Feeling no sense of worth? Not loving myself?
Sure did. It also said that since I was worthless any love I gave to others had no meaning.
I've spend a bit of time in AA. I found a whole bunch of people that didn't see me as worthless, who vowed to love me until I learned to love myself. I have a God who loves me and gives me direction and purpose through service to others.
This didn't happen overnight. It took a long time for me to accept that others could love me. Once I got the sense of that, I found that I was able to love myself and others. One of the promises of the program...
It can be done, and you can do it...

Hugs,
Dennis

I did, yes. I had to stop drinking, and go through all 12 steps in order, to get some clarity. What I found is that even though was I not capable of loving myself in the past, I always held myself responsible for things that were way out of my control. I was living in fear. Until I recognized that fear, that was behind the anger, and the self loathing, I couldnt recover.
Thanks to God, the 12 steps, a sponsor, sponsees, etc. today I can actually love others. I can also have compassion for myself, especially for the child that I was.
And I can live in today. There are two days I can't worry about, and that yesterday and tomorrow;-)

This might help. From Women For Sobriety:


1. I have a life-threatening problem that once had me.
Affirmation: I now take charge of my life. I accept the responsibility.

2. Negative thoughts destroy only myself.
Affirmation: My first conscious act must be to remove negativity from my life.

3. Happiness is a habit I will develop.
Affirmation: Happiness is created, not waited for.

4. Problems bother me only to the degree I permit them to.
Affirmation: I now better understand my problems and do not permit problems to overwhelm me.

5. I am what I think.
Affirmation: I am a capable, competent, caring, compassionate woman.

6. Life can be ordinary or it can be great.
Affirmation: Greatness is mine by a conscious effort.

7. Love can change the course of my world.
Affirmation: Caring becomes all important.

8. The fundamental object of life is emotional and spiritual growth.
Affirmation: Daily I put my life into a proper order, knowing which are the priorities.

9. The past is gone forever.
Affirmation: No longer will I be victimized by the past, I am a new person.

10. All love given returns.
Affirmation: I will learn to know that others love me.

11. Enthusiasm is my daily exercise.
Affirmation: I treasure all moments of my new life.

12. I am a competent woman and have much to give life.
Affirmation: This is what I am and I shall know it always.

13. I am responsible for myself and for my actions.
Affirmation: I am in charge of my mind, my thoughts, and my life.


To make the Program effective for you, arise each morning fifteen minutes earlier than usual and go over the Thirteen Affirmations. Then begin to think about each one by itself. Take one Statement and use it consciously all day. At the end of the day review the use of it and what effects it had that day for you and your actions.

I hear You! For me I think self acceptance is the key I've spent many years just doing the best I could with my own ,in a sense unique personality! On top of AA, the steps, therapy and meditation I've done a lot of reading in different ways to, in a healthy way find acceptance with my sensitive and complex History . I recall a woman name of Karen who had been a Nurse in the Army all her life, saying quite adamantly .....The key to being reasonably Happy with yourself is to find your Niche!!.. in this complicated life and build on that !!

Whatever spiritual healing is Sometimes in takes choosing a approach and sticking to that approach for awhile before moving on to other healing measures...it seems to blend together better !
Billy

The reason I did things to destroy myself is because I have the mind and body of an alcoholic!

I was broken too - thank God, because it made me teachable. While my ego was intact nothing and no-one could reach me. Alcoholism is full of paradoxes like being egocentric and having low self-worth at the same time and I know that is possible because I have lived it.

It would have been unrealistic to expect to love myself while hurting and harming myself and others. I was spiritually, physically and mentally sick.

For me the 12 Steps showed me how to learn humility, come to terms with the past and put right, to the best of my ability, harms done and stop selfishly thinking about me, me, me all the time and start to grow spiritually through putting my God in the driving seat and trying to think of - and be helpful - to others.

Being broken was a catalyst for change.

Yes, I can relate. Great stuff,,,I learned a lot from this post!

Whoa I can so relate. I did the same thing until a year ago when I was either going to die or live. I had to get the alcohol out before I could learn to love anything other than alcohol.

You can get better, if I did, then you can

1is2

aka,

I relate to what you say. I felt like I was lower than a snake's belly when I sobered up. I still had the mind of an active alcoholic, just without the booze.

Of course I was broken. Once I got a sponsor and began the work, I was able to begin doing the right thing. I began to feel a sense of self worth for the first time in my life. As I continued on and began living my life based on spiritual principles, I found true peace of mind.

I used to go see therapists when I was drinking but I couldn't actually "hear" them through my own rationalization and justification. I was one of those who sought out professional help after I'd been sober a while. Wow, the therapy enhanced my recovery because I was able to hear what the therapist was actually saying!

For me, everything had to start with my sobriety. Today, I am whole. That's by God's grace. I pray that you find your way back.

Just because you feel broken doesn't make it so. But we *do* come in with war wounds, and some of those wounds take longer to heal than others. Self-worth and self-esteem were non existent for me, and it took me quite a bit of time to start building them up. I am still not where I would like to be, but frankly, I am where I need to be.

I believe that the act of getting sober is an act of self-love. If you didn't care about yourself, then you wouldn't care about getting sober. You'd let alcohol finish the deed at some point. But you're here, you're at meetings, etc. That's self-love. Even if it doesn't feel like it.

And it goes up from there. One brick builds upon another. I know what you mean when someone says "just love yourself". That's like saying "just stop drinking". Easy to say, when you want to spit on the mirror when you pass it. But it does come. Brick by brick, as long as I doing the work and having my faith in the Creator.

It does happen.

Paul