Attagirl! Congrats on Day 3. Are you considering any program to help you along?

Hey -- that's wonderful! Not so much dealing with theuncontrollable step family or an insubordinate employee threatening a lawsuit... that's not high on the Wonderful List.

But the dealing with all this and not drinking?

You rock! Keep it up and hopefully tomorrow will be smoother for you.

I had met with an addiction's counselor prior to making the decision to stop drinking. I am also reading the Allen Carr "Easy Way to Control Alcohol" book. I have not joined a program as I live in a rural area and am concerned about confidentiality. I haven't yet been able to figure out which of the few meetings are closed meetings. I know that one of our local colleges requires nursing and social work students to attend an AA meeting as an observer. I cannot risk someone seeing me at a meeting and reporting it back to my agency. I am in a "sensitive" classification and it could impact my job. Finding lots of support on here though!!!

AA, SMART Recovery, and Women For Sobriety all have online meetings or moderated chat sessions. If you can't make face-to-face meetings and want that type of support you might want to check them out.

At the center of Women For Sobriety's are 13 affirmations:

http://womenforsobriety.org/beta2/new-life-program/13-affirmations/

If this is something that rings true for you, you will find a lot of positive support from this group.

SMART Recovery has a good online toolkit in addition to online meetings:

http://www.smartrecovery.org/resources/toolchest.htm

I'm not sure which online AA meetings are the best. I attended some a while back - I think I used this group, but there are other options as well that will come up in a google search:

http://www.aaonline.net/

I ended up not using a program but have found the support here on DS to be helpful, especially in the first months.

Hi lostnursetoo, the only online AA approved meeting and discussion group can be found here

www.e-aa.org

You can go to aa.org
Select 'how to find meetings'
Select resources in the US etc
Select 'for info about online meetings'
Select the aa-intergroup weblink ON the aa.org website

This will redirect you to many online meetings Including Jersey's link above. You can find them all at aa.org - I'm sure if aa.org didn't want you to look into these online groups, they wouldn't have a link on their 'official' website redirecting members to them.

There's much friendship with AA all over the internet including a couple of sub groups here at DS "aaspokenhere' and also' 'aafriends' which are open for everyone. Yep, not official AA, but you're welcome to join in at both groups as I'm sure you are at many AA friendly websites and resources around the internet.

Thanks everyone! I am not at all against AA or any other support group, just worried about confidentiality and a also by nature a very private person. I am sure this results from being a child of an alcoholic and being taught that you did not talk about Dad's drinking or the havoc that it created. To give an example, my father once broke dining room chairs over the kitchen countertop because my mom put lemon sauce on gingerbread (versus a cream cheese icing)!! We witnessed this, had to help clean it up the next morning and then tell friends and family that mom had decided to redecorate!! Not talking publicly about drinking is ingrained in me!

I read your last post and the first thought that entered my mind was, "The lemon sauce sounds lovely -- even nicer than cream cheese frosting. See how alcohol warps our thinking!" (joking)

I'm sorry you had to deal with an alcoholic father growing up -- I had an alcoholic sister and that was tough enough. Having an alcoholic father with a temper must have been frightening.

Plenty of people quit without meetings and without programs (about 10% of alcoholics per year quit on their own) so keep going strong and don't doubt yourself.

Thanks Antonia and Coogie for providing better links to online AA resources. I went to online meetings recommended by someone here to check them out -- sounds like there are better options than what I posted.

Yes, I hear you - I was terrified the first time I went to a meeting and it took me about six months before I could talk in the meeting. No-one has to do anything they are uncomfortable with.

Online meetings certainly have a place but many are not moderated, like this site is not moderated and we all know that internet can be openi to abuse or used for other purposes that were not intended.

I had the benefit of someone from AA coming to visit me at home before I went to a meeting. This service was offered to me and I was pleased to accept. This came from calling my local AA helpline. I learned a bit about AA and was met at my first meeting so I did not have to walk in alone.

My anxiety and depression lifted once I got a quality of sobriety so it might be the same for you. It would help to see a doctor or a counsellor too if you are suffering unduly.

I wish you well whatever path you find that helps you.

An afterthought, I have seen quite a few members here who mention they benefitted from Adult Children of Alcoholics here's a link to their website, it is also a 12 Step programme

http://www.adultchildren.org

when I first sobered up, I would park my car around back of the building AA was in. It took me 4 months so speak at a meeting I was so afraid someone would see my car. Hell, as if everybody didn't know I had a problem with alcohol, lol! And trying to fool others into thinking I was ok was exhausting.

Maybe you could try one meeting and see what you think. Just get there early and sit in the back I bet you'll wind up in the front! Hugs, Dianna

Beyond the drinking bit, I completely get the disrespect thing! I mean really just get over yourself already.. Although can't say I always loved everyone I worked for either.. lol..But I'm much better now.. lol.. Or at least I stopped caring as much...T4Life

Hello lostnursetoo,

As already suggested, it may be a good idea to remove yourself from the source of temptation if that is possible.

Ultimately, you cannot rely on the support of your husband or other people in order to stay sober as it is something that you need to do yourself. A couple of days ago you were under some pressure in dealing with your stepfamily and an employee and now you are faced with another common difficulty that people experience in early sobriety. I know that you have issues about attending AA meetings but it would be wise for you to find some sort of support mechanism, whether that is AA or some alternative. Your post is entitled Feeling of resentment and this is a feeling that leaves many alcoholics in an early grave. You have done well so far and I hope that continues but even in your previous post, the feeling of resentment towards other people was obvious. What AA offers you is a way to understand how those resentments arise, how to deal with them and to develop a new way of reacting to people, places and things so that new resentments do not arise.

What others do is not the problem here and you do not have to copy them. If you cannot get away for a few days there are plenty of activities that you can use to remove yourself from the source of temptation. Stay safe and sober.

Sorry, previous post was meant for another thread: "Feeling of resentment".

Thanks PJ, just feeling uncharacteristically grumpy this morning!! I assume this is normal early on and I need to change my attitude on drinking being a privilege that I am "being denied'. Not drinking is my choice and although I was encouraged not to do so by my husband, it is my choice. I guess I can't feel resentment for people not supporting me when I have not asked for their support! Realizing that not drinking is easy, it's overcoming the desire to drink or feeling like I am being denied what others are free to do that I am just now struggling with. I will get past this!!