Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
I would like to propose that a truce be called between the dedicated AA clan and those who profess other legitimate routes to sobriety. While I have only been on this site for just over 4 months, I have witnessed a distressing number of occasions where AA members have taken offense to what I would consider to be legitimate and fairly presented challenges to their program. I personally have actually been accused of coming into this discussion group with the sole purpose of sabotaging AA! That makes about as much sense as claiming our President was born in Africa!
While I realize that AA is a popular and well established program, my understanding is that this discussion group is meant to provide both support and learning in regards to those afflicted with an addiction to alcohol. Part of that is pointing out where you believe some programs are effective and where others may need improvement. When every challenge to a program is met with personal negative remarks rather than thoughtful and reasoned debate, you get the feeling that those supporting the program have little other than blind-faith to offer as a basis for following their prescribed route to sobriety.
All I am asking is that we allow for a free exchange of ideas and opinions regarding ALL programs without any dedicated group members immediately taking offense.
While I realize that AA is a popular and well established program, my understanding is that this discussion group is meant to provide both support and learning in regards to those afflicted with an addiction to alcohol. Part of that is pointing out where you believe some programs are effective and where others may need improvement. When every challenge to a program is met with personal negative remarks rather than thoughtful and reasoned debate, you get the feeling that those supporting the program have little other than blind-faith to offer as a basis for following their prescribed route to sobriety.
All I am asking is that we allow for a free exchange of ideas and opinions regarding ALL programs without any dedicated group members immediately taking offense.
1. A temporary cessation or suspension of hostilities by agreement of the opposing sides; an armistice.
2. A respite from a disagreeable state of affairs.
For a truce to be successful, it must usually be observed by both sides. It looks to me as if in this particular truce, only the AA people are being asked to abide by the conditions. Is it still a truce if one side continues to snipe while pretending to offer the hand of peace?
Does tolerance work each way or is it just AA people who must show restraint?
Is heated debate on an internet forum a healthy thing and something that would be useful to an alcoholic who comes to the scene for the first time, lost and without hope? Should such a person be denied knowledge about something that has worked for many?
I dont have the answers and dont care much about pointless debates so I will occasionally mention what has worked for me. If my mention of AA is offensive to you, please use the ignore button and post what has worked for you.
I have a close friend who has been in AA for over 30 years and that "clan" is her whole foundation for sobriety. Nearly all her friends are AA members and she even attends the annual conference on a regular basis. Contrast that with someone like me who has only been sober for 4 months and has based my sobriety on a few books and this discussion board.
I have made a conscious decision that I do not want to belong to the AA group or any sobriety group for the rest of my life. I want to keep alcohol out of my life and create a new life without it. That is the path I have chosen for now, and it seems to be working for me.
I hope you (and others) can get beyond your feelings that AA is being unfairly persecuted. It just ain't happening. From my perspective, the challenges to the AA credo that I have seen posted are legitimate and worthy of discussion and even debate. And who knows, maybe AA will even consider some changes to their 12 step approach? Change is often a good thing.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Y3Q7H2urto&list=PL9285D44ED7F7B18B
From what I'm reading, people aren't interested in that. I think that the trigger word is "debate," which for some folks (in general) is synonymous with "criticize" and "attack." I believe that people who come to this site, especially newcomers, want some direction and advice and not lectures.
I don't have high hopes that the powers that be at the heart of the AA organization are going to read suggestions from a message board and make any fundamental changes to a program that has been in existence forever and has helped many. But, you never know.
(Disclaimer, I don't practice AA rules or go to meetings, but know that many people use it to get and stay sober.)
You have a friend with 30 years of sobriety, due to AA but her "clan" seems to bother you or threaten you.
AA is not for everyone, but I'm quite amazed that you have a friend who is successful in not drinking, but you choose not to emulate them.
We have also discussed other substances. Is your issue against AA about having to give up everything, or that it seems like a cult?
TexiCallie said:
It would be helpful to me if someone could link to specific instances of these offending posts and comments.
How about this one?
Recurring theme: other methods than AA, and a continued failure. AA is a life-changer.
I did not follow my friend who is a long time AA member because I did not want a lifelong association with any group to be a prerequisite for my sobriety. Also, I do not see myself as incurably diseased or genetically different from anyone else in regards to alcohol. Once again, that seems to be a popular theme at AA. I guess it is fair to say that I simply did not want to take on all those trappings to become and remain sober. And I think it is also fair to say that if someone can get and stay sober without turning themselves over forever to a "higher power" to deal with an "incurable disease", why wouldn't they?
"But you have to give it away to get it. Perhaps they don't feel like you're giving away enough? "
Said to somebody who posted that they felt out-of-place and judged at an AA meeting.
I don't see how the actions of one serves as an overwhelming indictment of the many other DS members who have followed to path of AA to sobriety.
"an overwhelming indictment of the many other DS members who have followed the path of AA to sobriety"
Really? This is the kind of posting that gets people riled up and rallies the AA troops, but does little to educate or inform people on the subject of alcohol addiction. There has simply been no "overwhelming indictment" of AA that I have seen. Maybe that happened in the past and poisoned the well? Yes, some people do believe the AA approach is flawed in some ways, but that is hardly an overwhelming indictment.