Alcoholism Support Group

Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.

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Confession

Ashley8888
Ashley8888
I was sober for a little over a year...or 15 months...I drank tonight with my sister...she is telling me not to say anything to those in AA....I can see her point of view...and I know you are all going to highly object, lol...BUT I am considering, do I really want all the drama. do I even want AA, the only thing that sucks is not having a support group...

I am drinking right now, not drunk, but whatever....not I will not drink tomorrow, I am a binge drinkker, and not an everyday one...I have never been addicted to drugs...yes, I feel different and dont know how to stop that....always have...I never had the "spiritual awakening" though I tried very hard to pretend along with everyone else...I worked the step TWICE! Once with my sponsor, another with a step study...

The only thing I feel really guilty about posting this is, the new comer...there is tons of hope in AA, you can turn your life around, and the people are amazing, but I personally hung with older women and never conected with those of my age, and mainly because of the drug thing....I could not relate to that and it sucked, maybe I should do some hard drugs...lol...oh wait, I dont like them, I have tried and I anxiety stops me...

Well, not sure why the hell I am posting but whatever....

To tell or not to tell, and I know what everyone will say so that is a pointless question! lol

I am ok, I am still going to be off work tomorrow and carry on with my life the next day :)
Taradactyl
Taradactyl
Dangit Ashley!

I watched you change on here. It is undeniable that you made gains in AA. This is a very bad idea not to keep yourself accountable. Just my opinion. Drama? What drama? Get a startover token and try again. Or most importantly just don't drink again however you do it.

You have not lost anything except this 24 hours. Think it through when you sober up. I hope you get right back on track before depression and anxiety set in. It is so easy to forget why we got sober in the first place.

I have enjoyed SO MUCH seeing your posts since you got sober. You were one of the first people I chatted with on here over 2 years ago, and you were in so much pain then. I was super inspired when you pulled it together and everything started clicking for you.

I'm sorry you relapsed and sorry if you have to feel more pain. I hope you can put the brakes on it asap.

xoxo
deleted_user
deleted_user
I am new to this and just felt that I can relate a lot to some of your situation. I drank last night... Having that I hate myself feeling today on top of a killer hangover. I too am a binge drinker... I can go days without drinking with little effort but when the opportunity to drink arises I don't usually turn it down! And I've tried to limit my intake... It doesn't ever work (as I've heard dozens of others say but I guess I needed to learn it myself). I'm 25 and also don't feel I relate much to others my age in aa in my area. As u said, they are usually there for drug addictions which I don't have either... Alcohol was my drug of choice my while life... I guess I don't have much advice to offer seeing as how i'm looking for some myself. Its up to u if you tell ur aa group about your relapse or not... But if u don't then I guess you are pretty much lying to them and if that's the case then why even bother participating in aa if u can't be honest? Just a thought. And i'm sure you would get a, lot more support than you think... A lot I of them have probably slipped up at some point also. 15 months is a long time... Good luck to you I hope you don't slide back into your addiction.
gjm
gjm
Ash, Your justifying and rationalizing why ya drank that's one of of the things us alcoholics do. Remember one thing sooner than later if ya don't stop now and get back to where you where it will get worse like you never had the time you had. Remember those days?

I wouldn't worry about the newcomer be concerned of your own well being and do what ya need to do.
Ashley8888
Ashley8888
Again, I feel guilty for posting but I feel ok, I am happy and just needed a break form the isolation, with occasional gatherings....I am 33 nd single, not ready to be bored out of my mind and alone
billwfriend
billwfriend
I am a binger myself...that ended 16yrs ago thank my GOD....I enjoy sober life and cannot understand what about the drinking life would get me back to it again...I did not keep myself happier when I was drinking....I blotted out the bad stuff with booze...now the bad stuff is still there and I am enjoying living thru it and seeing that it does not cause me to drink....

I hope you will not die as a result of this relapse ashley....your too good a girl to go out that way...hope for some spiritual lift to get you off this new bottom....
hugs bill
deleted_user
deleted_user
I too have seen an improved attitude in your posts over the last year. One thing that alcohol does for the alcoholic, is that it makes us say "to hell with it....I'll just drink". That sounds a little like what you're saying right now.

Recently you posted about going back to school. That means you were making progress in moving ahead with a life that had been stalled at one time. Have you ever had a lost decade or two? I have......time slips away, and if you spend your 30's struggling with alcoholism, you'll be surprised at how fast you hit your 40's and wonder where the time went.

I think older people are good to connect with for the sake of wisdom, but if you need to find some younger people then try some meetings in other areas. Go into the suburbs of your city and see if the demographics of your group changes.

But don't give in because of this. It's scary how quickly you can end up back where you started, but that hasn't happened to you yet. Don't let it.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Sorry to hear, Ashley.
donttread
donttread
you'll only be bullshitting yourself Ashley. Come clean with your group and get rid of whatever is keeping you drinking.
deleted_user
deleted_user
You said "I am 33 and single, not ready to be bored out of my mind and alone "

When you first came here with a problem, you were what? 29 and single? If it wasn't working out for you at that time, then what's going to make it better this time?
deleted_user
deleted_user
AA will not work for you if you are not honest. There are plenty of people in AA who have had slips or total relapses. If they were not welcomed back then my guess is AA wouldn't be around much longer!

The most important person you must be accountable to is yourself. Look in that mirror and ask her what you should do.
deleted_user
deleted_user
Just curious as to how you are feeling today about your decision... My guess is that its looking like it probably wasnt as good of an idea as it sounded last night? I hope you can get back on track. Good luck to u
Community LeaderExJerseyGirl2
ExJerseyGirl2
I think you have to be honest. If AA isn't for you, that is a different issue.
m8bear
m8bear
SLIP...sobriety loses its priority.

You say you worked the steps twice, was it to the best of your ability in an honest, open and willing manner? Were you still working the program as per the Big Book? Did you take self will back?

You took that drink mentally long before you picked it up physically so may be worth getting honest with yourself as to what really happened.

Denial? Lack of acceptance of being an alcoholic? Only you know.

Well done for being honest though. Sorry to read and hoping you are on day one and will get to bed without a drink tonight...it doesnt have to happen again today.
deleted_user
deleted_user
"I never had the "spiritual awakening" though I tried very hard to pretend along with everyone else"..

So you think everyone else is pretending?
You don`t believe that their faith is keeping them sober?
You don`t believe that step two is working in their lives?

Looks to me that you never got step two. Your two steppen! You got the first part of the first step where we admit and the last part of the twelfth step where we carry the message.

One two, out
bambusue
bambusue
I was listening to a speaker last night who was a binge drinker. Since she could go a long time without any drinking, she had a lot of trouble with Step One. She really had to work it and re-work it to get how it applied to her situation.
Best of luck to you.
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