Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
This is for those of you who "can't take it anymore". You are not alone. We have been where you are...
My downfall was fast. For 20 or so years, I drank "successfully". I felt okay for a long time. I was drinking a bottle or 2 of wine every night but it was predictable... work, drink, blackout, passout, repeat.
In the last year something happened. I lost control. My weekend binges lasted 5 days instead of 2. The bottles of wine turned to fifths of rum. I drank as though my life depended on it. I started missing work or going in drunk. My blackouts lasted days. I even started having sober "blackouts" where I couldn't remember things from the previous day. I would lose my thoughts mid sentence and start to sweat and shake.
I started having anxiety attacks. I started verbally abusing the people I loved. I isolated. I tried klonopin but soon started taking those in addition to the booze. I took a dozen pills at a time. Everything stopped working. I couldn't get my "fix". I was in misery drunk AND sober. I tried over and over and over to get and stay sober with CONVICTION and all the determination I could muster, but the irrational FUCKITS overwhelmed me every time. Insanity. I came to understand POWERLESSNESS.
I was full of shame that I couldn't get and keep control. I was scared. Terrified of what was happening to me. Every time I picked up a drink, I worried I would die by accident or by my own hand. And I kept drinking.
AA saved me. I learned as much as I could about my problem. I learned I was not alone. I learned I had nothing to be ashamed of. They told me to keep coming back. They loved me until I could love myself. They told me there was a solution if I wanted it. I thought I was different. I didn't think it would work for ME. I didn't think I wanted their solution. But I kept going back. They kept welcoming me even when I was too ashamed to speak or make eye contact after yet another relapse. They just kept extending their hand. They told me I was the most important person in the room. They understood. I was not alone anymore. I found help and I found similarities. I was not unique afterall. We had a bond in our common problem.
I am only 102 days sober, but I am all of 102 days sober and grateful. I never imagined sobriety was a possibility for me. I never imagined I would be as happy and hopeful as I am today. This is doable.
No matter how far down you've gone. Scared. Anxiety ridden. Powerless. Hopeless. There is a solution if you want it. If you can't take it anymore, there is help. You are not alone. You don't have to be ashamed anymore.
If you haven't found another solution to work for you, try AA. It is a simple program and it works for many who are willing to do the work that it takes to live happily sober. It is working for me. It will only get better from here on out. I never have to take another drink.
My downfall was fast. For 20 or so years, I drank "successfully". I felt okay for a long time. I was drinking a bottle or 2 of wine every night but it was predictable... work, drink, blackout, passout, repeat.
In the last year something happened. I lost control. My weekend binges lasted 5 days instead of 2. The bottles of wine turned to fifths of rum. I drank as though my life depended on it. I started missing work or going in drunk. My blackouts lasted days. I even started having sober "blackouts" where I couldn't remember things from the previous day. I would lose my thoughts mid sentence and start to sweat and shake.
I started having anxiety attacks. I started verbally abusing the people I loved. I isolated. I tried klonopin but soon started taking those in addition to the booze. I took a dozen pills at a time. Everything stopped working. I couldn't get my "fix". I was in misery drunk AND sober. I tried over and over and over to get and stay sober with CONVICTION and all the determination I could muster, but the irrational FUCKITS overwhelmed me every time. Insanity. I came to understand POWERLESSNESS.
I was full of shame that I couldn't get and keep control. I was scared. Terrified of what was happening to me. Every time I picked up a drink, I worried I would die by accident or by my own hand. And I kept drinking.
AA saved me. I learned as much as I could about my problem. I learned I was not alone. I learned I had nothing to be ashamed of. They told me to keep coming back. They loved me until I could love myself. They told me there was a solution if I wanted it. I thought I was different. I didn't think it would work for ME. I didn't think I wanted their solution. But I kept going back. They kept welcoming me even when I was too ashamed to speak or make eye contact after yet another relapse. They just kept extending their hand. They told me I was the most important person in the room. They understood. I was not alone anymore. I found help and I found similarities. I was not unique afterall. We had a bond in our common problem.
I am only 102 days sober, but I am all of 102 days sober and grateful. I never imagined sobriety was a possibility for me. I never imagined I would be as happy and hopeful as I am today. This is doable.
No matter how far down you've gone. Scared. Anxiety ridden. Powerless. Hopeless. There is a solution if you want it. If you can't take it anymore, there is help. You are not alone. You don't have to be ashamed anymore.
If you haven't found another solution to work for you, try AA. It is a simple program and it works for many who are willing to do the work that it takes to live happily sober. It is working for me. It will only get better from here on out. I never have to take another drink.
I know there are people reading here that are afraid to post and don't know where to turn. I am just trying to lend a hand to a friend.
This is one of those times that hearing 'I told ya so' is a Good, good thing...because yeah, I told ya so...that this will be something that you can and will do, as many of us here and out there in your meetings have shared with you.
It's something we all know to be true as we are sober for a little while. It's something that we love and appreciate and should never take for granted like I did. (o;
Love ya, sweets!
You are awesome and an inspiration to me. Thank you for sharing a bit of yourself. It gives me renewed hope, with one day at a time, I also can do this. God Bless AA!
The pain brought me to the light. Pain is a great motivator.
Keep keepin it real HTL!!! It is working, let us stay in the process.
Darrell
It is incredible to be sitting this side of that sobriety line. Putting each day behind me like a chink in my belt or a sticker on my chores board. Man I loved stickers as a kid. haha what a silly thing to remember.
Thanks for letting me type. Sharing is the best remedy I know. Thank you AA and Daily Strength. With out you I would be at the Irish Pub singing loudly and turning in the keys for my house, fiance, and sober life. I would be voluntarily giving that away.
Darrell,
haha, I never want to sober up again either. That stuff hurts. That is the real strong stuff. Reality after alcohol abuse, that is the real stiff drink.