That is so sad to read - and a sponsor making fun of you - that would bring out the worst in me personally. You did well to get through three imo. It is so very hard to stop, I am well down on what I used to drink - but stopped - no - and still scared to "go naked" without alcohol.
You will find fantastic support on here and they don't judge you.

Wait for the encouragement that will come your way. You are so not alone on this.
Hugs
G.

Hello akacountrygirl,

I am so sorry to hear about your bad experience with AA and I totally understand how it can be difficult for women, not just in your town but in many others also. However, while AA is helpful for many alcoholics, you can certainly get sober without it.

The first thing that I would urge you to do is to educate yourself about alcoholism. Find out what it is that makes you take that first drink, why you cannot stop at one or two and why you find it difficult to stay sober. The guy at the link below explains it very well. He is taking the AA approach but you can listen to his explanation without going to AA. Neither do you have to agree with everything he says but do try to keep an open mind.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5pVBDQPC2XQ

Once you know a bit about alcoholism, you will have a decision to make. Are you finished with drinking? Do you accept that you are an alcoholic and cannot drink safely? There cannot be any lingering doubts in your mind no ifs or maybes.

If you do accept that you cannot drink again, your next task is to change your thinking so that those life issues (people, places and things) that would cause you to drink are no longer an issue. Maybe counselling would help you with that. Some people turn to religion and that helps them, while it would be useless to others. Get a hold of Alen Carrrs book I dont know how useful it is but it is worth a try.

There are just two things that you need to do:

1) Accept that you cannot drink.
2) Change your way of thinking so that you are in charge of your life and your thinking.

Now, put the cork in the bottle and let this be a new beginning. You can do it if you really want it.

sorry this is not good news and your sick.....hugs

Sorry to hear about this, countrygirl. I haven't had the nerve to go to the AA meeting I found in my area. I am not comfortable with any kind of group!. But I have made it 4 weeks sober so far with the support and encouragement from this group. You just have to get fed up with yourself the old way and decide that you want to do this! Best wishes to you!!!

my sponser never called me but I called him, daily...sometimes twice daily.

Have you considered an in or outpatient treatment program? That's what started me on the path to recovery. You can call the alcohol and substance abuse center at your local hospital or have your doctor refer you.

I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers,

God Bless

Hugs your way. I'm sorry you are struggling and drinking again.

Please get some help -- can you go to rehab?

If you don't want to go down that path, contact Women For Sobriety:

http://www.womenforsobriety.org/beta2/

They don't have a lot of face-to-face meetings but if they do in your area -- please check it out. They are a supportive group. They don't publish their meetings online -- contact them through their web form. They also have online meetings and support.

You are worth it.

Sorry, country girl. You were doing so well for awhile. Well, we are all here for you. I didn't know you had liver problems. You have to stop drinking now and fight for your life! Do you have any sober friends? Are you working now? Well, I hope you can get back on track. It can be hard, believe me. Hugs to you, my friend.

The liver can heal if it's given a chance. My liver Alt levels were 155+. I was basically committing suicide by drinking. I was in a hospital with my dad one day and saw the rehab wing for transplants. I will never forget the look in those pls eyes. And then the tour guide said , these are the lucky ones. I about threw up when we got in the elevator to leave. But you know what? I went straight to a bar on the way home. I had a huge pain in my side that was my liver hurting and the only way I knew to cope was to drink.

I drank for awhile longer and then decided I was done. I went and sought out a group of other alcoholics, decided in my heart that I was an alcoholic and decided to get busy living. That was 4 years ago. I have had tests on my liver enzymes and by a year they were back within normal numbers.

It is possible to stop the sinking ship. Just plug the jug

1is2many

Hi aka. Like Bob said, my sponsor didn't call me. I called her. That's how it normally works. I was the one asking for help so I had to call her. She wasn't my friend at first. She was my sponsor. The person to guide me through the steps. The steps saved my life. I'm sorry AA didn't work out for you. Hugs, Dianna

It's unfortunate you've had that experience. How quick into your sobriety did you pick them? I waited a good six months to find someone who had what I wanted.

There are amazing women at my home group. I'm sorry it didn't work well for you.

You have the power to quit drinking. Use that power. You do not need a sponsor or AA

This book has helped some people:
https://www.amazon.com/Easy-Way-Stop-Drinking/dp/1402736479
It seems that with your liver problems you have to do whatever you can to stop drinking. Thank you for posting this as it shows how horrible Alcoholism is.

Hmm. Well I don't know where you are; and Im' very sorry for your experience. Your experience is entirely different than mine.
I'm a sober woman; got sober in AA with the help and guidance of many but particularly the women in the rooms.
I moved to across country last week and met another group of wonderful women in AA here too.
If you are dying of alcoholism; you need to get medical help immediately. Call a DR check into an ER.

I text my sponsor everyday.... Sometimes a few times a day. She doesn't always have words but a little love sent your way is huge just to know your not alone

Ok, I am stopping now. Got into trouble with my doctor...my ua showed alcohol in it. We talked about it and now I have to stop...I needed to stop and prayed for help and got a bad ua. Guess that's God's way of putting back in my place. Whatever the reason, I'm glad it happened.