Alcoholism Support Group
Alcoholism is the continued consumption of alcoholic beverages, even when it is negatively affecting your health, work, relationships and life. If you think alcohol is causing you to lose control, it's time to seek help. Our group is a safe place to vent, check in, get back up if you fall, and reach sobriety.
Hi y'all! It is Sunday morning and a warm fog has manifested out my door. October is showing us it's magic before bringing it's mayhem.
Honestly I am caught in a place of "woman on the verge" with my mother in law, also "on the verge", having moved into my son's room. She hasn't been here a week and has my husband ramped up to the point of meltdown. She is from Serbia and lost her husband at the end of August. She is charming, helps out where she can, but also just fucking nuts. We have to play this game of "ask her 3 times" to get her to join us anywhere. My husband will ask, then sends me to ask, then he asks again. She will guilt trip you that "she was ready, waiting" if you just leave.
She has asked why we don't have sex more often. There's a mother to my husband 10 feet from my door! You have been here, like a minute! Ffs!!! Holy hell how the fuck is that your fucking business! I guess i won't be anytime soon with a goddamn spy either! Fuck right off!!
Phew. Breath.
I do honestly care about her. I understand she thinks she is bonding or some shit. She talks to herself and has thrown the word, "hostage" repeatedly. I'm just so over it. Hostage? Bitch i been cab driving your highness around town and over 2 hours each way to the airport!! We are helping you and cleared our child out of his own room you ingrate!!! Argh!!!!!
Phew. Breath.
So, yeah.. Wow do i want to drink. Just blow it all up as the sustainability of the situation is untenable long term. She needs help getting pension straight, may return to a place in her country but then is left alone with a son over there who shuts her out.
My husband invites it all in. Straight Bates Motel at times. She is calling him at work and making him cry about his father. He spoke to her "4 times" in a day the other week AT WORK!! FFS!!
What 43 year old man is talking to his mother at work over and over again?
Meanwhile we sit down to finally watch our show, let the tension rest, and boom..she's there. They are bickering Slavs, he is talking through the floor while she is upstairs! It goes on, and on, AND ON..
Phew. Breath.
Meanwhile my brother is still in liver failure. He is calling me, lonely, wants my dad to be brought there. What's the Hulu password again? The ammonia on his brain it is like he is dementia patient and I go over and over it. I don't want to face it. I don't have it in me to keep caring for everybody else and leave myself destitute. These people are consuming me, madness is consuming me..I'm fucking mad..red hot, raging fire has lit up my brain. I am so angry!!!
I am still sober, however. I am finally coming into a place where the thought of alcohol to my lips makes me wretch a little inside. You will not beat me. I will climb out of this hot mess and be the goddamn hero!!
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check out that smoke ring. It tasted really good. I smothered it with Maulls BBQ sauce which is Local to St. Louis and one of the best I ever had.....
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I was recently separated from my wife of 33 years and it's complicated. Anyway I rented a room about 15 minutes away and I see my kids about once a week. I see the people who own the house I live in once in a while but other than that I stay in my room where I do my cooking, wash dishes in the shower, read, color, and sleep. I get out at least once a day. I grocery shop and I attend 2 meetings...
My alcoholism was caused by any excuse. My mom ,my boss, my spouse. See the real issue was how I coped with all the chaos around me.
I suggest you go somewhere where the ppl can show you how to cope without booze
Have you ever been to a meeting?
I learned things I could do to stay sane in this world
Some are huge, others intimate
Get out of the house regularly, take time out for you, between the mother in law and your brother, you need to get out and breathe. Take care
When I first got sober, I said the serenity prayer many times to get me through the days in which I felt annoyed by this that or the other one. It helped me alot, but different things work for different people and we all need to find what works for us....
God Bless
Of course that's a hell of a lot easier as she lives with her boyfriend. I really feel for you and can imagine the pressure you're feeling. I think hostage applies to you more.... Thus the 'on the verge' feeling. Although you could look at it as gratitude for having people who need you.... :) Too much?
I will say this, after years of sobriety not much gets under my skin anymore. There's this Buddhist monk who has some great books, it's all about perception. He said this thing about being stuck in traffic that I remember every time; I'm not Stuck in traffic, I Am the traffic. The guy behind me is looking at my brake lights... This simple shift in perception changes the whole experience. Soooo, you staying sober through all this is slowly changing you. Stay on this path and I guarantee that you will look back at this time and see how mature you are becoming. I'm really proud of you and impressed with you holding it together through such a trying time.