I had the same issue after 21 days of rehab. You feel so good when you are there, when you get to the real world that is when it is next to impossible unless you use the tools. I have yet to become sober, and I know I need the support of AA and a sponsor to get back to a "normal" functioning human being. Hang in there!

I went to rehab also but after a 3 week iop, I had 3 months of once a week relapse prevention group therapy which really helped me to use the tools I was taught in the real world. I avoid my triggers at all costs, like, staying out of bars and away from all of my former beer drinking friends.

Been doing that for 3 years and am sober because of that! Don't give up!

TC

thanx.yes....I don't have urges every day.I could go weeks without drinking,but than when the urge come,it is very intense ,insane....I don't care about nothing or no one...just about drink.it is utter hell.Binge drinking is killer.yuck.

I found that AA gave me the "intensive outpatient program" I needed. I could go as frequently as I needed (daily, sometimes multiple times a day), kept me associating with sober alcoholics instead of associating with my own screwed up thinking and it fit my budget.

also having a lots of trauma in past and struggling with opening up make it worst.
Just trying to -let go and let God...but it feels strange.
I 'literally feel like I'm mentally sick,otherwise why would I poison my self,every time I drink I'm miserable.But still relapses happen to me at least 8-15 times a year.BAD relapse,when i end up in ER,alcohol poisoning etc.
My typical reaction to people if they ask me if-I'm OK,would be smile and say -yea I'm great ,even though I'm struggling and falling in the alcoholic pit.

and after relapse dealing with the self hatred and trying to get back and forgive my self.Looking in people's eyes and feel fine,after i felt like i hurt them with my isanity.
I drink lemon extract for God sake....it is 80% alcohol.But the morning after drinking,my hungover was so intense I would drink anything to numb.:-(

For me I found, it's a process. Part of the process is finding exactly how powerless I am over drugs and alcohol. It took what it took to get each and every one of us people in recovery to the exact point of surrender. One of my favorite things to say at my AA/NA tables is "it took every drink and every drug to get my knees under this table". One of the simplest but most powerful statements I ever heard at a table I was sitting at: "Don't worry because in the end everything will be alright. If everything isn't alright, it isn't the end yet."

Thanks for your post europagrl. It came right when I needed to read about someone's experience strength and hopes. I believe that you're well on your way. God bless you on your journey to freedom and sobriety.

That's my exp. also. Went 4 times and 3 of them didn't get out of the parking lot before putting some type of mind altering substance in my body. Rehab didn't do it for my obviously but the pain sometime later did and finally had the wiliness to surrender. Sounds like your plan it good one.

Wish ya the best.

I went to rehab several times, but couldn't stay sober. Sure, I learned alot about me disease, but I didn't learn about myself and why I drank. It wasn't until I committed myself to AA and got honest that I was able to learn enough about myself to get and stay sober.

Keep trying. Alcoholism is a disease. There is hope but only when you concede to your innermost self that you are in fact a alcoholic. Why did you pick up a drink after rehab? It's simple. You wanted to.

I've never been to rehab and I see posts from those who have been there referring to using the "tools" once rehab is over. Pardon my ignorance, but what exactly are the tools? After several posts lately regarding this, I'm curious.

Thanks.

The tools-relapse preventation.They showed you how to live drug free and that I could never put a mind-altering substance in my body ever again
They teach you how to be dependent on yourself and how to respect yourself...A lots of God talk.

I hear some resentment in your words..... a shame.

You will get out of Rehab or AA exactly what you put into it.

Tools do not work unless you use them

Keep it simple stupid
don't drink even if you arse falls off
create a group to talk with
HALT hungry angry lonely or tired.

Have a look at your diet

etc etc I use most and I am not AA

lol

I think one of the reasons people drink again after rehab (besides being an alcoholic) is that they do not follow threw with the after care reccomendations. We are so insulated in rehab-it is so safe. I do think the best transition out of rehab is to live in a recovery house. Most of us don't do this however (I didn't) because we see this as beneath us, inconvenient, we have kids (my thing), too expensive....

But that said, I got out of rehab, got really really bad and hit bottom. ANd then I got sober for good.

Chris-the tools you learn in rehab are like someone said-tools for learning how to live. For me, I learned how to live a balanced life. At age 38-having to learn how to live? Yeah, I really needed to get down to the basics. Rehab helped with that along with just provide directions by way of group therapy/AA, individual counseling, health stuff, how to exercise (LOL-I needed this too).....

Now Europa-there can be a happy ending here. Get working!

This reminds me that alcohol is 'cunning baffling and powerful'.

Until you get a new solution/answer, you will continue to use the tools you use to escape (as you say about drinking on past things).

Go get a sponsor who has HP, a sponsor themselves and works the steps on a daily basis and get on with them. You will be amazed.

I am glad you are not giving up.