I have to admit, pre-pandemic when I could go to where I needed to go to remain healthy, treating my alcoholism wise, I was much more spiritual.

The coronavirus, and it's lockdowns, taught me plenty on how "no human powers can relieve our alcoholism."

I think the last 15 months has taught me that I will need to be patient, tolerant, and accepting when others, specifically others who have been given community powers by laws in society, make decisions that can be adverse to what I need to do to treat my alcoholism.

If you practice AA, and rely on going to meetings to discuss the way to treat your alcoholism with their program of 12 steps, I don't know how you didn't get resentful at the lockdowns, and the threat of the virus making you and others sick.

I think the whole ordeal allowed me to reinforce my own belief that if you are going to practice AA to treat your alcoholism, you must know the details of the program, which are in the book, and if you do a non-AA treatment of your alcoholism, you must know exactly what that consists of, so you could have applied it throughout that trying time.

I did notice that not going to as many meetings, I got fairly negative, wasn't able to identify my harmful resentments enough, and felt as if I didn't have to work as hard on recovering.

I didn't think of drinking, but I noticed my thinking got fairly negative, and that negativity didn't really have the power to envision that it might lead to a drink.

My sponsee and I's relationship deteriorated, specifically because his wife didn't want him going out of the house, and that was right in the middle of our step work, so make a long story short, he's a one man show right now and just calls when he's feeling bad, not really when he wants to discuss the steps.

I personally believe the coronavirus and it's lockdown's made me more mentally ill from all the control and telling us all what to do than it could have made me physically ill. I hindsight I think I would have just rather risked getting sick like during a flu season, but I admit I am not a doctor and also thought it was a real threat to elderly people and others with poor immune systems, so I did find some relief in knowing at least the lockdowns did have a purpose to save lives, even though that might have been a bit exploited for special interest reasons.

In conclusion, my chances of not taking a drink going forward will be much higher if we never experience that ever again, however, the precedent has already been set, and before I die, God willing, we'll probably go through this ordeal again, however, I think the next time the people will be much more less understanding if the orders don't have clear and indisputable information backing them.

As an alcoholic the lockdowns were such a source of resentment not because like I said they were trying to save lives, but because the information wasn't ever really clear or without a doubt impossible to argue against. For example, some people saw the masks as a germ rag, 100 percent adverse to stopping the spread of a virus, and others claimed the mask despite it being a germ rag asked to be worn daily, was 100 percent the only way to prevent the spread, so me as an alcoholic, who cannot really afford to be frustrated overly from outside human powers that are controlling my life with their implications, struggled with that specifically to be blunt.

Another portion of the ordeal that really had me getting to a point where I felt the resentment of it was tempting me to drink possibly going forward, was how people in power with no shame made it all a political theatre, and how to this day, if you believe differently from others in regards to the virus and the responses to the virus, you in return might get a negative reaction from them, as if your free thought and opinion on a worldly event was a crime. I really kind of struggled with that resentment and fear because my personal circle had a different opinion on some of the lockdown reasons than myself, and it was tough because I felt like I wasn't being given the right to express what was going on inside of me, in how I was analyzing the whole witnessing with my own eyes, and how that analysis right or wrong, never really was given consideration.

When I ask myself if there was anything positive that came out of the ordeal, I struggle to do so. Most of it is superficial like I got to watch more Netflix and got money I may or may not have earned through laws that felt giving me money without me having to work is somehow beneficial to me. I did get to write a lot, and I did get to connect deeper with who I really am on the inside and how it is absolutely ok with me and with God to be secure in who I am, regardless if the whole world is having a problem with it or not.

I kind of saw who my real friends were too, I at first during the lockdowns was very active on social media, I felt like it was an opportunity to participate in "social" ideology, and boy am I glad I did, because I saw by doing that, most of it is all bull****. In fact, if I hadn't been forced to lockdown, I wouldn't have been that invested in participating in the social discussions purposed on social media, and I wouldn't have seen how that apparatus is extremely dangerous for societies that were founded on free thought and free intellect. I would try to have meaningful discussions with people on popular topics and it was just a big waste of time. It became such a big waste of time, and experience of friction over faith building if you will that I felt as if I just grew up one minute in regards to it all and checked out of all my accounts and that whole deal. Since I let go of social media participation, I have less resentments and less reason to call others morons.

I really saw though being lockdown how all that stuff bred out of technology an the technology industry is interwoven with each other and there is a small faction of people controlling it all, and I don't like small factions controlling something that is trending or trendy in free society, in fact, I think it is immature to do so, but I also think it is grounds for resentment and a more less peaceful personal experience if you give it the time of day, so it was very healthy for me to let all that go, and to have some sort of self-esteem telling me inside that I am bigger than this, and this is not worth my time. I felt like I was playing some game I wasn't ever interested in from day one and goal of the game was to fool me into thinking outside of how I normally think and was born to think, freely.

All that lead to me not watching the news anymore, which has been a huge blessing, I check the weather and look at sports stats, that about it, I don't listen to the talking heads anymore, you couldn't pay me to watch a "informative" show with talking points who people rambling on about subjects that if I don't pay attention, usually end up all being manufactured not typically in reality, and my life is really much better since I let go of all that stuff, social media, and television.

I probably would have still been thinking social media and technology, including television programs, were must haves if there wasn't a coronavirus lockdown. So if there was one bright thing that came out of power hungry individuals forcing the societies they were granted to order around to stay at home because old people and sick people would die (which may or may not have even be true) it was I was able to shed some of the crap I find important in life, which is usually always things bigger than me in worldly terms not at all interested in investing in me, but acting like they only want to invest in me automatically investing in themselves first.

I don't know if that made sense and could really care less if it did, because I gave it may all in this response. I was pissed that I didn't really have the resolve to go to a meeting, go to the gym, and be a constant producer this morning, but your post, and my response, helped me to remember that God runs this show, and this is all his creation, when I remember that, it's impossible to hold on to resentment.

I can't really explain it, but I feel like I earned a bunch of truths by being in lockdown, it really forced me to think about what I pay attention to and why I do so many things I really hate to do, but do because I am either resentful or fearful of society, and how stupid it can behave, and when I use the word stupid I mean it kind of in an endearing way, like we all have such power to do things that ultimately are bull**** and a huge waste of time, so I guess I stayed sober during the lockdown by having my time or routine to recover taken away, but also saw that inside my routine and time that I do behave towards a recovery, it also is a bunch of bull**** and not always as important as me remembering this is God's show, and people just think they are doing something, but if you have major level humility, you know, people aint doing shit!

Good hearing from you and know you’re doing well. I had three years sobriety going into the pandemic and didn’t really have any struggles other than cabin fever, which I resolved by camping most of last summer. It did occur to me a few times that if I had been still drinking, I would have been a real lush during the lockdown. So thankful to be sober four years now and seeing so many friends here living the good life as well!

Lockdown forced me to have a good, hard look at myself......................and I didn't like what I saw. I became sober and in a few weeks will make my milestone of a year. Everyone handled it differently, and I chose to fix myself & work on life long issues - but realise I am very fortunate to have taken that path, as so many either became alcoholics, or their drinking became out of control. I think it depends alot on being self-reflective, having insight, hitting the depths of despair, and really, really wanting to do the work needed to change it. Today I am so grateful to be sober. !!!

Hi and well done on the continuing sobriety. Like Kevin I had enough time to know better than to start drinking. If anything I had a healthier life during the pandemic. More walking and the most productive garden I’ve ever had.
The intention to be my own best friend grew stronger.
Simply loving myself has rocked my world.