Yup! Nothing changes if nothing changes and with me, everything had to change. Some folks who seem to be saying the same things over and over and asking for "advice" don't seem to be willing to make the necessary changes to get well.....not at all taking the advice being given and expecting a miracle to occur without putting in any work.

Change takes effort, effort requires willingness, willingness requires acceptance. Just my thoughts....

Oh for sure gjm. Just a simple step forward requires you to change where your standing now. Thats an action, as is recovery. Without a willing spirit, change is not possible. But with one, you can change and grow.

SUPG, I really can't stress enough about changing the habitual behaviors of your brain. Your thinking process get so comfortable with its malady, that it is just like a default setting.
Battlefield of the mind as my friend Joyce M. would preach.
I do have to say that AA's design for living gave me this oppurtunity.

not intended towards yourself or HC but, duh! Anybody that doesnt think there's to be change, embrace it, yearn for it, isnt being honest with themselves or is, well, just plain ignorant.

or maybe they arent alcoholic and just like attention. (attention whore, he he that's funny)

Well GBP, that was me for a long time. Change is something I wasn't willing to embrace for many many years. And it's a reality for some of the people here today.

Does attention make them come to the solution any sooner? I agree we were probably all there at one time, and for some time, but come, get answers to your questions and take action.

If we continue to come for ATTENTION and not take the advice that is given (which is often quite diverse, mind you), well my point is that you either are not alcoholic (definitions readily available) and seeking attention, or you aren't ready for change (elevator not at bottom floor yet). Either way, there's little chance of helping (as defined, the alcholic must move off of square 1).

Sometimes powers greater than ourselves forces change.
Powers greater than me~~ did for me~~ what I could do for myself,, I do firmly believe that.

If everyone did what you suggest GBP everyone in & out of recovery would have found the golden key & there would be no struggles. Unfortunately from my exp. & the the people that responded here know many just don't get it or its just takes time.

Have a good night.

Rob-I think you're right in that the people who come on here forever saying the same things over and over for long lengths of time and receive the same advice over and over are either a) not ready or willing to change or b) attention seeking. Of course there are exceptions and there are other factors in play.

I just think that for me, the change didn't come until after the acceptance & willingness & effort. It didn't just fall in my lap which is what many would like. Hell, I'd like that too if like could just magically improve without me having to do anything, but I found that didn't happen. I had to do something and acceptance was the key. (where'd I hear that one?) It's soooo true for me. Once I had that, the rest was attainable.

for me change i did find i difficult as i was scared to walk in to the comfort zone as to waht i knew... i was going in to unknown... but change for me is about honesty , openness and willingness and acceptance without it i will not get anywhere... change can be a good thing too as its all new ...

HC - you said what I was trying to say, but a hell of a lot clearer.

Thanks.

and gjm, no offense. Appreciate your posts.

i think i will rephrase wat i said as it may of not made sense wat i meant is i was stuck in a comfort zone which i knew .. only too well and steping out of that comfort zone was very scary as i was walking out of mycomfort zone out to the unknown zone such as chaniging everything!!

Right on timmy.