This is what its all about, people helping people.

Yes it is. The more we remember that the better off we'll all be.

Thanks for posting this.

Hi,
I like this post.
I'm new to this forum but I sought help from AA initially on another AA forum.
I got sober on there, found my sponser on there, started to work the steps with her help and took step 1,2 and 3 with her online before I even met her.(she lives in a different country to me).
I live out in the sticks and access to F2F meetings is very difficult for me.
Most of my AA is online, I have met AA people from all over the world and have been lucky to have met a few of them in person when they came to visit, a lot of them will remain lifelong friends.
I am sober now 2 years and 4 months.
It's the same message be it written or spoken.

Congrats on the 2 yr 4 mo!

That's cool.

Bump, any more thoughts on "recovery"

Do we carry the message or do we carry the drunk? The answer to that seems to be much less clear here than it is in real-time AA, and I think we need to talk about it.

Interesting point Nemo

I remember my first AA meeting. It was held in the treatment center I was in. I looked around at "these" people and they were pleasant, smiling laughing, hugging one another or shaking hands. That didn't impress me.

But when a woman stood up and began telling her story, I heard that "language of the heart". It spoke to me clearer than any psychiatrist, family member or doctor ever had. She didn't realize it, I'm sure but she was speaking directly to me!

What I heard was that she had been a hopeless alcoholic (like me!), applied herself to a simple program (huh?) and today didn't crave, obsess on or want a drink and that she had a life worth living today.

I can still "hear" that language whether it's spoken directly to me or written today. I'd been looking for a solution to the Greek tragedy that my life was all my life. I was desperate enough to hear it that night. Thank God.

I agree Nemo....if some of these topics were brought up in any recovery circle face to face, whether it be aa or smart recovery or what have you, I'm sure the direction would be changed to recovery rather than stuff like "what was your favorite drink?" or "what's the dumbest thing you ever did while drunk?"

The only solution to unhelpful posts that cloud the board from those who really want help is to stop answering them. That's the only way I can think to contribute to a solution.

We can talk about it all day yet we've been there, done that, and nothing has changed. I just don't feed into the bs threads.

When I first came here there was so much disfunction I did not know what to think. Being so young in the program and still be easily influenced I found myself being wrapped up in the drama.

I started getting a sick feeling in participating and almost stopped. The only thing that kept me here was a good friend who at the time was one of the toxic ones told me that if all the healthy people left then where would this place be.

I have two choices. 1. I can not participate in toxic post. 2. I can counter act them with love. I do not have the choice to leave because when someone reaches out it is my respondsability to be there.

I still do not participate as much as I could. I do not really give that many direct suggestions. But I am here if anyone every wants what I have to offer.

I live the program to the best of my ability every day of my life and will continue to do so until its over.

The principles of this program will change your life forever if you let it. Do not let a handfull of self centered sick people keep from you what is so freely offer.

:)Lisa(:

PS I brought up the topic of inventory one time which is a must in anyones recovery and no one participating including the ones on this thread.

If you did I'm not directing this at you but most did not.

Nemo, I think we need to also. Care to take the lead?

gjm,

I think a lot of mutual misunderstanding and disagreement persists, both within AA and in the eyes of observers, over what we mean by welcome and support. The 12 step process is, after all, an endeavor of relentless ego-deflation to which we commit ourselves for the rest of our lives. So those who are expecting the sort of support that cancer survivors give each other are simply going to be put off and baffled when they see how we interact. It's hard to put into words, but the Big Book says of itself (p. 45), "Its [this book's] main object is to enable you to find a Power greater than yourself which will solve your problem."

In other words, the sort of help that I, for one, try to offer is more along the lines of telling how I learned to swim or ride a bicycle than it is about helping them to feel comfortable in their "journey" and welcome in a group. We're not sharing happy vacation stories here. We're talking about a disease that brought us to a state of terror, bewilderment, frustration and incomprehensible demoralization. We can show others the motions, but just like other subjective experiences as flotation and balance, the desire to stop drinking can't be given or imparted.

It can only be described in terms that encourage the newcomer to try, but that trying is then left entirely up to him. Sooner or later the water wings or the training wheels have to come off, and the newcomer has to decide for him or herself if sobriety is what they want.

That is entirely up tp them, a decision that only they can make for themselves in the privacy of their own hearts. It's only when they become desperate enough to risk stepping up to this degree of personal accountability that the recovery experience can be described in a way that's both practical and meaningful.