's ok.
What I had to come to terms with is I didn't miss a "little" drunk, I missed blotto shit faced drunk. There isn't anything else for me and hasn't been for a long time.
I was dry 3 months and thought I could moderate. I drank again and while I didn't get sloppy drunk the first few times I sure as shit did within a few weeks. It was awful.
So don't experiment with being a possible exception to the alcoholic rule.
Stay sober. It's hard at times but the rewards are plentiful and magic.
Also- wanted to quickly add that on many cruises, you will find "Friends of Bill W" meetings that take place for people in sobriety. Bet you will find the support on the cruise too.
((( hugs )))
Without sounding dramatic I know for me a lot of the turmoil started between my ears...even if it didn't feel that way.
People told me things would get better and they did on the outside...so long as I did all I could to react in the right way and be completely commited to not drinking and putting a spanner in the aorks that way.
life for me is more settled today. Keep up the good work and the things going on for you will have a resolution...try it and see :)
P
Stay with it and work through this tough time. You cannot drink in moderation and don't try to kid yourself into thinking one glass of wine won't hurt. That will quickly lead you back into drinking hell.
Why aren't you going out with your husband? If you can't handle being around gatherings where alcohol is served, then why not go see a movie together or pick apples? Now is a good time to start doing more, not less.
Keep posting, especially if things get difficult. We are here to offer support to help you over these rough spots.
Look how far you came without drinking, it is not like you are physically addicted to alcohol. I understand, it is mentally hard.
Keep everyone informed, thanks for sharing.
HopefulSara, the only way you'll drink is if you want to. You see, I blamed this and that for my drinking but it was my right arm that kept getting me drunk. I had to take responsibility for my sobriety. No one person, thing, event, etc, could make me drink. It was up to me and only me on whether I drank or not. Just remember, you don't have to drink if you don't want to. Might want to find a group of sober alcoholics to talk this stuff through in real life. Godspeed.