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"If you will call your troubles experiences, and remember that
every experience develops some latent force within you, you
will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your
circumstances may seem to be."
-- John R. Miller
every experience develops some latent force within you, you
will grow vigorous and happy, however adverse your
circumstances may seem to be."
-- John R. Miller
I won't even try to touch the various conventional theological notions of the redemptive value of suffering here, but stick to some easy-to-grasp truisms about human nature. I really have to question the validity of the very popular supposition that most of us buy into most of the time, namely we'd be better off if we could all avoid the things that cause us pain and difficulty.
In my craziest moments I would never have aspired to be a low-bottom alcoholic, have congestive heart failure caused by a birth defect, to have watched my house burn to the ground, nor to have the love of my life suffer from cancer and my kid brother die of it or to be a geezer as am now, making end-of-life decisions. And anyone who might wish such things upon me would be off my Christmas card list in a trice!
But the fact remains that is has been by slogging through these things that my life has acquired meaning, like the loose threads on the back of a tapestry that seem to go nowhere until you turn it over and see the picture they make on the other side.
But that's how it is in reality with human nature. Let's say Moe and Joe are neighbors, and on the same day that Moe wins 17 million in the lottery, Joe is in a terrible accident that requires months of physical rehab and devastates him financially. So a year later, who's really happier, Moe the guy with the dough or Joe the guy with the crutches and the mountain of medical bills?
Some real-life studies of thousands of parallel cases confirmed what way deep down we've always suspected, that in reality the guy who got the so-called raw deal is happier-- not always, but in a much higher percentage of cases than anyone had previously assumed. And perhaps strangest of all, the findings did not confirm that such happiness correlates with belief in a theological concept system that emphasizes redemptive suffering or personifies God as a fellow whose mercy is more readily available to those who face their problems within that frame of reference. As often as not, such people only wind up angry at God-- adding "Why me, Lord?" and a sense of betrayal about THAT-- to the load they're already carrying.
Carl Jung called this human need the adversity gradient, and proposed that it's universal in human nature. The simple fact is that despite our objections to the contrary, we thrive on difficulty and none of us would ever be truly happy with a permanent residence on Easy Street. And Jung added somewhere else that neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering.
Yet even though we may occasionally pause and acknowledge the truth of all this, the tacit assumption that we'd all be happier and better off if shit never happened underlies our thoughts and conversations all the time. But the relief we may get from such utopian daydreaming is just as temporary as what we get from a shot of whiskey, and each delivers its own sort of hangover in due time.
Makes me think of what people suffered and survived as a direct or indirect result of wars. I have just finished reading a couple of books on the experience and memoirs of people who lived through WW11.
I had first hand knowledge but no direct suffering of a being in what is now Zimbabwe during the escalation of the Rhodesian Bush War and clear thread runs through these recollections about how people pulled together through adversity and the resourcefulness of the human being is breathtaking.
Bring it up further to date and there are still extroadinary tales of events amid extreme suffering where people had the best of the spiritual or brotherly love brought out in them by shared adversity and a peculiar bitter-sweet happiness that is wrought out of "making it through."
I agree with your very interesting post Nemo about how it would be utter madness to wish any misfortune upon anyone or one's self but the human capacity to face fire wtih fire really should put fear in it's place!
I also think other people are a very important aspect to include in any attempt at quantifying happiness, if happiness cannot be shared, it is not so great a prize. If sadness is not shared, it is harder to bear.
I had first hand knowledge, but experienced no direct suffering, as a result of being in the country now known as Zimbabwe during the escalation of the Rhodesian Bush War. From what I have read and personally experienced, a clear thread runs through these recollections about how people pulled together through adversity and the resourcefulness of the human being is breathtaking.
Billy