Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi everybody. Im still working towards serenity. Ive been sober a while now. I've been so busy, and havent been doing all i should in regards to my well being. So recently i've started therapy again, my emotional sobriety. And i just yesterday had a major eye opening experience as to why i am still stuck in a (ten year) rut with my childrens father. It all started with a couple of work sheets that my therapist gave me to do.. and it snowballed from there. OMG... I'm with a guy who acts like my alcholic father, and who treats me like my emotional abusive mother! I just cant believe it.. although it seems so obvious now. This HAs thrown me for a loop... i'm shaky.. im terrified of what i've opened up... i'm scared of digging deeper and seeing the past ten years differently... i almost feel like my sanity is on the line here! Waht the hell am i doing? It sickens me to think i've been torturing myself with this relationship just because i need to own up to(and deal with) what i went through as a child... why would i do this to myself and not even see it in the slightest way? Until now that is. I feel so stupid... i've always been confused about this guy... but not like this... i cant explain what is happpening inside me.. its just really freaky..like i'm on the verge of realizing something i really don't want to.. somethign inside me is about to explode..and i didnt go to school today... which always makes me feel like crap... but with this happening, i honestly don't even care about school rith now... i know this is more important... i dont know what i' even asking of you all. I just can't deal with this alone right now!
I know too many people that had a great childhood that are now drunks.
It's another excuse IMNSHO.
It's simply a chemical thing and if it wasn't just that ONLY then why would Baclofen work so well?
It's a chemical IMNSHO that we end up craving that is liken to a puzzle with last piece missing.
It makes us everything that we were not when sober, whether we are or not to others, it makes US think we are....... and that's chemicals in our brains.
You are not alone. Maybe that is all you need from your post. Identification.
Last week I started doing a resentment on my new boss and when I started going through it, and listing my fears, my sister and father came up so strongly that I couldnt do any more. I just had to leave it until I was with my sponsor and that is ok.
Your therapist is doing a good job and you are in a safe environment with them. This is the step 4 of my AA program. We have to look at this stuff to come out the other side but you can see the light at the end of the tunnel. How great it will be to have all that darkness lifted and to be able to truly get the serenity you desire.
You are not alone, remember that. Easy does it and be kind to you.
Finding out something about yourself like this can be shocking, but it may not be the exact truth about why you are the way you are.
Try to take what you've learned about yourself and allow it to sink in. You may want to write it out on a piece of paper and leave it alone for a while. Eventually, the insights about yourself will become assimilated within you. The emotions that have come up will settle.
Being sober means getting used to thoughts and emotions that have always been there but weren't allowed to surface because drinking kept them down. Allow your system and your Higher Power to take care of you in this time of adjustment.
Take some deep breaths, take a bath, go for a walk, talk to a friend.
Have faith that your HP is guiding your life right now. These relationships of the past absolutely formed who I became. For me, my psychologist was trained in bringing these delicate matters up & knowing when I was becoming overwhelmed. Sponsors couldn't help me with this type of deeply ingrained disturbance.
My HP put that Dr in my life to help me become emotionally stable, AA was put in my life to help me become emotionally sober. If you find that your therapist is going too fast for you, please bring that up. There's no chance of getting to emotional stability if you drink over these revelations. Good Luck!